Falling Off Of Rooftops
by Ksrjah
Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that's scary, because who really wants to be dropped?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (Not started)

Time: O.O not sure, I've been working on it off and on for a month or two. I'll say like five/six hours.

Disclaimer: I've always thought that this little thing is unnecessary because if we owned the series, why would we be writing fanfiction for it when we can make it cannon. I think the actual authors look at these and laugh at us, and mock our hopes and dreams of romance. With that being said, I do not own Fairy Tail T.T

Author Note: You know, I've been writing from Natsu's pov since I started posting stories, and I think, as a _girl_, I should be able to write Lucy better because she's a _girl. _So I tried something knew here. I alternated pov from Natsu to Lucy, each chapter has two parts. The larger one is Natsu because I feel more comfortable with him, but I plan to be writing a more Lucy based story than Natsu. I hope that makes since.

Additional Info: As I have not started Part Two, there may be a waiting period in between the two halves. Not sure how long. Updates will be frequent. Probably Twice a week. Thursday/Monday. Oh, and this story is based off of something that happened to one of my real life friends. The only thing that hadn't happened was the ending.

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><p>Part One: Disaster<p>

I.

Without the moon to light his way, Natsu walked slowly towards Lucy Heartfilia's apartment. It was true that he could see well at night, but he liked to blame the lack of light. Deep down, he knew it wasn't the darkness that made him walk slow, no, it was his very own conscience. He didn't want to reach Lucy's apartment any more than he wanted to go on a train. Frowning, Natsu bit his lip. He couldn't remember when going to Lucy's apartment went from being fun and thrilling, to dreadful and guilt ridden. He didn't like that.

He didn't like a lot of things about this situation.

For one, he knew that he made her worry about him, and he didn't like that at all. She never voiced it out loud, but he always found her sitting at her desk with her head resting on it. He never saw her notebook open, so he knew that she tried to wait for him, despite him telling her he was coming in late that night.

He inwardly winced. As of now, he would tell her that nightly before she left the guild, and tonight was no different.

He paused only a little bit at her window before jumping through it. He landed with a soft sound on the windowsill, eyes fixated on the curvy form of his girlfriend. Just like he predicted, she sat at her desk. Her cheek pressed against the wood, she faced him. He felt his heart squeeze tighter at the sight.

He didn't like how it hurt him when he saw her asleep. It felt like his heart constricted around itself when he saw the innocent expression on her face. It made him feel dirty.

Jumping from his perch, he strode over to her. This was another part of their new routine.

Every time he entered the apartment he would put her in bed. Another thing he didn't like was how he instinctually hesitated before climbing in next to her. Before this mess began, he had no arguments with invading her bed. Somehow, he now felt like he didn't belong there anymore. His sins didn't mix with her innocence.

He dove underneath the covers after tucking her in. Rolling onto his back, he laid ramrod straight. He made sure his arms, and legs stayed separate from her.

He couldn't roll over and wrap his arms around her, at least not yet. He didn't like that either. Eventually, he would take her into her arms because he couldn't fall asleep without her close to him anymore. Even before they started dating he was like that. It only intensified as their relationship bloomed. Now, nearly two years later, he _had_ to be next to her to fall asleep. There was no in-between anymore. If she wasn't in his arms, he wasn't going to get a wink of sleep that night. Normally, he wouldn't have it any other way. Now, he couldn't stand touching her unless it was absolutely necessary. He really, _really_ didn't like that. He hated how guilty it made him feel.

He sighed, tilting his head to look at her. Even that happened to be hard for him to do. He used to spend hours watching her sleep, now it made him want to hide away because someone as _honest_ as Lucy should _ not _be looked upon by someone as _filthy_ as him.

He can't stand what he became, but he also couldn't bring himself to change it either.

He can say that he technically fell in love with two girls. One a long time ago, back before he knew anything about dating in the first place. He wished he could go back to those days. He missed the simplicity of his childhood.

Then, after his first love supposedly passed away he met the second girl about a year later. He would be stupid to say it wasn't love at first sight.

Lucy was that second girl. He loved her more than he can describe. He would go to the end of the earth for her because seriously, he doesn't know how he would live without her.

The first girl was Lisanna. He knows that he can live without her, because he _has_ done that. So the choice should be obvious, right?

Hell no, nothing is ever obvious for him.

Natsu is not the type of person who can just let go. It's not in his DNA. Once something finds a place in his heart, it never leaves. Which in lies the current problem; he loves Lucy so much it hurts him, but he can't just let go of Lisanna.

He looped an arm around her waist, ignoring the tingly sensation of his skin touching hers. Pulling her closer as he squeezed his eyes shut. He bit down the pathetic whimper that bubbled up into his throat. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this up. He didn't like lying to Lucy. It caused him physical pain.

But, above all, he hated _himself_, because he knew someone he cared for had a great chance of getting hurt when all of his secret sneaking around came to a head. No one can get away with cheating on a girlfriend forever. Natsu new this much.

Nuzzling his head into her neck, he inhaled her scent. It soothed him, and he hated himself for it.

XxXx

Stretching her arms above her head, Lucy yawned. The morning sun rays splayed across her face. Her fingers reached up to fiddle with the necklace around her neck. One finger caressed the gold finished, marveling at how smooth it remained after a year of constant wearing. Yes, she loved the little heart shaped pendant that much.

Matter-of-fact she found herself becoming attached to a lot of things since she met Natsu. For example: chaos. At first, she hated the constant loudness of her new friends, what with their habits of breaking into her house and waking her up in the most _ungodly_ ways possible.

But now that it's been happening less frequently, Lucy found herself craving the moment of disorder. Who would have thought she'd ever miss something like that? Her father would have a fit.

Smiling, she rolled over, eyes blinking open.

She supposed it all came to be because of the man sleeping next to her. Her pink haired boyfriend showed her the way to the life she yearned for, his hand outstretched and inviting the whole time. Really, she owed him so much, but until later he would have to settle with her heart. She didn't have anything worth giving him yet, but _soon_ she would. He just had to be patient.

Snuggling deeper into his tight embrace, she inhaled deeply. Freezing, she sniffed again, and then frowned. Weird, he smelled…different. She could detect just the slightest hint of peppermint on his skin. It was mixed in with his own scent of faint burnt wood.

Curious yes, but bothersome? No. Maybe he dropped some toothpaste on himself before he came to bed. It wouldn't have been the first time.

Like he knew that she was thinking about him, he groaned as he turned over to lie on his back. He didn't say anything.

So she did. "Good morning Long night?"

Rubbing his eyes with his fists he nodded, yawning.

"Ah," She watched him, smiling slight at how cute he was being, "What time did you get in?"

"I don't know, 3ish I think?" His voice sounded gruff. She couldn't tell if it was from sleep, or a long night of yelling.

"Wow, no wonder you're so groggy. Why so late? You never did tell me why you were skipping dinner."

He tensed up, and she frowned. She didn't think the question was way out of line, or prying. She was just curious. Whatever he was doing had to have been fun for him to stay out that late.

"The guys were having a 'manly moment' as Elfman had put it. It was pretty much just male bonding. Don't worry you didn't miss much." He chuckled to himself, running a hand over his face.

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna go make breakfast. Want anything in particular?"

He shook his head 'no'.

Leaning over him, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Bacon and eggs it is then!"

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (Not started)

Disclaimer: I've always thought that this little thing is unnecessary because if we owned the series, why would we be writing fanfiction for it when we can make it cannon. I think the actual authors look at these and laugh at us, and mock our hopes and dreams of romance. With that being said, I do not own Fairy Tail T.T

Author Note: Today's my Best Friends Birthday, and Tomorrow is mine. So you guys should be extra nice and review because common, I don't turn 18 every day!

Additional Info: :) I'm in a good mood today!

* * *

><p>II.<p>

"Natsu," Mirajane paused in her cleaning to glare at him, "You can't expect us to cover for you much longer. It's been close to a month now. Either you tell Lucy about Lisanna, or you stop sneaking around behind her back. You and I both know it's wrong." She whispered because Lucy sat not ten feet away talking with Erza and Gray at a table.

Natsu couldn't meet her eyes. It seemed like he couldn't meet a lot of people's eyes since this started. Lisanna, Happy, and Gray were the only people he could have a normal conversation with. Anyone else he would either end up talking about stuff no different than what he and Mirajane were talking about now, or the other person ended up being Lucy.

Grimacing, he fisted his hand around the half empty glass of fire whisky. He left in the middle of breakfast for the guild, and he felt downright rotten for it. It wasn't that the food tasted bad. Truth be told, t she never failed to impress him with her cooking. It wasn't that her chatter bored him. No, the chatter was quite amusing, it was her voice and smile that made him leave. He couldn't deal with knowing he caused those happy expressions when in all honesty, she should be smacking him instead.

He felt sick, and he feared that if he stayed there much longer he might vomit. He knew the guilt stirring in his gut could be blamed for the sudden illness. Natsu remembered how jerky his joints moved as he stood up. It was like they didn't want to leave, or at least without Lucy by his side. Like a robot, he leaned over the table, and kissed her on the forehead.

He pretended to miss the hurt frown that pulled her lips down as he made a big deal of being 'filled to the max'. It was ironic because he never felt so empty, especially when he walked out of her front door. He forced himself not to look back, because he didn't want to see the expression on her face that he knew would be there.

"…are you alright, Natsu?" Mirajane leaned over the bar. Her face positioned so close to his own that when he looked up their noses touched.

"No, I'm not, alright. I don't know what to do. I can't have fun with my friends like I used to before this happened. I can't even _look_ Luce in the eyes anymore. I feel like Gray took a shit on me!" The last part of his sentence rose in volume so much that he yelled it.

He glanced up to see the majority of the guild staring back at him. His eyes darted the Lucy's, and when he met them his instantly fell to the floor. He cursed himself because that was not how a boyfriend looked at his girlfriend. In fact _no one_ looked at Lucy like that, except for him. Wow, there was no doubt it; not only did he become the world's worst boyfriend, but best friend too.

"Natsu-kun?" The small blue haired bookworm turned on her bench, and put a tiny hand on his shoulder. Worry evident in her brown eyes, she looked at him with pity, "You should keep it down, Lucy already looks suspicious that something's up…"

Natsu stiffened, mystified that he'd been so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't notice that both Levy and Gajeel took a seat on either side of him. He shook his head, running a hand through his already mused hair.

"I find it hard to believe that you haven't figured anything out yet. Unless you're that much of a dumbass." Gajeel rasped, irritated. It irked Natsu that it sounded like Gajeel knew something that he didn't.

So he voiced just that. "Like I said before, I haven't. Do you know something that I don't?" He growled low in his throat.

Gajeel shrugged, "Apparently I do."

"Then why haven't you told me anything about it!" Natsu stood up, eyes narrowed into menacing slits.

"Because it's so obvious the entire fucking guild knows it, hell, I'm pretty sure Lucy even knows a little bit about it. You're the only one _stupid_ enough to not know—"

"Is everything alright?"

Natsu spun around, eyes wide. "Yep! Everything's fine Luce!" He stretched his mouth into a wide smile, hoping it would at least resemble that of a real, genuine smile.

The look on Lucy's face worried Natsu. "I don't know if I believe you…" She stepped closer, "You've been acting real strange Natsu. Is something bothering you?"

"N-No!" He answered her like he answers Erza when she's angry with him; his words cut short and his voice squeaky.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Alright then, wanna have dinner at the new restaurant down the street from my apartment. I heard they make good fire food!" She smiled at him, and he averted his gaze to the ground.

"Uhh…." He didn't know what to say. He knew it would be painful for him. He could barely look at her _now_, and she had her normal attire on. She didn't dress to impress, which she will be doing for dinner, "Well…I have things…."

Lucy crossed her arms, her narrowed eyes glaring. "Things? Are you going to hang out with the guys again? That's all you've been doing all month Natsu! I've barely gotten to talk to you since Lisanna got back!"

Natsu gulped down a gasp. If her train of thought keep in this direction she would find out in front of everyone. He wanted to be alone with her when he told her about his…misdeeds. He didn't want this to be public. He didn't know how she would react, _how he would react_.

"Luce, it depends on what t-time you want to meet. I have to…pick something up for Happy later tonight."

"Oh, well I was thinking around sixish. Will that work?"

He smiled again. This time it felt a little less fake to him. "Yeah, I'll meet you at the restaurant."

A stunning smile lit up her face, and Natsu felt his lips uplift. Her happiness had always been contagious. "Cool, this little date is well overdue, don't you think?" She closed the space between them wrapping her arms around his neck. Her eyes looked up at his, innocence brewing in their depths. His heart constricted on itself again. It took him a couple seconds, but he moved his arms to her hips. His hands burned.

She leaned forward on her tippy-toes. Kissing him on his chin, then the side of his mouth, and finally straight on his lips, she hummed to herself blissfully.

For his part Natsu froze, his hands lifting off of her hips and clenching. Squeezing his eyes shut, he imagined he looked pained. In reality that's not too far from the truth. His system alight with fire, it was physically grueling to keep himself in check. If he didn't know any better, he might have though his body could rebel against his mind.

After a moment of lingering, Lucy backed away and he relaxed. Exhaling a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, he opened his eyes to look at her. He regretted doing that.

Lucy looked close to tears.

Before he could say anything she turned around, blonde hair flipping out behind her. She then walked back over to Gray and Erza. She didn't look, or speak to either of them.

He looked beyond her, catching eyes with Lisanna. The white haired girl also had a frown on her face. Her eyes were distant with what Natsu assumed to be thought.

Dear Lord, he didn't know how he got himself into this, but he did know that he didn't like it.

XxXx

After she talked to Natsu, no one approached her. It didn't matter that she sat across from Erza and Gray. She didn't want to talk to them, and they seemed to know that. She didn't need comfort, she didn't want their sympathy, or at least verbalized. She sat across from her friends, content with not being alone, and silently thanking them for the unwavering support.

Above all, she thinks they know that she needs time to think, and thoughts like these are thoughts better done with company. Even if she spoke to no one, anything beat doing this outright alone.

Even as a child she hated being alone, because after her mother died she always felt like that. Alone. Forgotten. A nuisance. That was all she ever was to her father.

And now? She didn't know. She thought she had everything figured out, but after what just happened with Natsu…..

She shook her head. What _did _happen with Natsu?

Why was he acting so strange, could he be hiding something from her?

Lucy didn't want to think like that, but he left her no choice. She _knows_ Natsu, and something is bothering him. Something big. Something bad.

A tingling sensation bit at the back of her neck. She'd grown used to being watched. Ever sense she joined Fairy Tail, people have been watching her. Something's different this time though. The usually unnerving feeling bitter this time around, it forced her to turn and look.

Brown eyes met blue, and Lucy's heart fell into her stomach.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (Not started)

Disclaimer: I've always thought that this little thing is unnecessary because if we owned the series, why would we be writing fanfiction for it when we can make it cannon. I think the actual authors look at these and laugh at us, and mock our hopes and dreams of romance. With that being said, I do not own Fairy Tail T.T

Author Note: This is my favorite chapter, specifically Natsu's part.

Additional Info: ...ducks?

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><p>III.<p>

Midday heat made the guild hot. Or maybe his body heat had something to with it? Natsu didn't know. He didn't know anything anymore.

"She left." Mirajane said. "We have about a half an hour before her return."

Natsu sat at the bar again, sipping at his fourth drink as his shoulders slumped. Her presence made him stiff, and now that she left it felt like he could breathe again. He didn't like that he could no longer take comfort in her presence anymore.

"You've got to tell her. We can't lie to her anymore for you. We're her friends too, and you and I both know it's wrong. Pick one by the end of the week or I'm telling Lucy." Natsu could feel Mirajane's anger emitting from her body. He imagined this must be hard on her, considering he was cheating on one of her closest friends with her younger sister.

He rested his head on the counter. He felt like crying. "How?" He mumbled.

"What?"

Lifting his eyes to meet hers, he repeated himself. "How do you expect me to choose? I love them both."

This only angered her more. Her gentle blue eyes flared, and he saw the raw power the ex-S class mage held deep within her body. He shivered.

"Natsu," Her voice quivered, "You're hurting them. If you think you're only hurting Lucy with this…stupidity…then you need to open your eyes. Lisanna is suffering too. You need to be a man and decide what you want. Otherwise you might do more damage than you can handle."

"I don't want to be a man. I'm scared Mira." He whispered more to himself than anyone. He straightened back up to take another sip of his drink. Mirajane pursed her lips, eyes still livid.

The blunt impact of a fist took him by surprise. The punch had some much force behind it that it almost sent him toppling off the stool. He griped the counter for support, confused. At first he thought Mirajane had hit him, but her words disproved his initial assumption.

"Gray! That looked like it hurt!"

Oh course the ice bastard threw the punch. Only one person could throw a punch that hard, and although Natsu would never admit it out loud, that person was Gray.

The stinging numbness overtook Natsu's jaw, and he realized with a start that the jerk hadn't even held back a little.

"What the f—"

"Don't what the fuck me, you asshole. You know exactly what!" Gray moved in close to his face, droopy eyes glaring daggers.

"Get you're ugly mug out of my face, ice breath." Natsu hissed, trying to make light of the situation with petty insults. He didn't like the way Gray lurked over him, expression set in a dangerous glare.

Growling, Gray grabbed him by the edge of his vest, and pulled him so close that his nose brushed up against Gray's. "I'm so fucking sick of you walloping in self pity. Do you have _eyes_? Can you _see_ what you're doing to Lucy? Do you _see _what you're doing to your friends? It took all I had NOT to tell Lucy. She doesn't deserve what you're doing to her. She can do so much better, she deserves someone so much better than you." Gray hissed, ice cold breath splaying across Natsu's face.

Natsu's jaw snapped shut. He felt heat rising up from his chest, spreading warmth wherever Gray touched. "And who do you think would be better than me?" He challenged, voice dropping to a menacing tone.

Gray shoved away from Natsu and took a deep breath. "Anyone is better than someone who cheats. She needs someone who can take care of her. Someone who can look her in the eyes before they kiss. Someone who can keep his promises. _Someone like me!_"

Everything slowed down for Natsu. The gasps that spread throughout the guild mocked him in the slow clarity of it all. The look on Gray's face: a mix disgust, and anger. The overall silence, not even a whisper. This entire thing made Natsu feel. He didn't know what, so he substituted it with anger.

"_Don't touch her_." Then he lunged at Gray, teeth bared, and seeing red, his eyes set to kill. His left hand reached for his neck, the other gripping high on his arm as he tackled him to the floor. Pulling his right hand back, he felt flames engulf it. Then, with all the muscle he could put behind it, he threw his fist.

"_STOP THIS NOW." _Erza's voice boomed, pulling him away from Gray. His fist swiped at air, missing Gray, which only furthered Natsu's anger. He struggled against Erza, arms flexing against hers. "Please Natsu, stop." Natsu would bet money that she wasn't talking about fighting with Gray anymore. "Look what it's doing to us." She whispered. He deflated.

Erza dropped him, his back hitting the ground hard. He looked at Gray, the ice mage remained on the ground. His body propped up by his elbows, he looked towards the door. Natsu blinked and swallowed hard, looking down at his own hands. He could still feel the heat coming off of them, and he clenched them. The murderous thoughts ran through his head again. Natsu sighed, hanging his head in shame. He just attacked his nakama, and it wasn't with playful intent this time.

"What's going on?"

Lucy was back, and Natsu wanted to die.

XxXx

Lucy tapped her foot, irritated brown eyes narrowed at the backs of two specific guild members. One of them with pinjk hair, the other with what. Now, Lucy prided herself of not being among the jealous types. She understood that Natsu could talk to anyone he wished, and she trusted him enough to believe he wouldn't go behind her back.

But, Lucy couldn't help but feel like something was looming over her. The way Natsu laughed with Lisanna irked her because _he didn't laugh like that with her anymore._ The way he touched her, with his hand touching her forearm made Lucy want to run from the guild and never look back because _he doesn't touch her at all anymore. _ And even if he did, he looked like he'd just been punched by Gajeel soon after.

Like the two in question sensed her stare, they both craned their neck to look over at her. Instead of avoiding their stares, like she did in a situation like this in normal circumstances, she steeled her nerves and returned their gaze, eyes hard and unwavering.

Lisanna looked away first, her shoulders hunching as she rested her head on the counter top of the bar. Natsu held Lucy's gaze for a brief second more, what looked like fear surfaced in his dark eyes, and when he returned his attention to Lisanna his eyes soften in ways she hadn't seen in weeks. He leaned down and whispered something to her, and Lucy bit her lip in anger. _He never whispered _ANYTHING_ to her anymore._

Broken from her thoughts by a hysterical sob, Lucy watched with vacant eyes as Lisanna stood and turned for the door, Natsu hot on her tail.

She smelt peppermint again, and she had a flashback to when she and Natsu chatted in bed this morning. Lisanna had always smelled minty….

She wondered if Natsu would follow her if she were to run from the guild in tears. Something vile settled in her heart. It told her he wouldn't.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (FINALLY STARTED...but only like two pages are done, that's on section of one chapter.)

Disclaimer: .Stupid. Obviously, I don't own Fairy Tail. GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M ALREADY UPSET.

Author Note: I',m sorry I didn't respond to any of my reviews personally, but fanfiction is being stupid. It won't let me review, reply to reviews or PMs. and it gets angry when I try to submit a new chapter [As this is my third time trying for this chapter alone.] Am I the only one it's being screwy with? I hope not. That hardly seems fair.

Additional Info: I'm sad to say that this one is very...filler. Interesting filler, but filler no less. Next chapter, shit goes down, yo. So stay tuned for Thursday's update, homies. [I am sooooo gangsta, bitches.]

IV.

"Lisanna, I know this is hard—"

"No Natsu, this isn't _hard_, it's _impossible. _Did you see the way she looked at us, _she knows Natsu_. I don't think we should do this anymore. I think you should go to Lucy and tell her everything, otherwise you're playing with fire, and for once in your life Natsu; you're going to get burned."

He swallowed whatever argument he had to defend himself, because Lisanna hit the center mark. He too saw how Lucy looked, and the emotion in her eyes made his heart drop into his stomach. He would never forget the cold anger there, the resentment. Like a volcano before the eruption, she seemed to stew. As Lisanna said, it was only a matter of time before everything blew up in his face.

"I knew this was stupid. I-I knew…I was stupid. You're so obviously in love with her! I don't know what made me think we could pick up where we left off. N-now I screwed everything up. Natsu, I'm sorry. S-So sorry." Lisanna's small frame shook with concealed sobs. She had pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her head leaned between her knees as she rocked back and forth.

He could smell the salt of her tears. It disturbed him. This was one of many set backs to having enhanced senses.

"It's not your fault, Lisanna. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I love both of you. I just wish you guys could just…accept that."

It was Lisanna's turn to remain quiet for a while. Natsu watched her, hands clutching at the sides of his vest. He didn't want to think about what went through Lucy's head as he passed her in chase of the white haired woman. It must have looked horrible, and he wondered how everything will play out tomorrow in the guild. He knew that if roles were reversed, and she'd been chasing Gray like he chased Lisanna, then he would ahve been beyond angry. Beyond livid.

Lisanna took a shaky breath. "I-I," She sniffled, and he scooted closer, putting a comforting arm around her, but right now, he couldn't worry about that. Lisanna needed him,"think you should go find her now. Tell her everything, _and I do mean everything Natsu_. The look she gave us…it was so accusing. And I don't think I'll be able to look myself in the mirror if we don't make this right." Her voice tinkered into a whisper until she had no more words to say. She shook violently under his arm, and not for the first time he felt like an asshole.

"Tomorrow." He uttered under his breath, "Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, I will talk to her. Until then let's get you inside, it's cold. Wanna watch a movie or something?"

Lisanna looked up, blues eye stained with red. "S-sure." She stood up, staying as close to Natsu as possible. He wondered if she scooted close to him for his heat, or because she knew this was very possibly the last opportunity she would have to snuggle up to him. Either way, it didn't quell the turmoil reeking havoc on his nerves.

Together the two mages took to the stairs. Lisanna tried to open the door to the house she shared with her siblings but the spare key in her hand seemed to avoid the lock. Her hands shook so much that after a couple failed attempts Natsu snatched the key from her hand and opened the door himself.

Before closing it behind him, Natsu looked to the front yard, his heart constricting again. Tomorrow, he had to be a man.

Lucky him.

XxXx

Fist balled tightly, teeth clenched, and eyes squeezed shut, Lucy ignored the thick tears streaming down her face. She ignored the waiter that asked if he could do anything to help her. She ignored the new stain on her favorite blouse, and she also ignored the chunks of glass from the now broken cup, even as they dug into the palm of her hand.

The only things that she could bring herself to care about were the words of the gossiping girls sitting behind her.

"_It's been a month since he started cheating on her with the new arrival. She doesn't know a thing. Poor girl."_

"_It's actually not a new arrival. I'm pretty sure she was thought to be dead. I also read somewhere that Natsu and she had made a promise at a young age to marry."_

"_Cameille, where do you learn all these things? What type of books do you read? _

"_Ones about Fairy Tail, duh."_

"_Not the point. The poor girl is the last to know, and she's soooo in love with him. I heard, that he even asked the rest of the guild to cover for him. Really, she could do so much better—"_

Unclenching her fists, she wiped the tears away, even as they continued to drop. Her eyes opened, and she stood, leaving the money for the wine, she then darted for the door. As she ran down the street to her apartment, her eyes blurred, and her vision melding together until she couldn't see anything that wasn't immediately in front of her. She inwardly thanked whatever god decided to open the new fire food restaurant down the street, because now she only had to stumble down a fourth of a mile to get to her house. Fumbling with her keys at her front door she cursed when the door wouldn't open.

Frustrated, she gave up and instead pressed her back against the door, slipping down to sit. She covered her face with her hands, letting sobs leak from her mouth. They were so big that they hurt her.

The worst part about this whole situation was that she had no choice but to believe what the woman said.

He never showed up for their date, and the last person she saw him with happened to be Lisanna

"Tomorrow," She wept, whispering to herself. Tomorrow she would set things right.

She decided that tonight she would begin packing her bags as soon as she calmed down enough to get the door open.

So much for her happy ending.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (FINALLY STARTED...but only like two pages are done, that's on section of one chapter.)

Disclaimer:Stupid. Fairy Tail, If I owned you, things would be so different.

Author Note: Alright, Fanfiction is finally being nice again. I'll be responding to reviews and reviewing now! Yay! I want to thank everyone for the great support you're showing me with this story. I never realized how much a writer puts into their reviews until now, and I thank you guys soooo much. They really do mean a lot to me! In other news, Next chapter ends Part One on this story. I also realized that last update was a day late. That was because I had a brain fart and forgot that I had monday off, so therefore didn't think about updating until school started again. Whoops, sorry guys. Teheheh.

Additional Info: Shady could've done it better.

V.

Eyes trained at the guild doors, Natsu's legs jiggled in anticipation. In fact, his whole body trilled with emotion. True, half of him buzzed with joy to get things out in the open and hope that the bond he had with Lucy would be strong enough to hold their relationship together, the other have cowered with apprehension.

Last night, with Lisanna's head snuggled into his neck, he thought about Lucy. What he had to say to her. Where he would tell her. How he would tell her. He also thought about the relationship. He contemplated ending it, but after a bit of deliberation he threw that idea to the wind. That would be stupid. For crying out loud, he couldn't sleep without her next to him. If he were to break up with her she would distance herself, and he didn't think he would be able to handle that.

By the time the sun crept through the window, he had a game plan laid out.

He would meet her at the door, and lead her outside the guild so they would have a bit of privacy. Then he would do whatever in his power to keep their relationship in tack.

Natsu knew that was the most important part of his plan. If he failed, then it would be like his heart lost its beat. He supposed he should have thought about this when he first start seeing Lisanna behind Lucy's back, but frankly, he accepted that he wasn't known for thoroughly thinking things through.

He rubbed his tired eyes with the ball of his fist. When he first walked into the guild his heart clenched hard, almost like all those constricting feelings from the month came back all at once and dropped kicked it into his stomach. The feeling only intensified with each passing second.

"Damnnit, flame brain, we're all nervous here but you're going to knock the whole table over. Stop. Twitching." Natsu let his fists fall, and glowered at the ice mage over the table. Gray sat beside Erza, and Natsu felt a bit off sitting in his normal seat across from them again. Since Lisanna returned, he spent his time at the bar with her. Now that he'd returned to his seat he realized how much he missed it.

"I'm not twitching. I'm moving."

"Whatever you're doing stop it. It's getting on my nerves." Erza stepped in, settling the fight even before it started. What a kill joy.

Natsu brought his attention to the rest of the guild. They all acted in much the same manner, edgy, twitchy, and uncomfortable. No one spoke louder than a hushed whisper. Many looked to the clock, knowing that in five minutes Lucy would make her entrance. The blonde was a creature set in her habits. He wouldn't have her any other way.

Never had time passed so slow for him. On missions he would loose track of time. While looking for his father he would be gone for months and think it'd only been a few weeks. But now, as he waited for his girlfriend, it felt like every second had enough time to hold a year in it.

Maybe this was his punishment for being greedy.

"Natsu," The gruff voice of Gajeel brought him back to reality. He would never admit it, but he jumped at the sudden sound. "Have you figured it out yet?"

Scowling at the larger man, Natsu replied with a dull tone. "Figured what out?"

Gajeel's stare hardened. Rolling his eyes he sighed. "You have to be the densest, stupidest, dragon slayer I've ever had the misfortune of meeting." Gajeel muttered under his breath, but Natsu heard it. Even if Natsu agreed with Gajeel to some extent, he still felt like he had to protect his pride.

"Say that to my face you metal freak!"

"I just did." Gajeel commented dryly, shooting Natsu an irked look, "are you gonna fight me, or can I tell you why you're so stupid." Looking to the clock, the iron dragon slayer scowled. "You've got two minutes to decide."

The answer was obvious, even to him. "Why?"

Gajeel scoffed, "I can't believe I actually have to tell you."

"Just tell me, damnnit."

The other dragon slayer plopped into Lucy's seat. Natsu bristled at that. "You cheated on your mate, dumbass."

Like a flash went off in his brain, Igneel's words from so long ago blurred into focus.

_Natsu, son, one day you will find someone special. A woman that will balance you out, your opposite. You will find yourself drawn to her from the beginning. You will find sleep hard to come by without her, and that is because of your instincts, which is to protect her. You will want nothing more than to spend time with her. This woman is your mate. When you find her, don't screw it up. It doesn't matter how long you live, you'll never find another one like her._

The guilt that he'd been feeling intensified tenfold, forcing him into a suffocating heat. His head swirled with questions. _How could he be so stupid_? He felt like he was drowning, and this time, no one could save him because the only person who could happened to be the person he wronged.

The clock struck nine, and the guild doors opened. Wide eyed, and shaking, Natsu stood, fully intent of confessing everything to Lucy, and begging for her forgiveness. He no longer cared that it would be in front of the guild, he didn't even care that Lisanna would see it anymore. He needed to right this thing before he let Igneel down., and before his mistakes cost him something this precious.

_Don't worry Igneel, I won't screw it up_. His younger, happier voice rung through his head with a giggle.

He rose his eyes to meet Lucy's, but what he saw made him freeze in his place. She looked like someone had just beaten her within an inch of her life. Her face pale, hair mused and a bit greasy, and intense dark circles lined her empty, bloodshot eyes.

A pretty blouse hung in wrinkled lumps over her body, a large stain covered her chest. Her pencil skirt also rumbled like the blouse, it rode up a little too far for the dragon slayer's liking.

Her hands were wrapped in gauze, and he could just make out the scent of antibiotics and blood. Her blood.

He found his breath gone, because why would Lucy wear such nice clothes, but not care that they've been soiled. Had something happened to her? Did someone hurt her? If they did then he would tear them a new—

Like a brick to the head, he remembered the date he planned with Lucy. The date that he never went to.

She didn't even look at him, she didn't look at anyone. Instead she walked right past them and up the stairs.

He wanted to follow her, catch her before she made it to her destination. But something stopped him. He didn't know if it was shock, trepidation, or a combination of the both, but he ended up rooted to the stop.

He swore that he couldn't feel his hear beat.

XxXx

Last night was hell. No, that's an understatement. Last night was like the deepest level of hell, with a million evil Gajeels beating the crap out of her. Last night was nothing but a horrible mess of tears, blood, and packing. Last night was just like the night her mother died, if not worse, because then at least she had maids to help calm her down.

She had no one now.

Her eyes hurt. Her hands throbbed because she doubted she got all the glass out from the mirror she dropped and the glass she shattered in the restaurant. Her head, now reduced to a fog of anger and sadness, ached with such a force she wanted to cry more. If she could that is. Truth be told, she wouldn't be surprised if she cried every last tear out last night.

"Lucy, you look like you just came back from a mission that went horribly wrong." She didn't even realize she stood in front of Master Makarov's open office door. She stepped in, closing it behind her.

The little man sat on top of his desk. A pipe hung out of his mouth and paper work spread out in front of him across the wooden top of the desk. She opened her mouth to begin explaining her predicament, but he held a hand up to stop her.

"I already know what this is about, child. Natsu. You don't have to explain the story to me. I've heard it enough to make me sick."

Lucy nodded. "Good, I didn't really want to talk about it."

"I figured. But you came up here for a reason, and although I have a hunch to what that reason is, I would like to hear _that_ from your mouth." He put his pipe down and gave her his undivided attention. One would think this would be intimidating, but Lucy savored it. It felt good to be listened to after a month of deceit.

"I want to leave Fairy Tail." She said it plain and simple. No beating around the bush. She had enough of that type of crap.

"As I feared," Master's expression hardened, "I have no right to stop you, Lucy, but are you sure you want to do this without talking to your teammates and friends first?"

She thought of her friends when she made the decision to leave. She wondered about their reaction, and what they would do. Would her closer nakama come after her? Would they send search parties out looking for her? She doubted it. If they really cared about her, they would have told her about Natsu within the first weeks of the affair. That's what real friends are supposed to do. Stick up for each other. When her back was turned she trusted that they would look after it, and now that she's falling-head first no less-she doubted they would be there to catch her.

"I think its better this way," She unwrapped the bandage around her hand with her tattoo, "before I leave I'll talk to them though. I have a good idea of what I want to say to them."

Master Makarov eyed her hand, "What happened to your hand?" Disapproval evident in his voice.

He probably thought she smashed a window or something. Sure, she spent a lot of time with Natsu, but she didn't pick up any of _those_ habits. "In my rush to pack I knocked my mirror off the vanity. I tried catching it but I just ended up hurting myself. Big surprise there." She explained.

Master hopped down from the desk, taking a closer look at her hand. "There's still glass in there." He commented.

"I know, when I leave town I'll go to a pharmacist. I need a pair of tweezers and some more antibiotics."

"Do you plan on leaving Magnolia even if things go well with the other guild members?" He looked her in the eye, and she felt naked standing there in front of him.

Thinking back to her walk to the guild, she inwardly cringed. Now that she knew what was going on, she no longer walked around in an unaware haze. She heard _and_ understood what people were saying as she walked by them. She realized that the whispers were about her. She couldn't live like that. She lived as the center of a gossip driven life for far to long as a child. She left the mansion to get away from the gossip. And now, she will leave Magnolia for the same reason.

She would pursue her happiness, even if it killed her.

"Yes. There is nothing left for me here. I've over stayed my welcome. Obviously." She answered, a taste of her anger leaking into her words.

Large, earnest eyes stared deep into hers. She held the gaze, refusing to look away. She wasn't going to back out of her decision, no matter how long he stared at her. "I see you've made up your mind. I'm sorry you think you've over stayed your welcome, child. If you ever want to come back, we will welcome you with open arms."

Then, with obvious care, he took her hand into his. He raised his other one and her tattoo shimmered away. Her heart clenched. She knew this would be hard, and she knew, deep deep down that she would never find another place like Fairy Tail.

But a girl had to do what a girl had to do. "Thank you, Makarov." She smiled even though she felt tears build up at the edges of her eyes.

"There's a bathroom through that door. I don't usually let anyone use it, but I'll make this one exception. Go clean yourself up a bit before you descend the stairs."

She nodded, wiping her eyes.

"And take care of yourself, child. I don't even want to think how my children would react if something happened to you…."

She didn't think his words were meant for her ears. So she didn't respond.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Falling Off Of Roof Tops

Summary: Because love is like jumping off of roof tops. Despite what people may think, the leap is the easy part, the thrill of the fall makes up for the initial fear. It's the time period after the jumper is caught that is scary, because who really wants to be dropped?

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy, Lisanna/Natsu

Status: Part one (All chapters done) Part Two (FINALLY STARTED...but only like two pages are done, that's on section of one chapter.)

Disclaimer:Stupid. Fairy Tail, If I owned you, things would be so different.

Author Note: So, this is the last installment of part one, and as of now I ahve little of part two done. So, at list I've stopped at the midway point, in which if I were to actually complete this story it would be here. So i'm going to take a break from this story for a bit and post a couple oneshots I've been working on. For the record the two already-close-to-done ones are humourous fluffy ones. OUt of the two, one of them happens to be the sequel to Of Evil Blue Cats And Pink Haired Imbeciles. The pre published name of it is: Of cute blondes and Dimwitted Dragon Slayers. Figured I give you a bit of a tease!

Additional Info: Guys, I just got myself just dance 3, and the legend of Zelda collection for gamecube! SOOO HAPPY. nOH AND THIS THING IS EXTREMELY LONGER THAN THE OTHER CHAPTERS...LUCKY YOU GUYS?

VI.

After the click of the door upstairs reached his ears, Natsu thought that his breath would come easier. He thought that the nagging feeling of _doom_ would slip away because she had to have went up there to talk things out with Master. To vent, to yell, to point fingers until she could face her friends down here with a level head.

That was what he wanted to think. But lately, his thought processes did nothing but prove how stupid he was in reality. It appeared that denial was not just a river…somewhere. If anything that river ran threw his veins, only growing in size as precious seconds ticked passed him.

He knew he should be at Master's door, asking for her. Talking to her, and trying to defuse whatever extreme version of this story that she had cooked up in her head. Because as a writer, she had to have blown this out of proportion. Knowing her, she let herself believe he cheated with more than one person. He always loved her imagination, but he feared that in this case it could be the final straw that broke her back.

The sour scoff emphasized the tense silence that coated the guild. He found it weird how subdued everyone became as soon as Lucy walked through the guild doors. He would think that since she looked like she just got jumped by a mob everyone would flock to her, throwing questions of concern at her. Hell, he thought that at least _he _would approach her.

Before this, he wouldn't have even hesitated

Then, he heard footsteps, _and his breath stopped_, because only one person walked like that. Only one person exhaled like that and only one person has a heart that could be heard from such a far distance. His palms began to sweat. And his throat went dry.

She appeared on the stairs, looking less disoriented compared to what she looked like when she first arrived. The circles under her eyes appeared less dark, probably from washing the excess eye makeup away. Her hair hung in a low pony tail, still a bit tangled, and in an obvious need of a good washing, but better. He could smell salt on her, and could see the dried tear tracks that ran down her face and a little bit down her neck.

He hated that he couldn't go and comfort her. His legs wouldn't budge, and his arms wouldn't move.

When she descended the last step, the stillness of the room only thickened, it choked him, made him want to gag until all the contents of his stomach emptied.

She walked right past him, not even a side long glance. His eyes followed her back, pleading for her turn around and look at him. He needed to see her eyes, needed to feel her emotions. He didn't want her to bare this on her own, like she used to have to do while living with her father.

She stopped a couple feet away from the bar, and turned her back on it. Mirajane moved to stand next to Lisanna, worried eyes catching Natsu's as she reached a hand out and grasped her younger sister's.

He hated how much he wanted to hold Lucy's hand, but couldn't, because as hard as he willed his feet to move, they stayed rooted to their spots. So, desperate eyes stared at her face instead, trying to catch even a fleeting glance.

Her eyes met everyone's but his. Her gaze moved from person to person, and about half way through the guild members, she started to shake. If he wasn't paying such close attention to her, he would have missed the slight changes that took place after the shaking began. Her face, masked with a thin layer of apathy, began to crack.

Something big was about to happen, and he didn't like it because his direct actions caused it. He felt helpless. He felt weak.

He became the one thing he swore he would never become: a coward.

After what felt like an eternity, her eyes landed on him. The rest of her mask fell to pieces, and her beautiful, _innocent_, face contorted in pain. Her eyes began to shimmer, and not the good type.

Natsu's head moved without his consent. Before he knew it, his eyes shifted to his sandal-ed feet. His face stiff with emotion, he found hismelf scowling at them, like his feet were to blame for his sudden interest in them.

"Why can't you look me in the eye one last time? Why do you all look away?"

He didn't like how empty her voice sounded. He wanted the enthusiasm and trust back. He wanted to hear her laugh, her the happiness ring clear in her voice. He wanted to have the Lucy he fell in love with back. Knowing what he did now, he would give anything to rewind time. He would give up any chance of finding Igneel, or becoming an S class mage. He would even bring Lisanna back to Edolas if it would make things right between him and Lucy again.

He didn't like this.

He didn't like how ashamed of himself he felt.

And Above all, he didn't like the phrase _'one last time_'.

"Do you guys have nothing to say to me?"

_I love you_. Is what he wanted to say. _I need you_. Is what shone in his eyes.

Too bad his eyes were trained on his feet and his mouth had a mind of its own. "Don't leave me." Is what he whispered.

He felt her gaze on him again, and she lapsed into silence. He wondered if she heard him, and prayed that she didn't. Those words, feeble and shallow, meant nothing compared to the feelings tumbling in his chest.

He didn't like that out of all the things he needed to say to her, the only thing he could utter were the words born from his self pity.

A strong burst of salt assaulted his nose. If he wasn't rooted to his spot, the force of the scent would have sent him reeling backwards. His hands went up to cup his nose. It almost felt like he got punched in the face by Gray again. Tilting his head back to get a hold of his senses again, he caught a glimpse of her face.

It was enough to forever scar him. Thick tears trailing down pale cheeks. Tears so big, that the droplets ran down the soft skin of her neck. Wounded brown eyes stared at him, catching his gaze and refusing to let him go. Her bottom lip trapped in between clenched teeth, she trembled.

He _hated_ that he did exactly what he promised himself he would never do. He, out of everyone, knew that she already cried enough tears for the entire guild, and the fact that he caused her something other than happiness killed him.

_Coward_. The word echoed through his mind, taunting him. He couldn't get angry though. Because if he only listened to his friends and family, their warnings, their pleas, then maybe _just maybe_ things could have been different. If he wasn't so busy running away from his conscience, then he could have had a better chance of seeing what Gajeel noticed.

But he was too scared to deal with the consequences. And finally, after a month on the run, they caught up to him. Now he was about to suffer tenfold for his misdeeds, and he couldn't find the strength in him to fight against it because he knew he deserved every angry word, every swear and insult he had coming to him.

"Is anyone curious to here how I found out?" Her tone thick with grief, she grunted her words out. His heart thudded back to life at her question, hands clenching and unclenching with nerves.

No one dared utter a word. He kept his mouth shut, because even if she didn't respond to his earlier comment, he knew she heard him. He couldn't risk saying another stupid thing. Everything seemed so fragile now. One bad step, one wrong word, and she would be gone for good.

_Coward._

Already, with every second passing by, he felt his chance at forever slipping through his fingers like sand. A desperate need to defend himself rose his throat. He had to say _something_ to her. Something that would calm her down. That look in her eye, one of a girl balancing on the brink of insanity, scared him. If he held his silence now he knew he would lose her, that she would teeter right off the edge.

He opened his mouth, sucking in air to speak and...

_coward_.

He kept his silence, just like the rest of his nakama.

"I'll take that as a yes." She grounded out. "I went to a restaurant alone last night, because that's what I like to do, get dressed up, and go out _alone_." Her sarcasm bit in to him. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he watched her eyes zoom in in his. Accusation burned in them, and a heavy feeling settled into his lower stomach, making him feel sick.

He felt like the lowest piece of shit to ever walk the earth.

His eyes shifted to Lisanna for only a moment, and her hands covered her mouth, as realization had dawned on her too. Ironic that they used borrowed time to talk about coming clean, time taken from his date with Lucy. His gaze drifted back to her. _Forever slipping away_.

"I was there for about an hour when a group of six girls sat down at the table behind me. Can you guys guess what they were talking about?"

He didn't like where this was going, like a crash, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He'd never see anyone break the way that Lucy was now, and if it was any other person in any other situation, he would have called it morbid beauty. Pieces of her fell, shattered innocent gave way to hardened awareness. The look on her face steeled into determination. Although tears still dropped onto her face, carving craters into her skin he would never un-see. He was reminded of Erza.

"Fairy Tail, and the latest scandal," she hiccuped, "They talked about Natsu and Lisanna. They said that the rest of the guild helped them hide it from me." She looked to the ceiling, eyes closing for the slightest of moments, "A group of gossiping girls told me the truth, but you guys couldn't?"

Again no one spoke. He always knew that what he did with Lisanna was wrong, but now that he heard it from her, it sounded down right horrendous. They sounded like a bunch of rats, and he was irrevocably the leader.

_Coward._

"How can you guys call yourselves my friends?" She said, voice wavering, "How can you say, with honesty, that you care about me when you can't even look me in the eyes? All last night, I found myself wondering what would have happened if roles were reversed. What would you have done if I was cheating on Natsu? What if Natsu had cheated on Lisanna with me? Would you hold your peace as you are now?"

Silence never felt so uncomfortable.

_Coward._

She opened her eyes, and looked back to her guild mates. Her gaze swept over everyone, and when it landed on him again she paused. "I thought so." She whispered. He figured it was more to herself than anyone else, because he and the other dragon slayers were probably the only other ones that heard her words.

One hand came and griped the necklace she wore around her neck. Natsu remembered the day he bough it for her. The shop keeper had smiled at him with a cunning, knowing look that would have frightened him if he wasn't, in fact, buying jewelry for a girl. Which out of every monster or villian he came up against, doing this was ten times scarier. Because he was putting himself out there with this-emotionally. Even after he paid for the golden heart necklace, the shop keeper teased him. _'Who would have thought I would have _the salamander_ in my shop. The girl must be something special to make_ him _fall for her._'

And she was.

_Forever slipping away_.

Natsu didn't think it was possible, but her tears doubled, and her face distorted with even more pain. With a jerky movement her white clad hand pulled the gold chain away from her neck, breaking it. Somehow he felt like this was symbolic. Like her breaking the necklace was like him breaking his promise...or something smart like that. He didn't know, after out of the two of them Lucy was the writer.

Her eyes never left his as she slowly made her way over to were he stood. She took his hand into hers, the scratchy white gauze rough against his skin. She dropped the necklace into his hand, and he could still feel the heat of her skin locked in the metal. His feet moved, but only a little bit. His toes touched hers, and he flet a bit better about this situation because she didn't recoil from the small touch.

"Natsu…." She rasped. Before she could take her hands away, he tightened his grasp on her. Craving her touch. Needing to feel her. "Y-you made me so happy, and I'm glad I met you. I'll never regret it. I just wish I could have been able to make you happy too." His mouth dropped open. How could she say something so like that to him. He was expecting anger, and swears, and voilence! Not an apology. He gasped for words, but still, he remained speechless.

She yanked her hands away from him, wincing as her injuries hand scraped against his.

_Coward._

"But I guess nothing is forever."

She leaned in closer, clubby hands reaching up to wipe tears away that he wasn't even aware were falling. She looked up with sad eyes, something troubling churning in them. He wished he knew what it meant, what she was trying to tell him. He knew Lucy, and when she gave him looks like that it usually meant she wanted him to do or say something.

_forever slipping away._

In a quick motion, she closed the space between them, her lips grazing the skin of his cheek. He closed his eyes as shivers traveled down his spin, and revived his dead nerves into a frenzy. HE senses that went into hibernation during his time with Lisanna finally woke up and he_ wanted _Lucy. His hands were moving, grasping for skin, for warmth, _for her_. He needed more than just a kiss on the cheek. He leaned forward, intent on capturing her lips and giving her a real kiss after so long of only guilty, sorry excuses of a kiss. When he came up with nothing. His hands came up empty and his lips landed on air. Eyes shot open, greeted by vacant space. He spun around, and saw her walking towards the door.

Something ached inside. He'd watched her leave the guild all month, but it didn't feel like this. This...it seemed almost...final. She paused at the door, and tense moments leaked by. His mouth hung open, works building up behind his tongue. But he could not say them. He looked away from her back for a second, and saw that he was not the only one gaping at her.

When he turned back, the door had been pushed open. He caught the wisps of her blonde hair, and her arm, which had been thrown up in the air, her fingers forming the Fairy Tail farewell gesture. Then the door shut, and the guild was left in silence.

"I love you, I need you. If you walk out of my life I'll have nothing to live for anymore."

The words tumbled out of his mouth, and instead of feeling relieved, which typically he would after saying something he really wanted to say, he felt worse. Why couldn't he have said something like that while she stood in front of him.

_Coward._

Gray's hand clasped down on Natsu's shoulder, and he shoved him into his chair. The dark haired mage towered over Natsu,looking like he could kill. "You say that now? After she left? You're such a fucking idiot. What's wrong with that head of yours, do you know how to use it? Do I have to fucking teach you?"

"I didn't see you saying anything to her either, Gray." Natsu growled.

Gray's hands flew up to his head and fisted in his hair. "That's because she was talking to _you_ the whole time. Dumbass. And all you did was gap at her like a fucking fish. I never understood what she saw in you, she had some many other-better!-options-"

"Like you?" Natsu cut in bitterly, his eyes glaring daggers. His legs shook with aggravation.

"_Yes!_ Like me! Unlike you I would have known what I had, and never, ever, would I have cheated on her!"

Natsu didn't answer because as much as he hated to admit it, Gray was right. Lucy would have been better off with Gray. He would have treated her right.

Some say, that it's better to have learned the hard way than not at all, but Natsu had to beg to differ. He would have rather stayed oblivious to the wonders of love if it meant Lucy would never had gotten hurt.

"It's a same though, because as far as I can see, she's stuck on you." Gray, still looking pretty angry, clicked his tongue.

Natsu's intelligent reply was, "huh?"

"Well, flame brain, I don't think there is much room for me when you guys are _mates_. You know? So, for once, this means you win."

Natsu wasn't sure if he should let the insults go, in favor of whooping for joy. On one hand Gray just called him names, and practically said that he rarely wins against him. One the other hand, it didn't look like Gray wanted to punch his face in anymore, and considering he felt like a freight train just crashed into him, he didn't want to be punched in the face again.

"Uhh, are you going to after her or something. If you think you convinced her to stay with you after that awkward kiss attempt then you're _a lot_ stupider than I thought." Gray crossed his arms, eyebrows raised over his bang line.

Natsu shook his head. "I'll wait until noon. Give her some time to cool off." Gray of all other people should know that Lucy is just as dangerous as Erza when mad. He didn't even want to think of what she was capable of while _this_ upset.

_Coward._

"Man, I think you should go find her now though," The ice mage voice wavered, "It sounded like she was saying good bye."

Natsu slumped into his seat further. "She's my mate, she _can't_ leave."

"What makes you so sure of yourself." Gray crossed his arms, peering down at him in an annoyed fashion.

"It's physically painful, and we all know Lucy's pain tolerance isn't very high."

Gray moved back, turning to walk towards the bar. Some alochol didn't sound so bad right about now..."I think you're underestimating her."

A nagging pain ate away at his stomach, and he didn't like that it seemed to agree with the stupid ice mage.

_Forever slipping away..._

XxXx

Lucy dragged her bags through the front door, slamming it shut behind her, she locked it. Slipping the key into an envelope, she sealed it, and then put it in her mailbox for the landlady to pickup later. Sighing, she wiped at her eyes. She didn't care that she smudged the fresh mascara. She didn't care that her hair never got dried. She didn't care that her clothes were a bit miss matched and baggy.

The only thing she truly cared about didn't care about her in return.

She spun on heels, strutting down the road towards the train station. Despite her confident posture, her eyes watered. She would miss Fairy Tail and the people there more than she missed her own father. They impacted her that much.

Forever she would keep the memories she made with them close to her heart. All the firsts she encountered, all the love, and friendship, and even the hardships, will never be forgotten. She couldn't bring herself to even try because without those lessons, she wouldn't be who she was today. She would take all this in stride and grow from it, just like she did when leaving the mansion. She knew the road ahead of her was long, scary, and unknown, but she'll find her way, just like she did with Fairy Tail.

She hoped that the seconds and thirds that loomed in her future, would be just a thrilling as the first in fairy tail. She looked forward to the even greater memories just waiting to be made. She couldn't wait to make new friends, meet new boys, and join a new guild.

But, she wasn't stupid enough to think that she would find another Natsu. He was one of a kind. Nothing would ever replace him in her heart, he was her first, and will always have that title. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised that even ten years from now she would still hold some deep feelings for him because feelings like these just don't go away.

Like her entire chest was agreeing with her, a searing hot pain careened into her, making her double over and gasp for breath. It spread up her throat, and traveled down into her stomach. Her hands clenched around her bags, her injuries throbbing at the pressure. She gagged, dropping to her knees as tears, not from sadness, but from sheer pain pooled at her eyes. The meager food she ate at her _now old_ apartment splatted onto the pavement, and Lucy straighten, reeling backwards from the nasty smell.

"Last call for ten'o'clock departure. Five minutes until station is emptied." The announcer boomed over the loud speaker. Wiping her mouth with the side of her arm, she grimaced refusing to look at the discolored stain that would surely be there.

She hobbled over to the ticket stand, hunched over. With every step she took the pain tripled, and she hunched over again, but this time she only heaved. Probably because she had nothing left to throw up in her system.

"Miss, are you ok?" The ticket seller asked. Lucy nodded. "I-I am. Can I get a ticket for this -t-train?"

The woman looked at her, eyes narrowed in worry. "I don't think it's a good idea to go one a train right now Miss. You just threw up over there." The whistle of the train blew, and Lucy jumped.

She had to get on that train, she had to get out of herebefore someone came looking for her because if they did-especially if it was _him_-she wouldn't be able to leave. She would be stuck in this...hell, living a life she already ran away from once. She had to get on with her life, so that the people she loved here could move on in their lives as well. She didn't care if it killed her, she was going to get on this train. Even if she had to maul this young woman for her ticket. (That is, if she could muscle up the strength to attack her without decapitating herself in the processes, what the hell was happening to her?)

"I-I have severe m-motion sickness, just the thought of moving objects m-makes me ill. I'm not actually s-sick."

"You mean like the salamander from Fairy Tail...wait...aren't you the blonde girl in his team...weren't you like dating him or something?"

Lucy sighed. Why couldn't anything be easy. She shifted, wincing when the burning feeling spiked with her movement. "Yeah, I-I have to catch this train though." She griped her stomach, which twisted in pain. The sale clerk eyed her hand, and like she realized something. Her dark eyes flashed to her face, and she frown sympathetically. _Did everyone freakin' know about what happened with Lisanna BUT_ me?

"Right away. I'm sorry about what happened with the other girl." She stamped a ticket and passed it through the opening in the glass, "Oh, and take care of the baby!" She winked at Lucy, and Lucy just stared, wide eyed.

"Uh...thanks..." Lucy turned, and made her way to the train, ticket crumbled in hand. Each step sent shock waves of burning heat from her feet up, and by the time she boarded the train and collapsed onto a seat a thick layer of sweat coated her entire body.

_Baby?_ God. She could only imagine the types of rumors that were going to fly in her wake. She knew there was no possibility of her being pregnant because for that to happen one needs to have sex. In that one way, Lucy remains innocent, even after two years of dating the same guy.

The train lurched forward, and with every foot the train moved the more the pain in her body intensified. She felt consciousness slipping away, and funny enough, she found herself thinking of Natsu and Lisanna. Even when stricken by possibly life threatening illness she finds strength to think of Natsu. Go figure.

But she supposed, that it made sense. That this proved her love for him. Because if she wasn't sure she had to move far far _far _ away from Mognolia for Natsu to be Happy with Lisanna, then she would have crawled back home and suffered alone in her bed.

Even now, after he hurt her so severely, she looked out for his well being, and if it meant that she would suffer for the remainder of her life, then so be it.

As long as he was happy, she would be too. She would make the best of the situation.

Then her eyes drifted closed, and she fell into a shallow, pain induced sleep, the 'chugging' of the train engine her lullaby.

_Forever slipping through his hands..._

End of Part One


	7. Intermission I

_Previously on Falling Of Rooftops:_

_**After Lucy found out about Natsu and Lisanna's secret relationship, she gets her Fairy Tail mark removed after speaking with Master Makarov, confronts her friends and loved ones, and tells them about her experience at the restaurant the night prior. But when silence only answers her questions and stories, she spills her inner thoughts and regrets to Natsu in front of the entire guild. **_

_**Natsu watches Lucy leave, unable to call after her. Gray then comments on how similar Lucy's words sounded to a good bye. Although he is afraid he'll lose the only mate he'll find, he chooses to wait a bit to let her cool down. This was the last time he saw Lucy.**_

_**Lucy leaves town with little to no regret, as even the young woman working the ticket booth knew of Natsu's cheating. Ridden with a mysterious pain, Lucy orders a ticket for the next train out. The ticket woman comments on her illness and falsely concludes that Lucy must be pregnant.**_

_**Although Lucy is happy to get away from the town that will surely be ridden with rumors, her future scares her. She has a sickening feeling that her sudden illness will not go away with time, and without knowing where she was going and what was going to happen next, Lucy looks to the future with hesitance. **_

This was originally going to be posted as one humongous chapter as a 'sorry for being really mean and not updating', but it's at a whooping **12,200 words** and I'm only a little over half way done with final edits, and that is just way too big for one chapter. I'll still post a big chunk though! I really wanted to post it tonight, so I will. The first 5,000 words or so. I will be **updating every****Saturday, Tuesday, and maybe Thursday if I'm really feeling the love ;) So review, it might be worth your while! The combined total of 20 or more reviews for the Saturday and Tuesday updates will get the THURSDAY UPDATE.**

_This chapter is going to be written in a very different style, as all of the events happening in this section will be told in the fashion of a road trip. Only the important parts will be shared. I repeat, the style of writing for this chapter will be different from my norm!_

* * *

><p><strong>Intermission:<strong>

**Year One: Month 1-3**

The streets and people were blurring in and out of focus as she stumbled down the crowded sidewalk. People walked around her, none attempting to help, but every one of them starring. She leaned heavily on the wall of a building, hands clutching at her stomach. If Lucy didn't know any better she would have said she'd been shot. The pain that she had grown to call a 'heat wave' due to the hot, searing ache was that bad. Most of the time, the heat wave would dwindle into an uncomfortably hot ache, but this one was different. Her feet dragged, pain splashing throughout her system with every single step she took. Edges of worried comments pushed themselves through the pounding in her ears.

_I've never seen that girl around. She's not looking so good._

_She looks about ready to pass out._

_I wonder if she gets sea sick or something._

So wasn't really sure how she got here because the majority of her memories seemed to merge into one gooey glob that was shaded with fevers, intense heat waves, and ridiculous nightmares. The earliest she could remember was after she got off at the last stop before the train returned to Magnolia. The city was called Farlock. She remembered that for whatever reason, it wasn't like she stayed in that town for any length of time. The heat waves were less agonizing when she was walking so she was consistently on the move. She kept off the beaten path, avoiding human contact until she got far enough away. She had to be sure a Fairy Tail wizard wouldn't be able to find her. It must have been a subconscious decision, but she also avoided towns, and people, and any type of vehicles to make her that much harder to locate.

It was a grueling and taxing life style, making her already long days that much more difficult. It wasn't the fact that she had a hard time holding herself up at times. She knew the decision to avoid towns (food, water, rest) would have that effect. Not to mention the stronger heat waves. She refused to let her fatigue get the best of her. After missions with her _old_ team, her _old_ friends used to return to the guild like that often. If they could do it she could. If Natsu could, she could.

It wasn't the mystery of the heat waves that made day time so daunting. When they hit, she wasn't wondering about them. She was trying to get them to go away. She tried her best not to think about them when they weren't around because whenever she did, it would trigger one.

No, it wasn't the hardships that made life tough for her. It was her own thoughts, her regrets.

More so than not, during the day she found herself mapping out scenarios in which things were different. Like what would have happened if she caught on to Natsu and Lisanna's little relationship sooner. Or if she had lingered around Magnolia for just one more day. Would he have found her and apologized? Would he break down and cry like all those many times she did?

She didn't know, which made everything that much harder for her.

What if she was putting her self through this for nothing? At the time, leaving seemed like a great idea. But now, miles away from where she used to call home, she couldn't help but feel homesick.

Nights were just as hard, but for different reasons. When she sat down to relax a heat wave would burn through her body and keep her awake for the majority of the night. The pain was unbearable, so bad, that by the first lights of dawn she would wonder how she managed to survive it. It was like Natsu breathed the most potent of his fire into her body, and whenever she was in need of down time, or she wasn't thinking about him, the fire would make sure he was on her mind by burning her insides to a crisp.

It was almost magic. When the sun rose, the heat wave dulled, and she would be moving again to make sure it stayed like that.

What might have been a couple of nights like those passed, and she finally clasped onto the ground from exhaustion. Lucky for her, she just crossed a road, her aimless wandering bringing her to a touch of civilization in her travels. She couldn't say she didn't see the collapse coming. She ran out of supplies a day ago. Hadn't slept in god knows how long. And was walking in midday heat on a tarred road. It was only a matter of time before her body overpowered her mind.

It was during this bout of unconsciousness that she decided that the heat waves paled in comparison to the twisted recesses of her mind. Her dreams spit back all her fears and dreads. She saw images of young, white haired fire breathers. A smiling Natsu with an arm around Lisanna. Cold stares of her nakama. Tabloid headlines.

She woke up with a scream in her throat. But she swallowed it with it squeak of surprise. She was in the back of a bumpy carriage. A woman of about twenty five sat next to Lucy, a wet cloth in one hand, and a jug of water by her leg. Her name was Karen. Lucy liked her a lot, and although she doesn't remember much about the girl besides a large blue hat and huge scar on her face, the girl made a everlasting impression on her.

They reached a town that smelled of salt and water in a couple days. It was small. Lucy thanked Karen and her husband (She doesn't remember his name) for the ride and food before she went her own way.

A little bit after that she found herself in a cheap motel talking to one of the employees at the front desk. She learned she was in a town called Cresten. It was one of the only towns in all of Fiore that offered transportation to the colonies that belonged to the magic council. She also found out she was approximately two weeks-by train-away from Fairy Tail.

This made her realize that she had no idea how long she'd been away. No idea of a date. Not to mention her spirits. She hadn't summoned a single one since she left. Truth be told, they hadn't even crossed her mind, and it surprised her that Loke hadn't forced his way out yet. She scoffed under her breath, maybe her angry, bitter thoughts of Natsu and Lisanna scared him away. Or maybe it was her sadness over her friends.

She never did get a proper good bye from her resident book worm.

She paid the man with hesitance. She hoped she had enough money to buy a boat ride to the colonies after that. Deciding not to worry about it now, she retreated to her room. Pulling her keys out, she summon Loke. The lion spirit was frantic with worry as he took her in his arms, Lucy resigned herself to a night of terrors and heat flashes as she crawled into the lumpy bed of the motel. But at least she wasn't alone.

The next morning, she told Loke she wouldn't be summoning him very often because the heat waves made her body weak. Using magic was now a chore. He frowned, but accepted it.

_If it keeps you safe, I'll agree to anything Lucy. But if you need anything, I'll be there. Your reliable prince in shining armor!_

Giving her one last hug, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. His words put a smile on her face. She looked at her pack. No food. No water. Just a couple pairs of clothes, some money, and some personal items. Dumping it onto the bed, she took her jacket stuffed her extra underwear and her set of zodiac keys into one zipper pocket and the remainder of the money into the other. She picked up a picture that was halfway tucked under her extra bra.

Her and the entire guild were standing in front of the Fairy Tail building. She stood in front of the group next to Natsu, smile so innocent and happy it made her feel sick to her stomach. To the Behind Natsu stood Erza looking stern as ever. Behind Lucy stood Gray, shirtless like always. He had a hand on her shoulder. It was before Juvia came into the picture, so at the time she wasn't worrying about being murdered later on in the day by the water mage.

Lucy started to tremble, the picture shaking in her hands. Tears trailed down her cheeks, dripping onto the photo and leaving stains.

Exhaling, she walked over to the desk and grabbed the pen off it. Flipping the photo over, she scrawled down a message for the cleaning lady. She didn't really want to leave the photo, but if she broke down to tears every time she saw it what good was having it with her?

The note she scrawled was informing the maid that the clothes on the bed were for her because she couldn't carry them with her no longer. The girl looked about the same size, so she figured they would fit her.

She left the room, and the photo, behind.

Today she'll hunt down the cheapest ride to the colonies.

If someone was looking for her, they would have a hard time finding her there. She was sure of it.

* * *

><p>She spent the remaining bit of her money on the ticket. Once on the boat Lucy realized that the constant movement of the vessel eased the heat waves, and chased the night terrors away. The boat itself was tiny. It could fit maybe three people minus the captain (who she vaguely remembered to be really creepy). She and a really large man were the only passengers this trip. She never said anything to him. The day it took to get to the first colony was spent in complete silence. She only moved off her spot on the floor a couple times to relieve herself.<p>

She ate little more than bread, as it upset her stomach.

Her time awake was spent watching the sky and waves. Her mind wandering from its normal thoughts about Natsu and the others to odder topics (What would it be like to be a fish?) as the sun brought weariness upon her. It was in this state of mind that the waves relaxed her into a thoughtless, hazy (almost sleepy) state. She liked that because it felt like she could actually breathe. Almost like nothing was holding her down.

Of course, the little detail about her travel partners not knowing a thing about her (her past, her name, her sadness) could have had something to do with that too. She was just a girl to them. Lucy liked that. For once in her life, she was anonymous.

At night fall, she slept peacefully, which put her in a pretty good mood the day the rickety boat docked at the colony. She gave the creepy captain a good tip as she got off the boat, even if he didn't exactly deserve it.

* * *

><p>She made it about halfway through Willington, the first town in the Northern most colony before her first heat wave of the day hit her. This one was crimpling. She was happy, and gleeful for the first time since she left Fairy Tail, so when the sudden surge of heat began wrecking havoc on her stomach it caught her so off guard she cried out.<p>

This brought her to her current situation. The only thing that registered in her mind was that she needed to find a safe place to sit down and wait this particular heat wave out. Otherwise, she feared she'd faint again.

Right about now, she was regretting her less than hearty meals on the boat. Her energy was dwindling fast, and the road curb was so close. Just a couple more steps and—

The sidewalk slipped from underneath her foot, and her body was tumbling. Her vision blackened out before she hit the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Year One: Month 3-5<strong>

The steady sound of beeping machinery faded in and out of her conscious thoughts. She felt like she was floating. Her fingers felt fat, her head huge. Shapes formed in front of her, and she thought that if they were real, they should be much smaller than what they are now. A warm darkness surrounded her, and she wondered.

About what, she was not sure of.

But either way, she wondered.

A dull poking sensation penetrated her arm. In an unknown amount of time the beeping machinery transitioned into nothing.

* * *

><p>She was still wondering. But this time, <em>about things<em>.

Like whom she was, and how she knew she was a she. Did she have a name? Was she even living?

How long has it been?

Where was she?

And for the love of whatever holly, what was that eternal beeping noise?

* * *

><p>It took a bit, but the poking feeling in her arm went from being uncomfortable to being a relief. Sometimes, while she was wondering, something would happen. She would feel like she was falling deeper into the nothing. Hopelessness would grip her, along with a dull ache in her abdomen. It was the odd pain that would have her on the verge of remembering something. She got the feeling that who ever she was didn't want her to recall anything.<p>

Then the poke would come and everything would go away.

It was times like these that she preferred the nothing to the wondering.

* * *

><p><strong>Year One: Month 5<strong>

The nothing trembled, and she began wondering more feverously than she has in….forever. Her head hurt. Her fingers felt normal. The dull ache from before felt real. Her nothing was shattering.

The beeping was loud.

* * *

><p>The room was white. Walls, sheets, table, floor, clothes, all white. Too white, too clean, too pure. She felt out of place in the pristine setting.<p>

She didn't dare look to her own body, for fear it wouldn't be there. She knew it was irrational, but she just couldn't look down.

So she closed her eyes and waited.

"You're name is Lucy Heartifilia, miss." She made the nurse repeat it for the utmost time.

"You are in the town of Willington. A civilian found you passed out on the sidewalk on the middle of town. He brought you here, and we put you in a medicine induced coma until we could figure out what had you in such terrible pain."

"How did you know I was in pain?" She asked for the third time that day.

"You told the doctor."

"Did you find anything?" She asked for the first time that day.

"Other than the massive amount of unnatural heat pooling in your stomach, no. We have not yet found out what has caused the build up. So we woke you."

"I figured as much. I think it is about time I was discharged then." Lucy said for the first time.

She was surprised that the nurse agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>Year Two<strong>

The remainder of her first year consisted of traveling. Her heat waves were atrocious and hard to deal with. Sometimes, they were so strong she would drop at the beginning of one. She almost lived in hospitals. She would hold out just to get to another town, and then pass out the day of her arrival. During her time out, she would cherish the sleep, even as Natsu tainted as it was. She woke up in hospital beds. Ate their food, Drank their water. Let them clean her soiled clothing. By then, no doctors kept her for over a month as word spread over the colony about her strange illness. They would send her on her way with a medical bill to pay, and sadness in her chest every time. At least her stomach had been filled though.

Before she left town, she would do something small. Like clean a house for a couple days to make just enough many to pay the bill. After, she'd be onto the next one.

She suspected that this hospital wouldn't offer her any different of an outcome.

The nurses began to mold into one, stereotypical person. But this one she remembered. She was tall, and strict looking. Her name tag read Qara. She frowned down on the packet in her hands. "It says here that nothing was found wrong with you, and that you are to be released." Her voice was deep for a woman, and something told Lucy that she did not agree with what the papers told her.

Lucy didn't answer. Looking down she focused on the heat becoming more promenade again. She estimated another couple days before a heat wave hit her full force again. Now, after dealing with the waves for a little over a year, she could time them. Because of this, she no longer went to hospitals for treatment in hopes of being cured. She threw that hope to the wind after the seventh doctor turned her loose. Now she went for the shower, the bed, the food. That and the drugs were pretty good too.

Sitting up, she looked to the nurse. "Where are my shoes?"

* * *

><p>The rest of her second year was spent like that. Instead of settling down and getting a job like she expected to, she spent her time traveling, calming a different hospital home every month. When one released her, she would start all over again. Finding food where she could. Finding sleep wherever she dropped.<p>

Her life was pretty monotonous.

* * *

><p><strong>Year Three:<strong>

The New Year began with a different approach to her heat waves. A doctor had given her enough money to purchase a ticket to the colony specializing in medicine. Lucy stumbled her way into the second northern colony, and into the port town of Avery. This town was renowned for healing according to the elderly lady on the ferry that carried Lucy here. The late winter weather was bitter, especially on the ship and the older woman had taken pity on Lucy and given her a blanket.

Then she proceeded to talk her head off for the duration of the couple hour ride.

Apparently, the old woman was traveling to Avery because of medicine. Her back was killing her.

Lucy hurried off the ship once it stopped eager to escape the kind, but way too talkative lady in hopes of some peace and quiet.

The first thing she did was go to a magic healer. Although the girl who served her had dark purple hair and bright eyes, she was small. Lucy was reminded of Wendy. After the unsuccessful healing session Lucy hurried from the office, fighting back tears.

She missed her family. She missed her best friend. She missed her sisterly figures, and her close-enough-to-brothers.

Above all, she missed _him. _She would give anything to see his face again. To bathe in the shine of his smile, and be blessed with his laughter.

Crouching in an icy alley, she buried her face into her arms. To anyone else it looked like a girl hiding from the cold winter wind. No one bothered to see if she was alright. She didn't expect them too.

Because she was a stranger.

Warm laughter echoed through the alley, bouncing off the walls. Lucy's head snapped up at the familiar sound, her eyes wide. There was no one there.

_Natsu…. _

That laugh, it sounded so real. So wanted it so bad.

She wanted to go back home.

From then on, sometimes, she would think she heard his voice. His cheery chuckle. His greetings. His nicknames for her. And she would get so happy and turn around with his name on her lips only to see no one there.

She vowed to never go to another magic healer again.

* * *

><p>She heard his voice again. Lately the realistic sounds were turning up everywhere. Just like the other times, she turned around just for the sake of doing it. She knew he wasn't there. He never was.<p>

But this time, she saw spiky pink hair, and a tan scarf. Her heart jumped into her throat, and she just stared. His back was turned, so she couldn't tell.

But it looked exactly like him from behind.

Before she knew it she was running, his name bubbling in her throat. She was ducking and weaving, and there was tears running down her face because _he found her_.

She clasped his shoulder. Her dirty fingers clawing into the red jacket he wore. She shouted his name, a smile so wide on her face it hurt.

_Natsu!_

He turned around, and a guy that certainly wasn't Natsu snarled at her, telling her to go back to the box she crawled out of. Granted, she must have looked like a beggar. Ratted, greasy hair. Dirty face, worn, ripped clothing. She looked hideous. Like this man who wasn't Natsu said, she fit the profile of someone who had crawled out of a box.

She ran from him. Sad tears replaced the happy, wails of heartbreak forcing their way out of her mouth. She ducked out of the way of pedestrians and into a seclude part of the city. Along with the emotional rage a strong heat wave passed over her as she cowered in a corner, knocking her out. Even in her lucidness, she felt the string of the fire, and it was then that she began to wonder if Natsu was suffering like this too, and if he thought about her as often as she thought about him.

* * *

><p>She woke up in a bright room. Sunlight filtered in through the open widow, bright blue curtains pushed to frame the clean glass. White bed sheets tucked her in, and there was this oh so familiar beeping noise of the hospital monitor. Yet again, she landed herself into a hospital.<p>

But this one was different. The walls, instead of the white she became so used to seeing, were a pale calming yellow color as an alternative. Three nurses were conversing in the center of the room, in between the two hospital beds. The one across from Lucy was occupied by an older sleeping fellow.

One of the nurses, the only female of the bunch, was playing with a flame in between her fingers. It was blue like the sky, and Lucy smiled fondly at her.

Since her travels began, magic lessen as a priority in her life. Every once in a while, she would make contact with Loke to reassure him that she was doing alright, but other than those rare times, she avoided magic, and put effort into keeping Loke's forced summoning at a minimum. Especially when a guild was nearby because in her travels she came to realize that celestial wizards were not as common as in Fiore, and many guild members were out scouting for them in the colonies.

She returned her attention to the nurses and soon after they noticed her. All three of them hurried to introduce themselves. The girl came up to Lucy first, her fire put out, but her smile wide. She had short, stringy, light blonde hair that was cute in a cute boyish bob with one chunk of hair falling down the middle of her forehead in place of bangs. She was petite, much smaller than Lucy herself. Her friendly grayish eyes greeted her, as if welcoming her to the hospital. Her name was Rea, and she was her main nurse for the stay.

The other two nurses were tall and broad. One-Edge- had sleek light brown hair, and a pretty smile. The other- Mitch-had hay colored hair. He had a pair of thick glasses over his dark eyes. He seemed sterner than the other man.

The two male nurses were called to another room to attend to _their actual patients and not hers _as Rea had sarcastically put it. The nurse explained the agenda for Lucy's stay. The doctor from the other colony that referred her to here had contacted many of the hospitals in the immediate area telling them about Lucy's condition. Rea, a bit sadly, admitted that like the other hospitals, this one had yet to find the source of the issue. But unlike the others, the staff here was very determined to help Lucy. Rea assured her that she was allowed to stay as long as she needed, and with minimum cost.

Lucy tried a friendly smile, but it was more of a grimace. Standing up, Rea rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, saying that she came in here to refill the I.V. with pain medicine for her but her two friends distracted her.

After she gave Lucy more medicine Rea excused herself. Promising another visit around lunch time, the short girl bounced out of the room.

Despite Lucy's stoic silence throughout the entire conversation, the small blonde seemed eager for noon time, and Lucy couldn't help but feel the same way.

Something in Lucy changed that day.

* * *

><p>Lucy found out that Edge and Mitch had a thing for Rea pretty early on in her stay. They were always complimenting her, and fighting over who should help her. But Rea seemed pretty obvious to it all.<p>

No matter how many times Mitch would take on Rea's night time shifts with Lucy so the girl could get some sleep, Rea would just smile and hug him before leaving. She was completely oblivious of the stares Mitch would give her behind her back. Longing reflected in his dark eyes, and as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, he would sigh, sadness evident in the slump of his usually square shoulder. To Lucy, it looked like Mitch was beginning to accept his feelings for Rea, and that they wouldn't be returned anytime soon.

But Edge was a different story. He once commented to Lucy while alone with her that he though he had a better chance with Rea over Mitch because he was a mage too. He could spar with her when she was bored or angry, and Mitch couldn't do that as he didn't have a drop of magic in his body. Edge would talk in length about his air magic, and after a small demonstration, Lucy agreed that it was impressive. Instead of controlling the air currents around him, like must air mages, he focused on making waves out of it. He was an air mage with the mentality of a water wage.

Then, after that visit from Edge, Lucy went into a depression that took Rea fifteen minutes to drag her out of because she began wondering about Juvia. Did she ever get together with Gray?

One thing that Lucy really liked about Rea was her respect. No matter how many times she found Lucy crying, or screaming in her sleep (because medicine didn't help her night terrors at all), Rea never asked about it. She would sit down beside her, hold her hand with one hand, and show Lucy a new trick with her fire to calm her down.

Little did she know that the only reason the blue fire helped Lucy because it made her think of happier times involving Macao, Natsu, Happy and a young Romeo. That and a perverted monkey.

Sighing, Lucy blinked herself back to reality, looking around her room. It was empty save for the sleeping old man in the bed next to her (she hoped he was actually sleeping). There was a vision lacrama strapped to the ceiling, and it was projecting images of the local guild. They weren't anything like Fairy Tail. Where her old guild was rowdy, those people were proper. Fairy Tail was aggressive and proactive, they were timid and hesitant.

Her hospital bed was by the window, and she decided that watching the snow fall outside would be better than thinking about her old home. Morning light illuminated the raging storm, highlighting strong winds and heavy snow lights. It was roughly nine in the morning, and Lucy was expecting Rea to come take her to her morning tests at any moment. The shorter blonde walked in through the door a couple minutes after, and she looked distraught. Lucy sat up, alarmed. Rea was a cheerful person, always smiling and giggling, and talking.

The girl solemnly made her way to Lucy and began fixing her I.V, mouth glued shut. Lucy detected the faint glitter of tears in her eyes, and sighed. In her time knowing Rea- about a month-they hadn't talked about anything serious. Really, there conversations were silly. Just Rea trying to get a smile out of Lucy.

But good things never last forever. Lucy knew _that_ from experience.

So she asked about it as Rea began getting a wheel chair ready. The other blonde had frozen mid stride, freezing up like ice. Clasping onto the railing at the end of her body, her other hand wiped her eyes to keep the tears at bay. After a little insistence, Rea cracked and spilled all her inner turmoil into the open. Lucy found out that instead of being oblivious, like she thought Rea was, the light haired nurse was actually quite aware of her friend's feelings and was tiring to ignore them. She sniffled as she said that Mitch was beginning to lay off the flirting, but Edge had gotten worse. So bad, that he started taunting Mitch about it.

Apparently Rea had an older brother than volunteered here sometimes to play with the children in the intensive care unit. He was on his way towards the play area for the less contagious and more active children, lingering behind the door that entered the hallway behind the check-in counter when things turned sour between him and her two love struck friends.

Rea took some time to describe her brother, and from what Lucy picked up from it, the guy was very protective of her. To the point of forcing her to move in with him when she was twelve (Rea said she was 22 now) because their dad started to drink a lot after the death of their older sister and mother.

She said a rogue mage killed them, and ever since her father loathed anything about magic. Her brother- eighteen at the time- had already moved into the city for work, and didn't have to worry about his magic skills setting off their magic-less father. But she was young and stuck with him. He was an abusive drunk.

Rea had scars on her hands to prove it. On a particularly bad night, he tried to 'drain' the magic out of her through her hands. He took broken beer bottle shards to do it. He had gotten angry when all he saw was blood, and proceeded to smack her for being a disgrace to _his_ family name.

Her brother visited her in the hospital, and vowed to get her out of that house. It was because of that stay at the hospital that she decided she liked the idea of helping injured people. By the age of eighteen, she had become an apprentice of the head nurse in this hospital, and she hadn't looked back.

Lucy had looked down at her own scared hands. Their story was not nearly as sad and twisted as Rea's, but she could still remember the glass shards and blood from that faithful night like it happened yesterday instead of three years ago.

Once again, Rea looked, but didn't ask. She just continued on with her story, apologizing for getting off track.

She said that Edge and Mitch were arguing in the hallway closest to the check-in counter, the same one her brother most have been near. Rea wasn't sure about what, but her brother (Lucy never did get a name) over heard something he didn't like. Rea came around the corner to greet her brother, and so him beating the crap out of her friends. With the combination of his martial arts skills and his fairly competent fire magic (Rea boasted that she was a better mage than him, and always had been) her friends didn't stand a chance.

She shared that she hated seeing her friends hurt, and her brother angry. The waterworks came again as she told Lucy that she thought Mitch and Edge had gone too far.

Lucy offered to say something to them when they came around to check up on her later on today (because despite them not being her nurses, they seemed to worry about her as much as Rea).

Rea paused, but after a bit of convincing agreed because she didn't think she could say something to them. In fact, she tried once, but they took it the completely wrong way.

And just like that, Rea was laughing again, and things were better.

By the end of their conversation (which left Rea feeling much better), they'd missed the time slot for Lucy's morning testing.

They laughed about the doctor's outraged reaction for weeks after that.

* * *

><p>A couple weeks after that incident, Lucy found herself laughing more. After Rea opened up to her, she felt like she could trust the girl, and that she wasn't just another pretty face trying to make Lucy forget about her problems. No, she was a girl with her own problems, and genuinely cared about others. And with the help of the effects of the medicine settling into her system, and a couple good friends at her side she was beginning to forget about her heat waves. Even the demons that came with them. For the first time in three years, Lucy was happy. She felt like she had a home.<p>

Who would have thought she would find that in a hospital of all places.

But deep down they were bittersweet friendships because she knew from the very beginning that they would only last so long. Not because she would eventually leave, which she would.

But because Rea loved to read, but hated writing. She loved the smell of ink, but hated pens. She was bubbly and small, but liked stern, bulky men. Not to mention her group of two drooling friends.

Rea was like another Levy, Mitch and Edge like another Jet and Droy.

* * *

><p>6,491 without word breaks.<p>

TBC


	8. Intermission II

_**Previously:**_

_**Lucy finally finds herself a steady place to live after three years of lonely travel, horrible living conditions, and frequent heat waves and night terrors. Now residing in the hospital of the port town Avery, she meets Rea, her new nurse, and her nursing friends Mitch and Edge. They assure her that they are determined to relieve her of her illness, no matter what it takes.**_

**I just wanted to say thank you for the positive support! For chapter seven alone I received 11-awesome (flail worthy-no seriously-you guys had me giggling and rolling around on my bed) reviews. That's only nine more for the early update of Thursday! You guys are awesome, and I wanna tell you guys that every review was greatly appreciated!**

* * *

><p><strong>Year Four:<strong>

The seasons changed, and it was spring. Lucy was feeling antsy. It had been months since she last had a heat wave, and she was feeling like she could take on the freakin' world. As long as she had Rae, Mitch, and Edge by her side, things were manageable. Although staying put in the hospital bed was getting more and more difficult by every hour. If it wasn't for her friends, she probably would have jumped out of her skin by now. When Rea smiled, the brightness chased away her demons and made her feel like the last couple years were just a bad dream. When Edge told her funny stories of his charmed childhood, she found herself laughing along with him. When Mitch sat down and read her the news paper every day, she stopped ignoring him in order to think about other (depressing) things, and actually took interest in the articles he chose.

And like the blue fire Rea could summon to her hands, Lucy found herself wondering about her own magic again. Little by little, the urge to use her keys began to become more insistent. Although she didn't have her keys on her person, they were locked away in a safe with the rest of the belongings she brought with her until she was released. So those were out of her reach for now. Patients were not allowed to use magic.

Only Rea knew she was a mage. Lucy asked her to keep it a secret from the others, and like all the other cases, Rea agreed, no questions asked. She didn't even question the type of magic Lucy used.

She twitched in her bed, her legs wiggling. She wanted to use her magic, rules be damned. And a couple weeks ago she learned how to without her keys. Rea had gone home sick with a fever, and took a week off to recover. Mitch and Edge still visited once a day each, even after Lucy told them off for their behavior towards Rea, but that didn't fill the void that Rea left.

One night, while she was avoiding sleep, she concentrated all her awareness and magic into the thought of her spirits. She reached her magic out, concentration on making a manifestation of her inner power.

She visualized a string, one end hooked up to her, the other just lingering. She used her magic to lengthen the string until suddenly it was pulled taunt. Then she swore she felt a vibration.

Imagine her surprise when Loke's voice appeared in her head.

Since then, she had done it a couple times successfully, another handful not so successful. But nine times out of time she could reach someone. Usually Loke, Virgo, or Ares.

This time was no different. The more she did it, the easier it got.

_Lucy, I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?_

A ghost of a smile spread across her lips at Loke's crisp voice. _Better, a lot better. I made some friends, and my heat waves are getting better. I don't think they're gone though. Oh, and I think I've finally found myself a best friend after all this time!_

Loke tugged at his end of the string. She couldn't visualize him, even when she closed her eyes. Alls he saw was the vague outlines of his words.

_Ah, that's good. _

Lucy nodded_. Yes it is. I finally have someone to tell, Loke. Someone I can trust besides you guys._

Loke didn't say anything, but she could tell he was a fluttery feeling, the connection broke. He must have noticed that her magic was draining fast. She suspected that doing that with her spirits took a lot more energy that actually summoning them. Probably because that involved connecting though astral plains. That was a far harder connection to make than simply opening a door for them with a pre-made key.

She slumped down into her pillow rolling over onto her side in favor of watching the door. She really needed to see Rea. She was ready to tell her all the things she has held back for so long. She'd kept her secrets for far too long, and now, it was time to share her burden with someone else. Maybe that would help with the night terrors and the overwhelming loneliness when no one's around. Maybe, a moment of vulnerability-no walls what so ever-was what she needed.

Besides, Rea had shared so much with her. It was time Lucy returned the favor.

Today Lucy would let Rea know that hardship wasn't picky, and placed itself upon anyone without much of a notice.

The weight of her past was so heavy on her shoulders. She was about to burst. If Rea wasn't around, she didn't know what she would do, her roommate, a grumpy old man who wasn't a keen talker, wouldn't have given her the time of day to vent even if she tried. She once attempted to strike up a casual conversation on one of her better days, and he pretty much told her to shut up within the first couple minutes of small talk.

She hasn't talked to him since.

And the boys, Edge and Mitch, were nice enough and were among the group that helped her most on her journey thus far, but they didn't seem like proper candidates for this section.

Only her little blonde nurse could fit this particular slot.

As if on cue, the little blonde nurse strode in with breakfast and a smile. Lucy sat up in bed, the IV cord attached to her arm dragging across the sheets as she moved. Rea stopped at the grumpy old man to hand him his tray of food.

The man didn't even say thank you.

Then Rea was by Lucy's bedside, handing over her tray of food, and usually Lucy wouldn't hesitate to dig in to the grub because if her years of traveling hadn't taught her anything, it taught her that every meal was a privilege, not a right.

She took a bite of her croissant instead and motioned for Rea to sit down. They talked about odd things at first as Lucy waited for the grumpy man's nurse to take him away for his bath and cleaning.

As soon as he was out of the room, she dove into her story. Every tragic detail of it.

Except two thing. One of them she purposely left out: Fairy Tail. The other detail was Natsu. She never revealed the name of her ex-boyfriend. She tried, but just couldn't get the name past her chapped lips. After fumbling over the syllables she moved on, pretending that she forgot where she was going with that sentence. Rea didn't seem convinced.

But life goes on, and Rea never asked.

* * *

><p>A week after her conversation with Rea had Lucy sitting with the children of the intensive care unit. They were playing a game of cards-go fish to be more exact. As Lucy waited for her turn, she reflected on the conversation.<p>

Rea didn't have much to say about her situation other than that she probably would have done the same, and that they were in the wrong. She said that 'you can't trust everyone you meet, and sometimes even the people that you hold closest to your heart betray you in the end. It's part of life, and you can't change it."

Lucy didn't comment, so Rea changed the subject to Lucy's condition. She said she wished Lucy told her the truth behind her current situation earlier because a lot more could have been done for her. She suspected that the heat in her stomach was the result of built up negative emotion, which is common in distressed mages. She had seen a case once before when she first became a trained nurse. It wasn't nearly as bad as this, but Rea was fairly sure that Lucy was suffering from that. She also shared that no amount of healing or medicine could cure it. It was something that had to be resolved y the person themselves. In Lucy's case, she probably had to come to term with her painful memories and get on with her life.

Rea took one of Lucy's hands, gray eyes scanning the various cuts. She didn't say anything, but Lucy knew she was wondering how something like tiny shards of glass could leaves scars that bad. Lucy answered honestly, she didn't take care of the small wounds like she should have. She got the chips of glass out, put some antibiotics on it, and then forgot about it.

Rea nodded.

Knowing her past seemed to put everything in perspective for Rea, and she said that as of today, she was going to fight to get her a mobile IV wrack so she didn't have to be stuck in this boring room any longer than she already had been. Her argument was that for her newly figured out condition, fun and freedom was what she needed to get a move on in the right direction.

Lucy couldn't have agreed anymore.

A bit later in the week, Rea asked if Lucy liked children. Lucy replied that she did.

The next thing she knew, Lucy was being carted to the children's play area to spend time with them. When they got to the door of the sector, Rea paused, leaning forward to whisper in Lucy's ear. She shared that she understood her need for a distraction from her problems. That being in a hospital for over a year had given her enough time to brood over her old life.

And that she needed a little help finding something to kick start the beginning of her new life. A good distraction.

So Rea said she'd give her one.

* * *

><p>By the time she met him, Lucy had become really close to the children. She knew them all by name: Lou, Tara, Brittany, Savanah, Dekker, Colin, and Kate where the ones she knew the best. They were the first group that came over to talk to her.<p>

They were drawing on the chalkboard when the door from behind 'dinged!' announcing a new comer into the children sector.

The child dropped their chalk onto the ground and ran to the door as it opened, screaming and laughing as they clung onto the leg of a new face.

A very handsome new face at that. He was tall, probably around Natsu's height. Or…errr. About six foot something. He had light blonde hair, and stormy blue eyes. He was smiling at the children, answering their questions with ease.

Lou asked about karate lessons. _please, please, please Max, please!_

Another, Tara, asked about a jump rope he was supposed to sneak in for her. 'Max' smiled widely and shrugged his bag off his shoulder in favor of digging through it. A red rope with blue plastic handles emerged, and he handed it to Tara.

After that, Lucy couldn't figure out who asked for what, or who was screaming, or who wanted to do what activity. All she knew was there was this really cute boy, probably somewhere around her age, who was good with kids, and muscular, and had a nice, wide smile, standing in the room.

And as the children wandered away from him to play with their new toys, Max's eyes met Lucy's. He smiled, dodging little kids as he made his way to stand next to her. For the first time in years, Lucy wished her hair was done to perfection like it used to be. That she was wearing something cute, and not a hospital gown with dorky shorts.

Makeup would have been nice too.

But Max didn't seem to notice or care. He stuck his hand out, and Lucy took it, a good type of warmth pooling in her stomach as he shook her hand. "You must be Lucy, my sister told me a lot about you! My name's Maxim, and I'm Rea's older brother!"

He wore a simple black long sleeved shirt, and a pair of warn gray sweat pants. His hair was tousled, and he looked a bit sweaty. The bag over his shoulder was hanging forward unzipped, Lucy saw a martial art belt-black- spilling over the side, and a dark red robe. He must have come over from his class. According to Rea, he taught at an institute on the other side of town.

Even though he looked tired out, he was still gorgeous.

Rea did say she had a distraction for her. She just wasn't expecting _her brother_ to be it.

"But you can call me Max."

* * *

><p><strong>Year Five:<strong>

Max was her new night in shining armor. She couldn't open a 'can of snakes' toy for the kids, he would zoom in and help her open it with a teasing smile. Her breakfast wouldn't agree with the medicine in her stomach, and he would be there, holding her hair back as she puked in the kiddy toilets. She would trip over her IV cord, and he would be there to catch her. When she was sad, he would make stupid jokes to get a smile out of her. As the hours passed, she thought less of Natsu (although his face never completely faded) in her alone time, and more about Max.

Sometimes, when it was obvious she wasn't doing well with her self-confidence. He would do something to either make her forget about it, or do something to make her laugh about her current state.

Her favorite example was the time he brought in a guitar to play for the children. He was no pro, but she could say he was better than Gajeel (a pang in her heart at the thought). His voice, good in a raspy folk kind of way, fit the types of songs he wrote well. As he began the opening rift to this one, a simple rhythmic country styled strumming he smirked proudly, saying this one is one of his personal favorites.

She didn't remember the lyrics exactly, but the chorus went something like this:

_Hey, You_

_The one with the eye gook crusted to your noooose_

_Hair so snarled I wonder how it'll ever hang loose_

_Hey, You_

_I don't care about perfect eyebrows, don'tcha knoooow_

_Ha-ha, who cares about underarm hair, don't worry, I've got a lot tooooo_

_Hey, You_

_Lips that could sand off the rough side of a piece ooof wooood_

_Toenails long enough to line an entire rooooad_

_Diamond in the rough, all you've got to do is let it shooooooow!_

And that was the only way he complimented. He would throw all of her imperfections in her face, and then at the very end say something to make it all a little better. Or make her laugh. Either one seemed to make him happy. It was after that song that she started putting more pride into her appearance. Especially when she realized that he, a 24 year old attractive bachelor, was actually paying attention to what she looked like, a 22 year old impatient at a hospital. Most men liked older women, right? So Lucy figured she had her work cut out for her.

The children also had a role in her dawning self esteem. When Lucy started doing her hair on the days she knew Max would be coming, they would comment.

_You should do that more often, you look pretty!_

_Wow! You're bewtiful!_

_I like your shirt!_

Then, there was Rea. There was always Rea. Every morning on the way down to the children's playroom she would comment on her sudden change in attitude towards her personal hygiene and appearance. She was relentless in her teasing, and more than half the time, Lucy was bright red by the time she man it to the children.

One day, after a good amount of teasing, Rea for the first time asked something directly.

_Why don't you tell him already? It's obvious he likes you too. He started coming around way more often since he met you last year. He writes songs for you! How much more proof do you need?_

Lucy shook her head and told Rea that she couldn't. That her past wouldn't let her. Despite the bitter truth that went down between her and Natsu, she felt like if she dated someone else, especially if she was still suffering from the effects of his escapade, it would be like she was betraying him. Betraying herself. It didn't feel right to her.

Rea didn't bring it up again. But she didn't stop teasing her.

* * *

><p>Fall had come in with a boom. One day it was warm, nineties weather, the next it was windy and turtleneck weather. During the summer that year, Rea and Max would sneak her out of the hospital through the back doors to venture around the courtyard. The amount of medicine needed to bury the pains had lessened enough for Rea to take her outside with no worries or guilt.<p>

She was only on basic pain killers now, and even when they worked their way out of her system, the heat waves that ensued were milder than they have ever been. Even better than when she was traveling by boat in between colonies.

Seeing Rea and Max interact was hilarious. During the visits with the children, Rea only stayed for a little bit each time. For whatever reason, the children were really hesitant to play with her. Maybe because she had given the majority of them shots at one point. Either way, she always left before Max arrived.

The siblings bickered a lot. It was all in good nature. Or just Max being somewhat obnoxious. Rea was the type of person who cared only about facts. That was why she liked books so much. There was one plot, with one conclusion. Max liked to use that trait to his advantage when picking on his little sister.

Like with the stupid flowers in the stupid garden. Rea would say she liked the color of the _pink_ flower, and just to be contrary, Max would say it was red. Sometimes, the arguments would get so heated that the patients on the lower floors of the hospital would look out their window to see what the commotion was.

On some of the worst arguments Rea would even try to drag Lucy in to it. When they asked her for a color opinion she would always say something completely off, just to keep away from the squabble. Like blue. The pink-maybe red-flower looked blue to her.

Almost all of their outside adventures went like that. And although their arguments annoyed her, she liked going outside and enjoyed the time she got with the two of them together.

But with the cold weather, the two siblings were hesitant to take Lucy out of the hospital. The pain killers affected her immune system, and she couldn't afford to catch even the common cold. Yes, something like that could get the better of her. It made her wonder if the medicine was actually helping her, or just harming her in the long run.

In the summer, she still spent time with the children, just not as much, but with the cold weather back she began her daily visiting schedule. A couple had left when she returned, their illness vanquished. And although Lucy was happy for them, she was a little sad to see them leave.

Then Kate died.

She was quiet, and didn't go out of her way to make friends with any of the other children, but Lucy was able to draw her out of her shell after a couple months. The little girl was seven when she passed. It was peaceful, in her sleep.

But for Lucy her death was like a punch to the gut. She should have expected it. One of them was bound to pass; they were in the intensive care unit of the hospital for goodness sake. They even knew it was going to happen. The children got over it in a little under a week, but Lucy a week and a half later, was still dwelling on it.

Kate had barely gotten the chance to live.

The past couple days in the children's playroom had been void of any traces of Lucy. She opted for resting in her bed, thinking. Life vanished so easily, so abruptly. Had she been taking hers for granted? What had she accomplished since leaving the guild?

Other than a hospital bill and a tiny bit of magical growth, she had nothing.

If she had stayed at Fairy Tail, moved on with her life there, would she have been better off? Would the heat waves still occur there? Would she have changed at all? She wondered how the others faired after she left. Could they have been better of if she stayed, or did things clear up after her departure?

She wondered if Natsu and Lisanna were still together. Did they have kids?

Was Master Makarov still around?

How was Levy? Did she ever end up with Gajeel?

How old would Wendy be now?

Oh, and then Happy and Charles? They must have had a ton of kittens by now.

Gray must have found out about Juvia's crush by now.

Erza, Mirajane, Cana, Evergreen, Elfman, Macao, Wakaba—how are they all doing?

* * *

><p>It was like she was stuck. Like all the progress she made up to that moment meant nothing. Regardless of how hard she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about them. Her old nakama. She began to think about her own reputation. Before she left, she was the spirit mage on Team Natsu, proud and pretty, and <em>loved<em>. But now, what did they think of her? Did she pass through their thoughts anymore? Had she been forgotten?

Rea tried to reassure her, saying that they hadn't forgotten about her—how could they? Rea, always with her warm smile and calming eyes, attempted to sooth her, to bring her back to the present. She tried magic. Using her flames to dance around Lucy's head, she tried to reel Lucy's head out of the clouds.

She quickly extinguished the blue fire, baffled when Lucy began to cry. That never happened before. When Lucy went into her moods, Rea's flames were known for cheering her up, making her smile. Puzzled Rea sat down on the bed next to the distraught patient. Placing a hand on her shoulder Rea asked what triggered this. Glancing up, Lucy looked into her eyes.

Sitting up in the bed, she curled up, shrugging off Rea's hand. Lucy broke eye contact, and began to tremble. She felt something coming, something big. Something she thought she wouldn't have to deal with like she had before. Something she had thought to have faded.

In the pit of her stomach, she felt a familiar coil of heat tightening up and expanding. Wincing, Lucy grabbed at her stomach in hopes of containing it.

But that never helped. Ever.

She screamed as the heat wave crested, pushing its way through her body. Tears streamed from her closed eyes and down her cheeks as the searing pain gripped her heart and filled her lungs. She couldn't breath, she couldn't think, all she registered was the pain.

And Natsu. Always Natsu. He was there, in the back of her mind. Smiling and laughing.

She began to thrash in her bed, wondering why she hadn't passed out yet. When they were this bad, she would be out for the count in seconds. She barely had any medicine in her system, she should have at least felt weaker, could it be that her old pain meds had built her pain tolerance up?

And where the hell did Rea go?

Opening her eyes, Lucy searched the room. The old man was sitting up in the bed beside hers, frowning. He was probably upset that she woke him up or something. Ignoring him, her frantic gaze continued across the room in time to see Rea walk in with Edge, Mitch, and a couple other nurses in toe.

Hurrying over, Rea pushed Lucy to lay with her back on the bed. Putting her face in between her hands, a cool rag was suddenly placed on her forehead, and Rea was saying things, but Lucy couldn't hear her over the ringing in her ears. More tears fell, and she was probably screaming. What? She didn't know? But her mouth was open and her throat hurt.

Worried faces of her other friends leered over Rea's shoulder. She felt a dull ache in her arm. She suspected it was a needle. To think that a couple years ago she would have screamed at the sight of a need.

It took a bit, but the nurses filed out of the room one by one as the medicine chased her heat wave away. Soon it was only Rea and her left (and the old man, but he didn't count), and Lucy looked up to Rea with a small, half-hearted smile.

Running a hand through the sweaty locks, Rea smoothed down Lucy's hair as she spoke. _Lucy, you have to tell me-as your nurse-what made that happen so we can avoid it in the future._

She felt weary, and guessed that one of the drugs must have been a sedative. Her vision blotched, and her motor skills began to lag. But she did answer Rea, and with the honest truth at that.

Like in the incident that landed her in this hospital, she whispered the one name that could do this to her. She spoke the very name that caught in her throat. The one thing that she never told Rea: The name of her ex-boyfriend.

_Natsu_.

Her voice was soft, but from the look on Rea's face, Lucy knew she heard it.

* * *

><p>Rea was convinced that the heat wave was triggered by guilt. She said in a professional manner that these types of bursts of heat (or magic) cannot be avoided, especially if the mage is suffering mental traumas. For the pains to go away it was imperative that the mage settles whatever situation that brought it on. Both Rea and the doctors think that in order to permanently remedy her pains she has to face what happened back at her old guild.<p>

Before Lucy could question that logic, Rea continued on with her thoughts. She said that the odd thing about this case was that she seized up, and most patience loose all coherent motives and thoughts when in a state as serious of that. But she was screaming _Natsu_. Over and over and over again.

Then, again before Lucy could explain herself, Rea concluded that Lucy must be feeling guilt about not spending as much time with the children during the summer time.

Because Natsu means summer.

And Rea doesn't know that the guild Lucy was from was Fairy Tail, so how was she supposed to put the truth together without that crucial detail.

Plus, Kate had passed away right before her behavior took a turn for the worse.

Rea's story worked, so she would go with it.

Later on that day, Max came to visit. He was still wearing his martial arts uniform, and from the looks of it, he ran the entire way here. He strode in through the doorway looking breathless and tired. He took one look at Lucy and sighed, seemingly relieved about something.

He sat down in the seat next to her bed by the tray of untouched food. He picked up a fork and poked at the cold mashed potatoes, not saying anything, but obviously thinking about the next works he was going to say.

_I got a call from Rea early on in the day. I was working, so I didn't get it immediately, but she left a frightening message. _He paused, his entire body freezing up as if remembering.

_She said something went wrong._

He looked up at her, icy eyes soft. Not a trace of laughter on his face, but he still smiled. Reaching over he wiped her face. She didn't realize she was crying, and somehow, she didn't care that it was Max who saw it.

_I was so scared_. He breathed out, leaning closer to the bed. The tears kept falling, and after a while she began to sob. She told him about it. The pain, the numbness, the horrendous pounding of her head. She told him about her thoughts, _about them_, and how she wanted so badly for things to be different.

Her words tinkered off into thought. She had to bite her tongue to keep them at bay. She wanted to tell him just like she had told Rea. After her conversation with the nurse, she had felt so much better, and she needed that now. She needed to be able to look herself in the mirror and not see what she could have been, but what she had become. She wanted to be proud of herself, of her accomplishments, but before she could do that she needed one more person's opinion.

And that person would be Max's.

She turned to him. Her tears had dried up to a stop, but were still ready to be released again at a moments notice. She scooted over, patting the side of the bed as a signal for him to join her. Without any hesitation he slid onto the rumbled sheets, tucking one arm around her Max looked over, raising an eyebrow.

She began to shake again as she thought back to when she was seventeen and still with Natsu. Although she opted to leave names out like she did with Rea, she went more into detail about her thoughts as she relived Natsu's and Lisanna's relationship.

Taking the shaking girl into his arms, he rested his chin on her head, comforting her as she spoke. By the end of the confession, Lucy was breathing erratically, but no tears fell. Her heart was beating fast as she waited for his reaction.

He was silent.

She began to calm down; because if he had something bad to say Max would have already said it by now. He wasn't good with comforting people. She could tell this much. Unlike Rea, who would have been at least looking at her (with that nice smile of hers), he wasn't even moving. He didn't utter anything, didn't make an effort to see if she crying, nothing.

Imagine her surprise when he finally decided to talk and he asked if she would like to live with him and Rea at their apartment.

* * *

><p>Rea jumped right on board with her brother's idea. She didn't even need a tiny bit of convincing, but her doctors were another story.<p>

They were very reluctant to release her because of her recent attack, especially since it took such a large amount of medicine to stabilize her. They thought she needed to be an inpatient for at least another month before they turned her loose.

But Rea, being the stubborn person she was, argued to her little heart's content until they finally gave their approval. Although Lucy would never tell her blonde friend, but she felt like the battle was just barely a win because just under a month had passed before the doctors said anything about releasing her.

But Rea was happy, and Max had been bragging about the room he prepared for her for weeks now, and Lucy was ready to get out of the hospital. She had enough of beeping machinery and icky food. It was time to actually live somewhere where she could do the things she wanted to do.

Plus, some exercise would be nice. She was starting to get flabby, and that just wouldn't do.

* * *

><p>The apartment was a couple streets away from the hospital. No wonder the doctors released her, especially if they knew she was going to be living so close with Rea-<em>her nurse.<em>

It was also really small. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a living room that doubled as the kitchen. The room that Max had prepared was nothing more than a couch surrounded by a perimeter of miss matched sheets that he tacked to the ceiling.

He was most proud of the door. It was a pillow case.

Lucy could have smacked him.

* * *

><p>Max over heard Lucy and Rea talking about fitness one day, and how Lucy felt she should do something to get back into shape. Max, had commented that it's very hard to get fat off of hospital food and that the 'flab' that Lucy was so worried about was already there before she entered. When Lucy stood from her seat, giving him a death glare that would have made Erza proud, he quickly amended that he could teach her some martial arts if she wanted to learn. It was a good work out.<p>

Still bristling Lucy agreed, if anything because she wanted to have an excuse to kick him where the sun don't shine.

* * *

><p>A couple months passed by, and Max kept boasting about her martial arts skills like he'd never seen anything like it (he was much, much better than her). He kept crowing to Rea and all of his students about how good she was at it, like a prodigy. When they were alone, and she accomplished something, he would say she was a natural, and that she should have gotten involved with hand to hand combat a long time ago.<p>

Lucy was sure he was just trying to make her feel good about herself because it took her

almost an entire two weeks to learn the first, _easiest_, set of kicks he tried to teach her. But if one thing helped her self-esteem, it was the changes she saw in her body. She became so invested in her training (every spare minute she got, it was spend practicing the new set of moves for the week) that any other worry paled in comparison to her martial arts. Not only was her body in the best shape it has ever been in, but her mental state had improved loads.

Rea was right; she needed time way from the hospital.

Ever since she began participating in actual physical activities, her mind only wandered back to her old life for a couple moments. She didn't dwell on the maybes and what ifs anymore. And now, with no medicine in her system at all, the blunt dull burning sensation in her stomach due to the now consistent heat wave was bearable. It felt like she swallowed the hottest of all hot peppers whole and it refused to digest properly.

She could tolerate that.

* * *

><p>It was winter, and Max and Lucy took to sparring in the living room. They would move all the breakables (including tables and chairs) to the side and just have at each other. Lucy was proud to say that in the little amount of time that Max had been teaching her, she could now give him a good run for his money before he would pin her down.<p>

One time, she'd gotten so close to getting him down, that in order to escape he used his magic. He swiped at her, hand covered in blue flame as he twirled out of her way.

Lucy was proud to say her instincts from living with a fire dragon slayer for so long were still in tact after almost six years. She ducked and dodged the fiery attacks like a pro, and with the added new skills from Max, she was hot on his heels, almost ready to finish him off.

That is until Rea returned home from work and pitched a fit.

Lucy couldn't blame her. She remembered what it was like to come home and find her entire living room on fire.

* * *

><p>Rea, being the devious girl that she was, figured out a wonderful way to get back at Lucy for the fire mishap in the living room a couple weeks ago. She knew she couldn't do anything to Max, as the guy had nerves of steal. But Lucy on the other hand was easy to fluster, and easy to annoy.<p>

This weekend was Christmas, and the siblings were holding a Christmas party on Christmas Eve. Rea was a terror about decorating, and on top of it all, she waited until the week before the party to get started.

The first thing that went up was the ridiculous amount of mistletoes.

Lucy's training in evasion took on a new meaning when Max went around trying to sneak kisses from her whenever he got a chance. They hadn't done much sparring, and she certainly hadn't learned anything new, but she got really good at thwarting full body attempts of assault.

And on another subject, she did learn that Rea could be devious in her revenges. Like Mirajane would have done, instead of picking a fight like a normal person, Rea bit the bullet and waited for the perfect idea and opportunity to arise.

And with her knowledge of Lucy's soft spot for Max, Rea didn't have to think hard about her revenge at all. Her feelings were obvious to even the densest of people, and Rea took advantage of that.

By the Christmas party Lucy and Max were dating.

* * *

><p>AN: So what do you guys think of the characters I made up? I worked hard on them, and I'm curious as to how you feel about them. I don't usually put OC into my fanfiction (as it seems wrong to me), but it was necessary for this. I think I might keep Max for another role in another fanfiction I've got cooking. Any suggestions for him in specific?<p> 


	9. Intermission III

**AN: Hello there, you guys did earn this chapter early-by A lot-and I do wish I was able to get this monster out earlier, but I had so many issues with it, and I just couldn't get it right, and URGHHHHH.  
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**But I think I finally got it down after working on it all. freakin. day. Not even kidding, this was an all day project.  
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**All my other chapters were 6,000-7,000 words, and honestly this one was supposed to about the same amount AND the last part of the intermission. But no. There is still one part that I hope to have out either this weekend or early next week. I wanted to do the final years of the intermission in one chapter, but year six was 8,755 without line breaks and author note, and I hadn't even started editing the next year!  
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**ABOUT NATSU!  
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**A lot of people have been asking about him and Fairy Tail. What have they been doing? Does Natsu feel the things that Lucy feels? Is he with Lisanna? Well, I do know all the answers to that, and don't worry, you guys will too, you'll just have to be patient. All of that will be cleared up sometime after the intermission :D**

**Enjoy your early chapter! And tell me what you thought! I'm really nervous about this one because so much happens and I'm not sure if it was too much or not. I almost didn't post it because I was so iffy about it!  
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* * *

><p><strong>Year Six:<strong>

Early January was accompanied by a huge snow storm, and by huge, she meant _huge_. As in she woke up that morning to find Max having a battle with the white flakes and losing quite pathetically. With his blue fire flying and buckets full of salt and sand by his side, he cleared away a path that would be recovered by the snow in a couple minutes flat.

About five minutes into her watching him, he noticed. He had started doing some martial arts moves (ones that she had mastered already) as he pranced around the sidewalk making grunting noises. She giggled when he threw a powerful punch at the enemy pile of fresh snow and slush. She must have giggled just loud enough for him to hear her because he spun around so fast that he nearly doubled over in his rush. Her laughter had her gasping, and his bright blush didn't help the matter either.

Instead of letting her tease him, like she wanted to, he ushered her back inside. As they walked into the kitchen he scolded her for standing out in the cold wearing nothing more than flimsy pajamas and an old blanket. Her immune system still wasn't back to normal yet, and he was talking about her catching her death, or the plague, out there. Either one was really bad in his book.

Lucy had just finished explaining that catching her death would probably be the _same_ as catching the plague when the lights flickered off.

She froze. Max froze. No one dared to speak.

But after a couple seconds of heavy silence, Rea spoke first from the bathroom.

_So, the power just went out!_

Lucy's eyes locked with Max's and then promptly the two busted into laughter because Rea was in the middle of a shower.

Lucy spent the rest of the day gathering candles and flashlights, getting everything that needed to be cold out of the now useless refrigerator and into the still active snow storm.

Max spent the majority of the day trying to get the rest of the shampoo out of Rea's hair via snowballs.

* * *

><p>The outage lasted just under a week. They had to buy water (Lucky for them, they bought the last couple gallons in the entire store) and ration it, otherwise Rea would have drank it all in the first couple days. That girl could consume water like a fish.<p>

Then, they spend their time either playing cards, practicing martial arts (much to Lucy's surprise, Rea even joined in though she was against sparring indoors after the fire incident), or meditating. For such a hyperactive, high strong guy, Max really enjoyed his meditation. Lucy never cared or noticed that Max always got up a good couple hours before Lucy even thought about waking up, and apparently he did that all for the sake of his meditation time. He needed peace and quiet to properly get on _his zone_. He reasoned that there was no better time to do that than when everyone else was asleep.

It was through the metal exercises that Max found out about Lucy's magic. Like Rea, he knew that she was a mage, but wasn't sure about her actual power. And it was the simple fact that meditation wasn't her thing that revealed the secret behind her particular brand of magic. She could only sit and do nothing for so long, so, she began practicing the new technique of magic she stumbled upon in the hospital.

Apparently, her parts of the conversations were verbalized.

This was embarrassing because Ares had been the one to answer her, and she was telling her about Max. In all his shirtless sweaty glory too. She didn't skimp out on any details either.

After the teasing (I didn't know you _liked_ what you saw) (Would you rather we spar naked?), he then realized that Lucy probably wasn't just saying those things to poke at his ego, and that the pauses in her rants left room for someone to _answer_ her.

All sorts of chaos ensued. Rea was convinced that Lucy was verging on insanity and was in need of more medicine. Max, surprisingly calm about the ordeal after the initial teasing, had concluded that she was a physic and was merely voicing the thoughts of every other girl in the world.

Laughing somewhat sheepishly, Lucy denounced both of their claims and told them the truth. She explained in detail of her Celestial Spirits, and the new way of communication she developed.

Max had stood up, smiling from ear to ear. He went into grueling detail about her type of magic. Which surprised her because why would he of all people know so much about it? Was this some weird thing fate had planned? Where they meant to meet? Even though she knew the majority of what he was saying already, she listened with her undivided attention. Her said that Celestial magic was one of the more powerful supportive type magic. Unlike exquip mages and alchemists-frontline mages-supportive mages could make battling situations less taxing on the more combative mages. She knew this well. She was the only supportive mage in her old team. Eventually he embarked on uncharted territory for her.

He told her that her magic capacity was practically limitless compared to other types of supportive magic. Because there was little to no strain on the body physically, celestial mages could 'charge up' their energy in the main chakras. A Chakra was a pool of energy, and when mixed with pure magic, it gave the results for battle center mages. Supportive magic use the already present magic as they do not have the means to mix it with the energy in their chakras.

Half way through his explanation of chakras, Max ran off to his room. Lucy looked to Rea in confusion, the younger sister shrugged, obviously befuddled over his little outburst.

According to her he had a fascination with magic and did a lot of research on the topics when he wasn't busy. Celestial magic just happened to be his favorite supportive magic, so he knew a great deal about it.

Max returned with a book in hand. Commenting on her love of reading, he said this book was one of his favorites on celestial magic, the majority of what he knew about it came from that book. Lucy happily took the book, inwardly wondering why she didn't think of researching her own magic before.

She spent the rest of the day reading and only made it a little less than half way through it. The thing was pretty thick.

Plus the lettering size was really small. Or at least that was what she told Max when he asked why she hadn't finished it yet.

She found out that Max was right about her magic being pretty cool. She didn't know that she was capable of doing all these cool things. For years she wondered why all her friends could do crazy awesome things with their magic when she could only summon spirits and watch them do all the work for her.

She didn't know there was a deeper layer of power to her magic. Like her friends back in Fairy Tail, they all worked to become outstanding mages, they invested themselves in their magic for years until they found the deeper layers of their power. Some, Like Natsu, Erza, and Gray were naturally pretty powerful and only had to look a little harder to see their potential. But for Lucy it wasn't like that.

As a child her mother was the only one to support her as mage. Her father disapproved, especially since the other wealthy families were talking about her magic. When her mother passed her father banned all magic from the mansion.

She didn't have people to tell her that her magic could be improved on. No one told her that there were more than just the basics. And she didn't have the raw power like her old team to realize it herself. She lacked the drive that the others had. Not to mention that she never met anyone else who had her magic that _wasn't_ evil.

It felt good to have renewed faith in her magic. For a while, she thought she had reached her capacity. That she wasn't going to get any stronger. Her hands clutched at the book in excitement because something worth while _finally_ came from this ridiculous adventure of hers.

For starters, most outstanding celestial mages could communicate with their spirits through their mind easily by the time of their deaths, the more talented ones could talk to all of them at the same time if they wanted to. Lucy couldn't imagine talking to all her mages at the same time. That would be one chaotic, insulting, strange conversation.

The beneficial quality of this ability includes using the spirits magic without actually summoning them. If Lucy was able to make a strong enough bond with a spirit mentally she could call up their offensive (or defensive) attacks and abilities and use them as her own. Of course a lot of training would be needed to accomplish that, especially with that specific spirit.

A bond of trust and faith had to be forged, one that was unbendable and strong. Something like that could take years to establish, but when she pictured herself launching Loke's Regulus attack and couldn't help but smile. She was willing to put that amount of work into her bond with the lion spirit if he would let her.

Flipping through the book some more in search of ways to strengthen these bonds with her spirits, she paused when she found the right section. Scanning over the words, she couldn't help the rueful smile that crawled up her face.

In order to begin such a bond, the wizard must be in tip top mental state. The mage must be sure of who they are, and have no lingering questions about who they want to be.

The book recommended that meditation would be the best way to begin such a task.

Go figure, the one thing that Max forced her into that she failed miserably at was the very thing that could strengthen her magic.

The remainder of the black out she meditated. Lunch? Ha, no, meditation. Looking for a place to shower, no. Sleep? No. Her life became meditation, and not just halfhearted attempts either. By the time Max dragged her out of the apartment on the last day of the outage to play in the snow, she felt like a different person. She had set goals now. Ambitions for the future (one of which was getting a job). Another was to meditate with Max every morning for then on out.

She had never sparred in the snow before, but it was one of the more fun experiences of the outage.

Especially when she sent Max flying into a snow bank that was over ten feet tall. He had to use his magic to find his way out. She'll never forget the look on his face when he emerged, somewhat prideful because he taught her that move, but a bit angry, because his pupil finally surpassed him.

Of course, he waved it off, claiming that she merely got lucky.

* * *

><p>Really, it didn't seem like she and Max were dating until she thought she was home alone. It was rare for her to have the apartment to herself, so after taking a shower she didn't get dressed right away. Instead she pranced around in her bra and underwear, dancing to her own beat as she moved about the house, cleaning. She was enjoying her alone time, absentmindedly working on the weeks new set of martial art moves when she finished her chores for the day.<p>

Max had her practicing her breathing this week, that way she could be fighting as intensely as she could manage, but still have the endurance of a simple spar. She was concentrating so hard on her slow warm up movements and breathing that she didn't notice the door click open on the opposite end of the room.

She didn't notice the blonde haired man sneak in, nor did she hear him put his karate bag down on the kitchen table.

No, she didn't notice him until she turned to sit down on her 'bed', which was still the couch because she refused to share a bed with Max even if they were dating. Imagine her surprise when she looked to the kitchen to see her boyfriend sitting in a chair with an amused smirk on his face.

At first, she was embarrassed because he caught her doing her exercises rather sloppily. He always commented on how serious she took every move she did, and well, _that_ image was out the window. Then she remembered she was wearing only her underwear.

She must have looked like a fool as she screamed and lunged for the couch. Pulling the sheets that dangled from the ceiling closed, she hurriedly looked for something-anything-to cover herself up. Her clothes were moved into Max's closet so they wouldn't wrinkle in the makeshift storage system she began to use. Or as Max would put it, simply throwing it on the floor.

She spotted her nightgown hanging off the edge of the couch, and her hands grabbed it before her brain registered that that would do. She was preparing to slip it over her head when a set of hands reaching around to snatch it from her. She felt her face heat up, and she twirled around to met Max's amused eyes.

He was eying her like a piece of meat.

And then he was upon her.

There was an awkward moment in which it was obvious that he wanted to do so much more than kissing, and she didn't. It wasn't that the man above her wasn't attractive, quite the opposite really, he was gorgeous. There was just something stopping her, something hot, and vaguely painful stirring in her stomach at his advances.

Like a warning.

So she shoved him off of her with a defensive move she was taught during the blackout. He fell off the couch and onto the floor with a loud clattering noise. One of her '_walls'_ was ripped from the ceiling in his descend.

After he recovered his dignity and senses, he threw the sheet off him and glowered at her.

Giggling, she told him she wanted to wait for marriage. Which wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly true either.

* * *

><p>After than incident Max maintained his forwardness in the sexual part of their relationship. Although he never pushed her to go all the way with him, he seemed to start heated kissing sessions with her more and more in hopes of going as far as possible with her.<p>

So now, instead of laughing, and talking, and just goofing off when Rea wasn't around and they weren't training, they were kissing. Sure, they still trained fairly regularly, but it wasn't as often as it was before he practically saw her naked.

The whole situation was beginning to make Lucy feel funny. It wasn't that he couldn't kiss or anything, no, he was pretty good at that. She didn't like the feeling of his hands on her, or the way his body fit with hers when they were cuddling.

She swore she would never compare Max to Natsu because they were completely different people, but she felt much more comfortable when with Natsu. Just because the Dragon Slayer hadn't been forward about his advances didn't mean they didn't have their moments.

Sighing, she shoved Max away from her, saying that she _really had to pee_.

The truth was that she just missed Natsu, and couldn't bare to have Max's lips on her while she thought about her pink haired Dragon Slayer.

* * *

><p>'March comes in like a Lion, and out like a lamb', her mother once told her that as a child. She remembered the conversation like it happened last night, and right at this moment, her mother's words rang true.<p>

Her and Max had their first argument at the beginning of March. She and Rea had just gotten back from a girl's day out. The smaller blonde was in need of a new outfit for a _date_. That's right a _date_. Lucy had met the man that asked her out at the Christmas party last year, and watched with interest as Rea flirted with the big, burly guy. His name was Rhydion, and with his dark hair and tan skin, he was quite the looker. Lucy wasn't aware that Rea kept in contact with the huge guy until that morning when her friend up ran from her bedroom screaming about a date.

Thus a day out on town ensued. They must have spent five or six hours looking for the perfect outfit. By the time the two girls returned to their apartment, both were exhausted from the long day. But at least it wasn't all for naught, they had come home with the prettiest dinner dress Lucy has seen in a while.

At the end of the day, all she wanted to do was wash up and go lay down. She imagined that as soon as her head hit her pillow, she would be out for the count.

So when Max cornered her in the hallway on the way to the bathroom for some 'alone time' Lucy snapped. In her tired grumpiness all the stress of his advances came forth as she told him that she didn't understand his sudden want for sex. She went on to tell him that she thought it was rude to push her considering she said that she wanted to wait for marriage, and that he should respect that.

Those words were probably a declaration of war to Max, because he went on defense. Backing away from her, his face crumpled into something that looked like a snarl. It didn't look good on his face at all. She was so used to seeing him with a huge grin that it shocked her into silence to see the sour expression in its stead.

She gaped at him as he blew up, steaming coming off of his clenched fists. He told her he was sick of her games. That it was normal for two people in a relationship to do things-like sex-together, and that she was only holding back because she wasn't completely over her ex. He made wild gestures as he said that he always felt like he had to live up to whoever her ex was-even though the guy was scum anyway. He felt like he was always giving, giving, giving to her but she wouldn't even given him a _little_ release in return. He went on to talk about Natsu, and that it frustrated him that she never told him his name, how they met, what he was like-or anything. He hated that he knew virtually nothing of this man other than his one misdeed. He also didn't like the fact that she wouldn't tell anyone what guild she was from. He was beginning to think she made all of that up just so someone would pity her and take her off the streets.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at the mention of Natsu and her guild. He could scold her about her decisions all he wanted, he could even call her a liar if he wanted to, but as soon as he brought her old life into the fight things got serious. Despite trying to forget about them, she felt herself becoming extremely protective of them.

It was her turn to back him in a corner as she bit out through clenched teeth that her past was really none of his business, and _how dare he_ accuse her of making something like that up. She felt a fire in her system that she hadn't felt in _years_ as she said that her ex's name and her guild should be irrelevant because she was trying to leave them behind for _him_ and Rea. If she told them their names, then wouldn't that defeat the purpose? She tried her hardest to keep her mind from thinking about them. And it was beginning to work. She was thinking less and less everyday because she wanted to start a new chapter of her life with them, and if he had a problem with that, then maybe they weren't meant to be after all.

She made eye contact with Rea as she pulled the front door open. Her eyes softening when they locked onto the other girl's frightened ones. The poor girl looked like she was about to cry. She then said for her sake, not Max's, that she'd be home for dinner and that she had to go think about some things.

As she slammed the door shut behind her she thought that even if Max was right about her and Natsu, and her feelings were still intact, it shouldn't matter. He knew of her history, and even if he didn't believe it, he should be willing to _at the least_ give her a bit more time to settle in with them. She spent _six years_, the majority of it alone, brooding about Natsu. It was only normal for her to still have him on her mind, and if Max really loved her, then he would understand that she was trying. He should be okay with waiting until she either tied up her loose ends, or told him the truth about her lingering feelings. That's what love is, being there for the other person whenever they needed the extra support.

But now, Lucy wondered if Max would stick around long enough for her to open up that path with him.

Thus, the seeds of doubt had been planted.

* * *

><p>It took nearly a month for them to apologize and actually mean it. The argument hadn't ended when she came back for dinner that night, it went on for days-weeks!-before Max finally cracked and apologized sincerely. She had began to cry after he said something about her integrity again, and she saw him change back into the Max that she knew from the hospital.<p>

Everything resumed to what it used to be before the fight. Rea was happy and laughing again. She and Max were training and meditating together. She was getting pretty good at connecting with Loke. Now the process of reaching out took a couple minutes and a good deal less effort on her part.

Things were good again, but Lucy was still weary. Max's words were sharp and hard for her to swallow. Sometimes she would find sleep hard to catch because her mind would be muddled with his hateful anger. She never thought her happy go lucky, friendly, silly boyfriend was capable of such hurtful words.

But, as May brought the warm weather, Lucy started to realize something even odder about Max.

He was coming home later everyday. It was only by five or ten minutes each time, he wasn't coming home so late that she would stay up into the wee hours of the morning for him. But he was one who was obsessive about being on time. He was prompt with everything he did.

Lucy began writing down the times he came home in a notebook she bought a couple weeks ago so she could record her times when connecting with Loke, and how long she could retain the connection before she drained her magic.

There was a pattern. He would come home five minutes late on some days, then ten on all the others. She began to worry when five to tens minutes late turned to fifteen on every day.

The early summer day Rea moved into an apartment with Rhydion was when Lucy started getting really edgy.

It was surprising how much stuff Rea had in that small room of hers, and it took the three nearly five hours to clean it out. Max was supposed to help with the moving, but he never showed up. This left Lucy bristling because as of lately he has been becoming more and more unreliable. He would say he would be back to do something by a certain time, but show up an half an hour late. Sure, he would apologize profusely after, and give her some believable excuse to quell her suspicions, but he'd been doing it for a month now. It was coming down to a matter of respect for Lucy now.

She expected him to at the very least keep his word about being on time, and the fact that he was ditching her left and right was making her wonder about the amount fo respect he actually held for her.

Due to Lucy's obvious anger, Rea tried to talk her out of her tizzy. Lucy must have looked devastatingly angry because Rhydion made him self scarce. She felt bad because the guy was a sweetie, and despite his size, he was easily startled by stern words. She hoped he wouldn't stay scared of her for long.

(When he started dating Rea, Max lectured him. Ever since the poor guy would practically run from the protective older brother.)

With a sigh, Rea put the last box in the moving vehicle before turning to her with a frown.

_Don't worry, he probably got held up at work again._ Something told Lucy that Rea was getting sick of his behavior as well.

Lucy tried to smile, she really did. But what Rea didn't know was that Lucy found a receipt for condoms in a bag on the kitchen table. It was dated last weekend, Lucy spent the day with Rea last weekend, and she didn't see Max at all that day because she was out with Rea until late that night. It was an impromptu girls day out because Max would be working _extra_ late AND going to visit the children at the hospital.

Lucy thought that was weird, because he never went to visit the kids without her.

Besides, if he was so busy, then why did he need condoms?

Lucy chalked up for him getting ready to purpose, ignoring the awful feeling in her heart because _Max knows her._ He wouldn't do what she first thought he might be doing to her.

Right?

* * *

><p>It took another couple weeks, but Rea settled into her new apartment with Rhydion pretty smoothly. She spent the morning hours there having breakfast with the couple. It was supposed to be a double date, but like usual, Max didn't show up.<p>

Rhydion warmed up to Lucy again during the breakfast. Since the moving day, he hadn't spoken to her, but now he wouldn't stop. She didn't even know what he was going on about now-robots?-but Lucy was smiling anyway. Even if it was a bit fake because _Max still hadn't showed his face yet!_

After the meal, Rea gave Lucy the grand tour without her brother present. Lucy had a hard time concentrating on Rea's words, because all she wanted to do was go and find Max. It was time she got to the bottom of his new bad habits.

She had to forcefully return her attention back to Rea and her new apartment before she ran out the door to find Max (_I'll only be a couple minutes late, I can't find the right belt!_) and bring him over here by the ear.

Rea's new place was just as small as the apartment she originally lived in. But it had two bathrooms and one good sized bedroom. The kitchen was a tad bigger too. The living room was very small though.

Rhydion snuck up behind Rea and wrapped his arms around her. He began kissing her neck, and the girl blushed, eyes sliding over to Lucy. Rhydion wasn't good at direct comments or commands, so when he wanted something, he usually did something that would get the point across. Despite the man staying silent, Lucy heard him loud and clear.

Smiling, she waved at the couple, saying she'll give them their privacy.

Besides, she was itching to go find her boyfriend.

She left quickly, the door squeaking when she closed it behind her. Looking down the street she frowned. Lucy had a mighty big bone to pick with Max. This wasn't just _any_ visit to a friend's house he missed. It was the first visit to his sister's new apartment with her boyfriend. It was a date, something that he even set up.

She walked the whole-agonizingly long- way down the street to where she and Max were living, fuming the entire way. She went up the steps and unlocked the door to their apartment. All her spiteful thoughts about her confrontation with him went out the window when she got a look at the kitchen. The keys in her hand clattered to the floor with a loud 'thud', and her hands flew up to her mouth to smother the gasp.

A girl-a red head- was splayed naked over the kitchen table. Lucy didn't get a look at her face because she was facing away from her. But she was curvy, and freckled, and sexy, and Lucy felt the tears coming even before she looked to Max. She didn't let them fall.

He was also naked, situated behind her. He was looking over his shoulder at her, an angry face skewed across his face like he was about to tell the intruder to bug off. But when he saw her, he blinked, eyes going wide, and face going pale. Pulling away from the red head like she'd burned him, he pulled his pants up from around his ankles. He began to shake visibly, regret already playing through his features.

He looked like he was caught shooting someone's cat.

She remembered his voice, thick with sorrowful emotion as he explained himself.

_Lucy, I-I was-No, I wasn't doing what your thinking I was doing! I was doing what you asked me to, I was trying to save or relationship! I swear, this isn't what it looks like at all._

She figured he was hoping she would go with the cliché 'then what is it' line, but she remained silent in favor of keeping her composer. She feared that if she opened her mouth, nothing but angry words and muddled cries would come out. She knew he was up to something, and although cheating had crossed her mind, she never thought he would stoop that low. They'd had plenty of conversations about honesty, and how she wished Natsu would have just told her about his feelings for the other girl. It wasn't like Max didn't know she would rather have him be honest and upfront about this type of thing. So, _how could he do this to her?_

_Men have needs, sexual needs. And I just needed a release. Something to keep me at bay for a while so I-I wouldn't p-pressure you!_ He was approaching her, his stormy eyes watery.

Bitterness welled up in her throat as she backed away. Her entire being went numb. She felt cold as the words she was biting back came out. _Are you saying that Natsu was just relieving himself too? That he cheated on me because of his manly needs? Is that why he told the entire guild of Fairy Tail to keep their mouths shut? Because he was PROTECTING ME?_

He froze, something tragic in the way his eyes lit up in realization. It was like he was falling a part right in front of her very eyes. She wondered if this was what she looked like when she confronted Fairy Tail. My, how things have changed. Now she was the one holding her own, she was watching her loved ones fall to pieces.

_Your ex was Natsu Dragoneel, the infamous first generation fire dragon slayer? _

Lucy nodded. _The one and only._

Almost in disbelief, he stared at her. _You're Natsu Dragoneel's long lost partner? You're Fairy Tail's lost Celestial Mage. Why didn't I put it all together? Lucy, Lucy. Blonde, blonde. It's s-so obvious!_

She turned around, head bowed. _I don't know, but you're no better than him._

_Tell Rea I said goodbye._

The last thing she saw besides the crushed look in Max's eyes was the opened box of condoms sitting on the counter beside him. She huffed, calmly walking over to the apartment complex across the way. She hunkered down by the window to watch Max and his little girl toy leave so she could get her stuff out of there.

She hadn't realized how much she'd changed up to until that point. If this had happened to her six years ago, she would have been a mess, just like with what happened with Natsu.

She wasn't that naive, innocent little girl anymore.

She knew pain. She knew hardship; she knew what it meant to struggle.

This time, she wasn't blind sided, she saw this coming. All those years of hard travel had sharpened her awareness, and this time she saw the signs. Although she was still pretty distraught because she _trusted_ Max, she knew that the world wouldn't end. That life goes on. She would go on.

Even if it seemed like her world was crashing down around her at the moment.

The door across the street opened, and the red head left first. She had one high heel on, the other in her hand. Her curly mess of hair was in disarray, bouncing in which ever direction, untamed. Her clothes, a glittery silver dress, rumbled like she was rushed while getting dressed. Lucy knew she'd never forget the shade of that's woman hair for as long as she lived. It was dark, but lighter than Erza's.

Fifteen minutes passed, and Max exited too. He paused outside the door, looking straight at where Lucy sat in the window of the adjacent building. They watched each other for a moment before he looked to the ground. He walked down the street towards Rea's apartment, head bowed and shoulders slumped.

When he disappeared into the apartment building, Lucy emerged onto the street. Bee lining for her old apartment, she fumbled with her keys to open the door only to find it left open. She didn't want to still be there when he returned. She had nothing to say to him, so she rushed inside.

Upon entering the apartment she noticed that the kitchen table had been washed, the box of condoms was gone, and that there was a note on the kitchen counter. Despite herself she took the time to read it.

_Lucy,_

_I figured this would be the last chance I'd get to talk to you, so I'll make this letter worth your time. _

_I want to say that I love every single little bit of you. Every flaw, every scar, every bit of baggage you came with, I love it. I love you. I never said it before, and I regret that now, because it's true. I've never felt this way about a girl before, and my feelings for you run so deep, and I am so SO sorry. Everything I do-good or bad-had you in mind. As I said before, and as lame as it sounds, I was just trying to protect you from my own sex drive._

_Believe it or not (You probably won't), but I did plan on telling you about my lapse in control, so I was already preparing for the worst case scenario when my friend stopped by unannounced this morning after you left for Rea's. I wasn't expecting you to walk in though. But that's so like you; full of surprises._

_I really do wish you'd stay around just a little longer. I saw you go the apartment complex across the street from ours. I know you're waiting for me to leave. So I will, I'll go tell Rea good bye for you, like you told me to. And if you're here when I get back, good. If you're not, then my life just got that much more difficult. _

_But there is one thing that I must stress. Besides Celestial Magic, my other favorite happened to be Dragon Slayer Magic and I think there is a couple things you need to know about Dragon Slayers. It could help you understand your condition Luce. _

_For your information, there's money on my dresser and a suitcase in the closet. _

_Max_

Lucy wiped her tears with an angry swipe. She swore she wasn't going to cry, but here she was, shedding tears and blubbering like a beached whale for a man that couldn't keep his promises. A couple drops fell onto the paper, smudging the neat penmanship. Crumbling up the paper, she threw it in the garbage, hesitating when she saw the box of condoms on top. She scoffed. There was only one missing.

Thinking back on the letter, she sniffed. If he thought he would get her to stick around by pulling the 'I know how to cure you' stunt then he had another thing coming. She stomped down the hall into his bedroom, kicking a chair out of her way when she arrived. She rummaged around the desk finding the money she stashed away for an emergency. She decided to put it in his room under the pencil sharpener because it was the least likely place for anyone to find it. Especially Max because he didn't use the desk for anything but storage.

Besides, she wouldn't take his money. She didn't want to owe him anything.

On the floor a plastic bag caught on her foot. It was kind of big, probably just enough room to pack the clothes she actually liked. She kept her clothing hung up in his closest so they wouldn't wrinkle. He didn't really use it anyway. Storming over to the open closest to stuff the majority of her wardrobe into the bag, she no longer cared if it got wrinkled. She threw the things he bought her onto his bed as she grabbed them. She didn't need the memory with her.

On the floor of the closet was the suitcase he was talking about in the letter. It was the same one he bought her when he decided that they would travel a bit in the future. That was about a week ago. Now that she knew about his red head friend, she wondered if he knew even back then that she would probably be leaving him soon. Probably. If Max wasn't anything, he was a realist. He didn't sugar coat things, and this case probably was no different.

The suitcase was a plum color, she thought it was pretty enough at the time, but the color disgusted her now. She helped him pick it out, and it was after that trip she first said she thought she might be falling in loved him. It kind of came out, she didn't mean to say it out loud because of the 'might' part.

He hadn't said it back. A hand snaked around her waist and a kiss found its way to her forehead, but he didn't utter a word in response.

Now she was sure, and the answer was no, she did not love him.

Grimacing, she kicked the suitcase as hard as she could in anger. It shocked her when it didn't tip over, merely swaying back and forth as it regained its upright position.

She knew for a fact she didn't put anything in that. Curiosity had her kneeling down and opening it. A note on top of a pile of books greeted her. Furrowing her brow she picked it up. The paper was stained with tear marks.

This note read:

_I figured you'd leave, so everything I want to tell you is in these books. Take which ever ones you like. _

Placing the note down, Lucy read the titles.

Dragon Slayer Magic Skills: Honed

Dragons and Dragon Slayers for Dummies

Dragonslayers and Relationships

Dragon Slayer Behavioral Guide

After scanning each title she picked the 'for Dummies' book, and Dragon Slayers and Relationships book to take with her. She figured she'd have plenty of time to read them on the boat heading to the next colony.

* * *

><p>Lucy didn't expect it to be as hard as it was to get through the books. She chalked it up to the combined stress of breaking up with Max and reading about the Dragon Slayer that broke her heart first and for most. Something about the weight of the books in her hands made her whole body shake with the effort to keep her self together. She refused to let herself breakdown in front of the hundreds of people on the bottom level of the ferry boat.<p>

With a deep breath she dove into the smaller of the two books. Dragon Slayers for dummies. The book gave her no new news. She'd seen the dragon roar up close and personal, she'd seen the speed, the power, the competitive glint in their eyes, she knew of the enhanced senses from day one, and she had seen the possessiveness in their gazes every day.

But the one thing that this book mentioned that Lucy had no recollection of was the mating principle. Sure, she knew about sex, and love, and how Dragon Slayers acted when in a relationship (for the most part). But she didn't know there was a difference set of rules for Dragon Slayers than normal humans.

The most shocking of these rules, was that Dragon Slayers only have sex once, and as soon as they do, that person becomes their significant other for the remainder of their life.

Everything made sense now. Natsu was never a sexually in tune person. With her time with him, he never made any sexual advances (like Max), and seemed just fine with hanging out. She would be lucky to get a heated kiss here and there or a nice long cuddle session with the hyper Dragon Slayer. He could hardly stay still long enough to get passionate with him.

He must have sealed the deal with Lisanna within the month of her return. That would explain his late nights, and the distance he put between him and her as soon as Lisanna returned.

Lisanna was his mate.

But Natsu was a nice guy and cared for his nakama with the deepest part of his heart. He wanted her to be happy, and he knew that the only one that could truly make her happy was him. That was why he didn't break up with her right away. He still loved her, but Lisanna was his one and only.

Of course she was, he was hers before Lucy even came into the picture.

But that didn't eliminate the pang in her chest at the thought that she never had a chance. That he already had eyes and body for another girl-even if he hadn't known that until she returned from Edolas.

Setting that book to the side, she rested her head in her hands. Her breathing was labored with the effort it took to keep her emotions under wrap. She had been so foolish in her younger years, so oblivious to the obvious facts of the guild. She _knew_ that even as children Lisanna and Natsu had plans for marriage. Now that she was familiar about this mating thing, she wondered if back then Natsu had known about his relationship differences.

She felt the prickle of tears become too much as the salty water fell from her eyes. Closing them, she took even breaths-like Max had taught her-to calm down in fear of a heat wave taking over. It was these moments that having friends like Rea and Max helped a lot.

Lucy felt like she was back to square one-alone, emotionally worn, and sad.

And there was no one there to tell her it would get better.

* * *

><p>Lucy didn't as much as look at the second book until the third day on the ferry. The third colony was a lot farther away from the Northern ones, and would take an entire weeks travel to get there, so she took her time in dealing with the second, thicker book. She needed some time to calm down from her epiphany.<p>

So she decided to try communicating with a couple people on the second day to get Natsu and Max out of her head. Although she met no one worth keeping around in her life, she did find some useful information about the third colony.

The large city the ferry would dock at was called Claytondale, it was the capital of the colony. The first colony had been an agricultural based island, the second medical based, and the third one was military based. Lucy was heading to the colony that was in charge of the kingdom's army and military training.

Which explained the enormous amount of male passengers on the boat. They were probably looking for a job in the army. At that moment, Lucy decided she was looking for one too. She knew that she was more than qualified, what with being an ex member of the best guild in all of Fiore. That and her martial art skills were pretty good if she said so herself.

That and her magic. In the book that Max had given her to read during the blackout it said that her type of magic used to be very popular, but was now on the decrease. When the book was published, nearly twenty years ago, there were only thirty known celestial mages left and the majority was elderly.

For all she knew, Lucy could be the last one left.

She finally picked up the second book, and hadn't been able to put it down since. This one dealt with the Dragon Slayer's train of thought when picking out a mate, and the differences between a males perspective of mating, and a female. The book was split up into sections by the type of magic they used, and Lucy automatically started with a male fire user.

A male fire Dragon Slayer would pick a mate based off of three things. Like all males, the first thing a male fire Dragon Slayer noticed was body type, although not in the conventional sense. They take notice of the overall build of the girl in terms of strength.

The second thing they notice was temperament. Male fire dragon slayers were wild, and need a sensible, cool headed woman to look after them. A male fire Dragon Slayer tends to be easily distracted, and in these cases a smart, strong girl would be ideal-as she'll have moments in which she would need to protect herself AND him.

The third thing, and most important, was magic. Male fire Dragon Slayers are very aggressive, meaning in most cases a sparring partner would be needed-or another mage. The type of magic the woman uses also comes into play. Compatible magic would be considered a less violent, more supportive type. Although a male fire Dragon Slayer does not think as far as an offspring when choosing their mate consciously, their choices in the type of mages the mate with are also survival based as well. A supportive mage's child is more likely to take on the fire Dragon Slayer traits in the magical department.

Skipping a couple pages, Lucy looked to the relationship likely hood of Natsu's magic and hers. All in all, her magic was pretty compatible with him. She was considered a high level supportive magic, and if her and Natsu were to have children, there was a slightly higher chance for her to give birth to a Dragon Slayer than a Celestial Mage.

In the same breath, Lisanna's takeover magic was equally suitable.

She laughed bitterly, because this was just another aspect of the story of her life.

She seemed to be the one that was always so close, yet so far away. Not quite good enough. She should just expect that there would be always be second best. The runner up.

* * *

><p>She didn't read anymore of the book that day, but the day the ferry would dock she looked up her other Dragon Slayer friends, or more specifically-Wendy. The book pretty much pinpointed her personality-sweet, caring, and most likely unsure of her own power until her adult years. A female wind Dragon Slayer matures slowly sexually, and that reflects in their mate choices. Not until they are in full adult hood (Natsu's main time span was late teens, early adult hood) will they began their search. Female Dragon Slayers have different mating requirements. Instead of them looking for one male, she chooses from a hand full of suitors. Lucy tried to picture an older Wendy with a trail of men following her around; the image didn't quite work in her minds eyes.<p>

Gajeel's description was pretty similar to Natsu's. Although where it said that Natsu would be a caring, intense spouse, it said Gajeel would be a very protective, sexually driven spouse. Lucy couldn't help but think of Levy and giggle. The poor girl didn't know what she was getting herself into.

A section at the end of the Dragon Slayer's mating ritual chapter caught her attention. It was about what happened when a relationship went wrong. The book said that if a Dragon Slayer and their mate get separated, a severe pain will be suffered by both parties. The Dragon Slayer will feel the mate's pain if something happens to him or her-emotionally or physically, but that connection is not two sided. The lost mate will have a range of unidentified symptoms that change per person. The longer they are a part, the more the pain will fade for the mate, but the Dragon Slayer will always have symptoms because of their lost one.

In the rare case that a Dragon Slayer begins a relationship with one mate, but finishes it with another, the separation process could be nearly deadly for the rejected mate. Although the Dragon Slayer still feels a little tug at being separated from the rejected mate, it is minor and typically passes after a couple years. For the rejected, the symptoms could range from deliriousness, intense pains in relevance to the type of magic the Dragon Slayer uses, to intense bursts of magic depending the type of magic the rejected uses. In cases that involve Shadow Dragon Slayers, the rejected is killed instantly due to the magnitude of the strength of magic they use.

There have been no known survivals of the rejected mate of any Dragon Slayer after five years.

Lucy looked up from the book, shocked. Her mother always told her not to believe everything you read. It's been six years and a half, and Lucy was still very much alive.

She supposed that there was a first for everything, and sometimes there are things that even experts don't know about their studies. Maybe she was one in a million.

The book closed with a snap, and she picked her bag up as the captain announced they had successfully docked and it was ok to get off the ferry at that time through the loud speaker.

She was the first one to step onto solid ground. Looking up, she saw large buildings, military vehicles everywhere, and even more women and men in uniform milling around.

Lucy didn't know the first thing about military standing, or what it takes to be a part of the army. Hell, she didn't even know the beginning ranks-the ones she would probably sign up for. So she picked a random solider and asked where she could get one of those uniforms for her self. The guy stiffened giving her a funny look as he pointed at his badge.

_You mean you want one of these?_

She shrugged, thinking it was pretty. _Yes, I do._

_Ok,_ He eyed her up and down, still frowning as he told her where to go to sign up for boot camp, _Go to the main office, and sign up for the try outs for the special forces._

Lucy nodded and thanked the man. She had no idea what the Special Forces did, but it sounded like an important job, so she would give it a shot.

The next person she came in contact with told her where she could find the main office.


	10. Intermission IV

**Previously:  
><strong>

**After moving in with her nurse Rea, Lucy starts dating her older brother Maxim (Who also teaches Lucy some martial arts). Their relationship is based off of fun and loving teasing, small kisses, and sly remarks. But when Max tries for a more inimate stage in their relationship Lucy rejects him. An argument ensues in which Max accuses Lucy of not being over her ex. Lucy leaves the apartment telling Rea she'll be back for dinner.  
><strong>

**Lucy and Max make up, but their relationship is strained and awkward. Max, a person who prides himself in never being late, keeps coming home late from work. This bothers Lucy but she never brings it up until Rea moves out of the apartment in favor of living with her boyfriend. It is during the house warming when Lucy decides that Max's new habit of being late has to stop. She leaves Rea and her boyfriend to look for Max.  
><strong>

**Lucy walks in on Max almost having sex with another girl. Lucy reveals her ex to be Natsu from Fairy Tail. She waits for Max to leave in the adjacent apartment complex across the street so she can pack her stuff and leave town.  
><strong>

**Max leaves a note on the table. to explain himself. In it he tells Lucy where to find things if she plans to leave. Lucy comes upon a suitcase she and Max bought together. She opens it to find books all about Dragon Slayers and another note from Max telling her take take what she will.  
><strong>

**Lucy learns of Dragon Slayers and their Mates on her way to a new colony called Claytondale, a city renown for it's military. There she decides to join the army.  
><strong>

AN:** SO SORRY THIS IS SOOOOO LATE! **I would give you a ton of excuses, but I know you don't care, so I'll settle for one: I got a job. I had to make the $$$! Plus this chappy was really hard for me to write. I'm still not very happy with it. But you guys have waited so long and I just had to upload it. It's been more than half way done for WEEKS. I just had to push it out.

**Year Seven:**

The first month of year seven found Lucy sitting in a waiting room, palms sweaty and eyes tired from a long six months of brutal training. She rocked back and forth, shifting from side to side because she _had_ to pass. She had to get her uniform, had to get her little silver badge. She couldn't wait to be able to look at her reflection in a mirror and see a clean cut army uniform starring back at her. Lucy didn't care if she got her certification by the skin of teeth-as long as she walked away with her certification she would be happy. It didn't matter if she was the last one called up to get her 'diploma' as her drill sergeant had called it, even if she preferred to be one of the first ones to get her military equipment and uniform. Traditionally, the first to get called up to the stage during graduation would be the top of the troop. Then the next best and so on. The last five or six called usually had to go through some sort of extra training.

She didn't want to be one of those people. Boot camp was already tough enough for her.

There's always that one member of a platoon that keeps screwing up, and she was the one in hers. She must have been responsible for making her peers do hundreds of extra pushups because she couldn't meet the expectations of her drill sergeant. It wasn't fair in her opinion. The drill sergeant-who was nicknamed Beefy because she was a rather large woman -would never give time limits or special rules until _after_ the last solider finished the specific activity. Nine out of ten times, it was Lucy who would be the one bring up the rear.

Beefy, for what it was worth, didn't play favorites. She hated on whom ever was bringing down the platoon, too bad that the majority of the time it was Lucy holding everyone back. So Beefy had an entire six months to figure out new and creative ways to make her stay there a living hell. Be it making everyone do extra work-besides her-just so her peers hated her, or spitting on her shoes when she came in last, or making her pick up the slack of her roommates when they slip behind on their living space hygiene.

Beefy liked to spit on her shoes the most. Even on the days Lucy did well. Like the time she ran five miles _without stopping_ in less than forty minutes (still coming in last though). No congratulations on a new record. No positive feedback. Beefy would just spit on her nice, shiny shoes (it was always nice and phlegmy) and then ridicule her for being too slow and force everyone _but _her to do another mile before dinner. She even cut the time the platoon got to eat in half because of her short comings.

After a week of this type of out come from her, the other people in her platoon began to hate her. No matter how hard she tried, how fiercely she trained, how quickly she ate her food, or how clean her sleeping area was, Beefy would find _something_ wrong and would figure out a creative way to make her peers pay.

And in the long run, make her pay. Before she came to the military, she had no idea what a 'blanket party' was, but now, she knew all about them. She even expected them now. Her peers usually decided on cornering her in the shared room on Friday nights. She never saw the blanket coming until it was over her head. The ensuing couple minutes were tortuous.

The next day Beefy would comment on her beaten appearance. Make fun of her bruises and black eyes in front of the entire platoon. Then assign a punishment for everyone to do because of how horrible she looked, even though there was nothing she could do to fix her appearance because make up wasn't allowed in the camp.

The entire six months of boot camp was like that. It was one of the single handedly hardest things that Lucy had ever forced herself to do. And that's with her heat waves included. Where those became somewhat predictable, every day at boot camp was different. Plus, there was no one there to tell her everything would be okay. What with the long days of rude comments from both her peers and Beefy and the agonizing physical work outs, each day became harder and harder to bare. The frequently sleepless nights filled with body aches and dangerous thoughts were also an added bonus to her already full emotional load. The nights were even harder when she had to deal with fresh bruises.

But what made all that as unbearable as it happened to be was the fact that she didn't have a single friend. No one looked out for her; they only shoved her under the bus whenever it seemed fit. She must have gotten into trouble for things she hadn't done a gazillion times just because someone didn't want to take the blame for their misdeeds.

She learned to deal with it though because if she objected, her punishment would be far worst because Beefy _loved _making her life as difficult as possible.

She kept tabs on who took advantage of her rotten relationship with Beefy, and nearly every one of her peers had by the end of boot camp. Her bunk mate, a scrawny eighteen year old boy named Ernest, was the only one who treated her like a human being. He never did it openly, but when she was alone, he would whisper encouraging words to her. Nothing long or overly thoughtful, but it was just enough to get her through another day.

Some nights, about half way through the six months of hell, she felt like quitting. A girl could only take so much before something broke inside her, and she was nearing that borderline. Some would say she was already straddling it. But Ernest would pop his head down to her bunk, and although she couldn't see his face in the dark, she imagined a wide smile would grace his features, and spiky pink hair would top his head. She didn't even need to hear his soft words because her head would substitute a different voice and speech instead. _Hey ya weirdo, why are you crying? I don't see any spilled milk here._

It was funny how clear her mind could portray his happy go lucky voice so many years later. She heard his voice every time she thought of him, and he would always be saying something goofy and encouraging like that. Granted, she only really thought about her old voice at night. During the day, her thoughts didn't trail over to him all that often. She was too busy trying to keep up with the rest of her platoon to let that happen. But on particularly hard nights, she would think of him and her old nakama because it was better than thinking of her current predicament.

Go figure. If someone told her that she would see _Natsu_ of all people as an outlet for stress she would have scoffed at them and probably said that he was the reason her hair was going to be gray before she even reached the age of fifty. But then again, she wouldn't have believed anyone who told her she would end up joining the army either.

And as she waited for Beefy to begin the graduation she realized that if all that had happened to her hadn't happened (Natsu cheating, the heat waves, the physical stress of traveling without a home to go back to) she probably would have dropped out of boot camp by the third month. But no amount of emotional pain and physical torture could break the resolve deep down to prove to herself that she was worth _something_. That Natsu was a fool to pick Lisanna as his mate, and not her.

Shaking her head, Lucy eyed the room around her. She shouldn't be thinking of _him_ at a time like this. She didn't know what she should be thinking about, but it wasn't supposed to be him.

But for the love of god, she couldn't help but wonder about what has changed in the last seven years. She knew she'd changed enough for the entire guild probably, but she wanted to know what was happening behind the walls of Fairy Tail at that very moment. Could something as important be taking place at the exact same time? A first born child? A marriage?

And as of late, she had found herself wondering if they'd actually looked for her. Did they put any effort into bringing her back? Mentally shrugging, she figured she'd never know because she had no intentions of going back to her old guild anytime.

Finally, the lights at the front of the stage flickered on as Beefy appeared on the left side. She pushed back the curtain, her brown curly hair pulled back in a tight bun. She wore her normal uniform, and Lucy briefly wondered if she ever washed the thing.

Something was odd about her. Narrowing her eyes Lucy decided it was her expression. Typically she was stern and mean looking, but as her eyes roamed the crowd of people something seemed different. She looked proud, and as her eyes landed on Lucy, that didn't change. In fact a small- so small that if Lucy wasn't watching her like a hawk she would have missed it-smile passed over her lips when her dark eyes met Lucy's brown. She walked up to the microphone and cleared her throat.

The first order of business that she got out of her way was why she was late to the ceremony. She admitted that it was a hypercritical of her to be late to something as important as this considering she preached punctuality during the boot camp. She said that there was a mistake six months ago. That one person in this platoon was supposed to be in a level three platoon at the highest. This one was a level five. The lowest platoon level-a one-was for amateurs. People who didn't know a single thing about combat or physical exercise. Level six was the highest. Many worked their way up to that level. Level fives were placed there for their advanced combat training or magical power.

She figured Natsu would probably rank at level five easily.

Beefy continued on with her speech, saying that this person would be awarded greatly for what they accomplished by being named the top of the platoon. She said that this person pushed themselves to the maximum to keep up with their peers, and also took whatever curve came their way with grace. Beefy said that because of this, that person would be ultimately put through into special training to become an elite member of the Special Forces because the military needed someone with such dedication as a part of the lead forces.

Imagine Lucy's surprise when her name was the first one Beefy called to the stage.

* * *

><p>The day she came face to face with the lowlife attendant she met on the first day in Claytondale was a sweet one indeed. She always figured that the sexist pig had a hand in the difficulties she had when dealing with boot camp. She thought that he must have assigned her to the most brutal drill sergeant he could manage to get her to teach her to <em>not<em> be defensibly rude to people who handle her future affairs.

But she did not think he would go as far as to 'accidentally' place her in a rank two times higher than she was supposed to be. The only reason she snapped at him that day was because he said that she wasn't going to make it two weeks in the Special Forces training because of her _gender_.

_Her gender._

It was safe to say that she completely lost it. That her mind went right out the window as she lost her cool on this sorry excuse of a man. Looking back on it, she sure as hell didn't seem like the type that would look for a serious job in the military. In fact she seemed more like the delinquent, temperamental child that got shipped off by their fed up parents.

But now, she held her head high as Beefy filled the papers out for her extra training. She was to be put in the training that makes or breaks the future stars of the military. She hoped it made it because as her eyes never left the shrewd man before her, brown eyes burning with barley concealed anger.

Handing the papers over to the man, Beefy fixed him with her withering blank stare. The same one that scared the shit out of Lucy for six months. She told him that if he slipped up again, she would see to it that his job be revoked.

Before he could reply, Beefy escorted Lucy out of the office. In one week she would begin the next bout of training. Beefy had already briefed her on the details of her training, and what would be expected of her.

Apparently the next camp she was going to was located on the other side of Claytondale. This side was known as the 'restricted side' to the local citizens because the army had inclusive control on it. According to Beefy, it was the testing ground for war weapons, remedies, and new magic, but also the training zone for the most elite warriors of the entire Fiore military. The rocky mountain terrain of the west tested endurance and survival skills. Groups of five or less would be dropped onto the middle of the mountain for who knows how long. The ones that survive without any outside aid go onto the next part of the restricted area. The desert plains of the east were used for combat training, as it was key to learn how to fight in the most unsightly weather that way fighting in pleasant weather would be a piece of cake. Some people never got past this part of training- no matter how many times they went through the ranks of the military. In the south was the ocean, used for water training and aquatic endurance. It was also used for certain magic training. Lucky for Lucy, she didn't need to worry about that. But Unluckily for her, she is the user of a rare type of magic. Beefy told her that her new superiors will probably have her do some sort of training there as well.

The northern section was a forest. Used for finalizing the training experience. The first month spent there is used to hone magical skill. The second was another survival test like the one in the mountain. Except there were monsters involved in the forest. Big, toothy, scary monsters with sharp claws.

Despite herself, Lucy felt excitement well up in her chest. After six months without using her keys, she couldn't wait to start her training up again. She was also pretty eager to see what the training with Beefy had changed in her physical abilities when she actually applied them to real life situations.

Two weeks couldn't go by fast enough for her.

* * *

><p>And she thought boot camp with Beefy was hard. Scoffing to herself, Lucy hunched over, the mountainous terrain of the west was taking a toll on her muscles. No, it wasn't her superiors that were making life hard for her this time, they were actually quite nice. No, the physical exertion needed to complete this part of training was far more taxing than the boot camp activities. It was only a couple days into it, and Lucy was already exhausted. The sun was so hot, but the ground was covered in snow so she had boots, jackets, and pants on. She was <em>dying<em>. She needed _water_. But she was scared that if she drank any more she wouldn't be able to make it to the next stream to fill it back up.

The people she was traveling with weren't looking much better, which put Lucy's self conscious mind to rest. As long as she wasn't the only one struggling with the task at hand, she was happy.

But already she didn't see how she would survive another three weeks of this without needing help from the people watching over. They had _at_ _least _a days travel until they came to a stream. Granted, it could be even longer as she wasn't sure if they were heading in the right direction.

* * *

><p>Around the second week into the survival test, Lucy snapped. Her group wasn't listening to her. It was like whatever she said, someone would say something to completely push her words aside. So when they were looking for <em>another<em> water source because _no one_ listened to her when she said they should make camp for a bit by the water until they got there bearings while living in the odd climate of the mountains, Lucy decided that she would leave the group and travel on her own.

She figured her group was more concerned about impressing the higher ranked officers that were most likely watching. But by doing that they were ignoring the point of the training. To survive. By the looks of how things were going now, the majority of the group would be pass out by the end of the day if they kept following the idiot that took the lead role of the group.

They were looking for a waterfall that someone who'd done this before had remembered seeing in this general area. But they were traveling downhill. If there was one thing that traveling with Team Natsu back in the day taught her, it was that pools of water-especially water falls were found while traveling uphill.

So she lost it on her group and said that she was going to go her own way-and if anyone wanted to find water before nightfall-then they should hurry up and follow her.

Everyone did.

And low and behold, a couple of hours later, a large waterfall came into view.

Much to Lucy's relief, her group listened to her when she said they should hang low in this area for a while. Fires were made, shelters constructed, and a hunting routine made. By the end of the three week trial, her entire group made in through to the next test.

And Lucy had a new sense of self confidence about her because she _finally_ accomplished something worth while.

* * *

><p>Sweat dripped down from her brow and into her eyes, but she couldn't stop long enough to wipe it away. The salt stung, but her skin was blistering, there were bruises in places she didn't think she <em>could<em> bruise, and her body ached in ways she only felt during rough missions with Team Natsu.

That was over _seven years ago_.

She could deal with the annoying stinging sensation in her eyes. It was the least of her worries at the moment.

She was much keener of keeping out of the flying kicks and punches way. She was completely surrounded by four highly trained military personnel.

Despite the number of people she was up against, she doubted she landed one hit on any of them yet.

They'd already been at it for fifteen minutes now, and she needed water, shade, _a break_. The days prior to this had been something like this. Nothing really changed in the middle of the desert. The sky was always blue. The sun always hot. The ground always sandy. The nights always ridiculously cold. The days were filled with training.

Her lessons with Max really helped her here. The background he gave her in fighting both defensively and offensively was different from what the people of the military were used to seeing. Apparently Max practiced an almost obsolete art, which gave her an edge when competing with her peers.

She'd quickly showed dominance over even the best fighters during the one on one trials. Maybe it was her agility, and her duck and weave method opposed to their blunt power method. Maybe her high pain tolerance gave her the extra boast of strength to outlast her opponents just when she needed it. Maybe she just caught her competition off guard with her martial arts skills.

Either way it landed her on a career path leading her to the elite of the elite. She already proved to her superiors that she had what it took to continue to the next part of training. Now the only thing that stopped her from achieving the greatness she craved was four measly men.

She didn't care if it killed her, _she would defeat them all_.

In the back of her mind she knew that it wasn't her different way of fighting, or her pain tolerance that made her so successful compared to her peers. She had the willpower from years of hard trials and almost breakdowns as a backup force. She had felt real pain, and the hardships present by the desert didn't hold a candle to that.

As a well aimed punched smashed into the small of her back and a hard kick caught her in the side she tasted blood on her tongue. Something clicked inside her, and her fingers twitched as an elbow connected with the back of her skull.

Falling to her knees, Lucy clenched her teeth as white pain ran down her spine. Her vision blurred and began to pulse, a heat stirred in her stomach that had been dormant for so long that she almost forgot what the familiar hotness meant. With wide unfocused True, agonizing pain ripped from her abdomen to her fingers. Her world turned white, save for the outline of someone standing right next to her. She heard the shots of the military men, as she peaked over at the figure.

It was Loke.

Then nothing.

* * *

><p>The minute she awoke, she was thrown into magical training.<p>

When she had time alone during her breaks in training she spent it strengthening her bonds with her spirits so she could summon them without actually having her keys on her—starting with Loke. For about an hour a day she would work on a mental link with the lion spirit.

She was proud to say she was getting pretty good at it. Sometimes, she could just think about him and he would pop up in her head. When she sat down and actually tried, she could sometimes see him, his gestures as he talked, and on really good days, she could make out the scenery around him.

Slowly, there bond as spirit and mage was growing, their combined power strengthening and sharpening.

So when she was overwhelmed by the spar in the desert, her body went into shock. In turn, a strong heat wave made of pent up frustrations, pain, and metal turmoil rolled over her. Those months with Beefy had finally surfaced, along with the oncoming panic of the current situation. The resulting heat wave blew her off her feet.

But this time, something different happened. The heat didn't spread throughout her entire body, it didn't break whatever resolve she'd built since the last one either.

It did quite the opposite.

What happened differently was the ending. Instead of the heat reaching levels so high her body couldn't handle the pain, it exited through her hands in a large bright light. It spread a good couple yards around her, engulfing the military personnel around her.

According to the people watching, when the light dimmed her foes had been knocked out, and she was still on her hands and knees-breath coming hard and body shaking.

But technically still in the fight.

A couple seconds had gone by before she collapsed onto the ground, but it was enough to deem her the winner of the battle.

And also enough to send the judging party into a frenzy. After the medical staff put Lucy in stable condition the major division of the military held a short notice meeting about her, and her unusual display of power.

They decided on opting her out of her water training and signing her up for extra magic control lessons.

When asked, the judging party said they had not seen her spirit on the field beside her.

* * *

><p>The first 24 hours of the final trial was supposed to be the easiest. Sure, Beefy had conveniently left out some important details—Lucy didn't know she would be dropped off in the middle of nowhere <em>alone<em>. Nor did she know that there would be no aid from the outside watchers. If she was in trouble she would have to rely on her willpower and smarts to get through. People died during this trial. According to Beefy, those people always passed on towards the end when the more ferocious monsters were released into the forest. She said the first day would be simple. Find shelter, find water.

Trust Lucy to come into contact with a frighteningly large monster on the first night. The sun just sunk behind the trees. She was caught up in a near frantic search for shelter. It'd taken all day to find the river, and now that she was there, she had no interest in wandering further into the forest in search of a place to sleep.

She was so engrossed in her search she didn't hear the telltale sounds of a stalking predator. Not until it snorted. She'd frozen so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. The sound came from across the river, and as she focused her eyes to the bushes across the way she could just barely make out the narrow eyes of her stalker.

Her training had taught her to act bigger if she were to ever come in contact with a beast. Especially one during the night. She was supposed to stare it directly in the eye and show it that she was not scared of it, and that it should be scared of her if anything.

She knew that.

So she didn't understand why she turned tail and ran for the forest. Maybe she thought it wouldn't come after her because it was across the river?

Of course she was wrong.

Behind her she heard the splashing as the beast crossed the river. From what she could hear it was fast and big. She'd made it maybe a couple feet into the forest before it made it through the river, and from the loud panting she figured she had less than a minute to figure something out.

Jumping to the side she pressed her back to a tree. Lucky for it was big enough to support her as she leaned into it. Her breathing was coming hard, and try as she might she couldn't mute it even partially. She crossed her hands over her mouth in hopes of muffling the sound, and when it didn't she began to shake in fear.

Could she be the first person to die on the first night of the trial? Knowing her track record with odds, probably. The cracking of sticks made it to her ears. She barely held back a gasp, her heart beating so fast she could feel it in her throat.

It was so close to her. A couple steps and it'd be upon her. One hand pulled away from her mouth to unhook her whip. Her whole arm began to tremble with the effort to keep the whip in her hand and not on the ground. Her fingers were numb—from fear or the cold she was not sure. She wondered what Natsu would do in a situation like this? Would he have retreated? No. The dragon slayer probably would have launched himself across the river to meet the predator in combat. With a new resolve, Lucy took in a deep breath. If she wanted to be half the mage her ex was, then she would have to be a little braver about the whole situation at hand.

The beast stopped, all sounds just a whisper in the late summer wind.

A second of silence.

If it weren't for the training in combat given to her by the military and Max, she wouldn't have noticed the hitch in the beast's breath before it attacked. It only gave her a narrow time frame to act, and she knew as she moved that she wouldn't be able to completely avoid the attack—but it wouldn't be a one hit K-O either.

She rolled to the side, an intense throbbing pain bursting to life when it's _claw_ grazed the side of her neck. Her free hand slapped to the wound, the slippery blood oozing from it coating her hands. The scratch was deep. She needed to finish this thing fast before she lost too much blood.

She ducked again, cursing violently when the beast clipped her right shoulder. When the pain hit she dropped her whip. Looking up with wide eyes, she saw nothing but the outline of a large animal standing on its back legs. It was burly, the silhouette of its arms thick. There was no moon to give light to anything else.

The beast lurched forward with a mighty roar. Lucy took a couple steps back until the heel of her foot bumped into a skinny tree. The hand on her neck reached behind her and gripped the sapling with an iron fist.

The beast hurtled forward; Lucy side stepped, and whipped the baby tree as hard as she could. It hit its mark on the beast, sending it staggering backwards, and with an angry growl the beast backed off a bit. Lucy gritted her teeth and placed her hand on her neck again. Raising her other hand she raised it above her head. The scratch on her shoulder came alive with pain, but she didn't have time to dwell on it.

Picturing Loke, she drew him to her consciousness. His concerned face emerged from the darkness, and he raised her hand along with her. Just like she and he were taught to do during the extra training lessons together.

Despite how her figure quivered, her voice sounded strong. _Regulus Impact_.

Her hand began to glow, and as the Loke's face morphed into a bright blur, the light of her hand merged into his vision until her hand shook with power her lion spirit had leant her. She aimed it at the advancing beast, which had slowed to a cautious step as the light of her hand became brighter.

The beast had the body of a bear. It stood on its hind legs, sleek black fur reflecting the light from her charging attack. The beast's face was one of a large mountain cat, and as it bared its sharp teeth, Lucy brought her hand in front of her. With a yell she released the lion shaped attack.

The impact nailed the bear cat directly in the chest, toppling it over. With her breath coming quickly, Lucy held her hand out to charge up for another attack as the bear cat stirred. She stepped towards it, her hand aimed at its head. Fear reflected in its eyes, and she imagined it saw the same thing when it was advancing on her. The hand clutching her neck twitched. She wondered what the beast had been thinking when it'd hit her the way it did.

She began to shake again. The look in the bear cat's eyes was almost human. Like it actually feared for its life. Lucy wondered if it had a family waiting for its return. A little bear cat waiting for dinner back at a den. Was it just doing what it had to do to survive?

Was she any different from this animal?

Lowering her hand, she let the light disperse. She leveled her gaze and began to slowly back away from the beast. She couldn't kill it. She was brought up to believe that every life mattered, that no matter what happens, each action has a reason.

Taking a deep breath, her eyes began to water. Not because of her scratches, or her failure to kill the beast and possibly save her own life. No, she let the tears fall because she couldn't get _him _out of her head. It was such an inopportune moment, but his words popped into her mind, and they wouldn't leave. Was she so pathetic she couldn't control her own thoughts? Even when she should be focusing on _not_ getting herself killed.

_No matter how horrible or misguided my opponent seems, I'll never take a life. It's just not something I want to carry around for the rest of my life_.

She remembered the light air to his words, the gentle touch of his hand on her forearm. It'd been years since she'd last seen him, but she still remembered his face like she last saw him yesterday. No matter how much she resent him, she could never hate him. No matter how much she wanted to be her own person, she wouldn't be hole if she forget what he taught her, what she experienced with him.

Or his words.

She turned as the beast let out a weak growl. She would have looked over her shoulder, but the scratch there made doing so difficult. She jogged off in hopes of re-finding the river.

At the very least she hoped to clean her wounds. She wouldn't want them to get infected.

* * *

><p>The morning light of the last day in the forest woke her up. She sat up, adjusting the makeshift bandages on her shoulder and neck. She last changed them two days ago, and was in desperate need of actual medical attention. She didn't really have any usable fabric from her clothes left to use as replacement bandages so she prayed the ones she already had would hold out until sunset.<p>

That's when she thought people would show up to get her.

But then again, she wasn't one hundred percent sure this was the right day either. She wasn't exactly keeping track of time that had passed until the seventh or eighth day into it. For all she knew she could be way off.

But she would treat it as any other day. Hang low, hide, and eat to keep the little strength she had left up. Her wounds from the first night were painful, and more so than not made sleep hard. Probably infected too. Deep down she didn't think she'd sleep very well if she was healthy anyway. With all the movement and monsters in the area, she needed to be as alert as possible. That didn't leave much room for sleep.

Slipping further into the little cave, she rested her feet in the water. The night the bear cat attacked she was able to make a small shelter out of rocks by the riverside. She figured it would due for one night, but when morning came she didn't see herself making it very far if she left. Not in her condition. The past month or so she'd been living off of the nearby berry bush and an occasional fish. She built a fire, and pretty much slaved over it. It offered sterilization, warmth, and protection.

She found out rather fast that most of the beasts by the river were large and scary looking, but deathly afraid of fire. As long as she kept it going, they wouldn't bother her.

So she sat there next to her berries, trying not to move very much in fear of bleeding her bandages out.

As the sunset no help ever came.

* * *

><p>Three days.<p>

That's how much longer she had to wait for help.

She didn't register the hands and pokes and voices. Her eyes were open, but unseeing. She was breathing. Her heart was beating. But she wasn't thinking. Her body throbbed, her neck especially.

She didn't register anything.

Her vision blotched, and she felt her breathing become ragged with effort—even though she wasn't moving. She couldn't feel her toes. Her lips were cold, and there was no sound. Just the occasion flash of light.

Her world stopped.

Total blackness, complete serenity. She was no longer in pain, her eyes blinked open.

She saw nothing. Reaching out, she touched nothing.

Turning her head, she was relieved to feel no stab of pain. But she jumped in surprise when she came face to face with a familiar face. Her mouth opened to scream, but nothing came out.

Her hair was longer than she remembered, the white color odd in the black surroundings. Kind, almost sorrowful blue eyes stared back at her with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Although she looked like Mirajane, Lucy somehow knew it was Lisanna. Unlike the older sister, she had a certain air of shyness to her. Like she was very uncomfortable. Mirajane was never uncomfortable with Lucy, and Lisanna was always. For good reason too. The white haired girl opened her mouth as to talk, but when nothing came out she paused in shock.

Instead she shook her head, smiled sadly and mouthed something to Lucy before laying a ghostly pale hand on her forehead. Lisanna began to fade, and so did Lucy. Her body felt like it was being pulled in all directions, but she wasn't moving. Then like she'd been shoved back into a tight space, everything stopped.

She felt like she was floating, her fingers felt fat.

And she began to wonder.

Cause she swore Lisanna had mouthed _Not Yet_ to her.

How odd.

* * *

><p>Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Her brown eyes without make up, her face unsoiled by foundation. Her lips, a bit chapped, but still pink and plump. She wore the brown and green uniform of the Special Forces squad, the material wrinkle and stain free. Around her neck was an olive colored scarf. It had a bronze star embroidered on it that matched the star on her right shoulder pad. It served as both a symbol of status when in public as only the highest of highly ranked soldiers' were given the scarf. Lucy used it as a method of hiding the ugly scar that was left from the bear cat's attack from her final trial.<p>

She had a matching one on her shoulder too, but it wasn't as bad as the one on her neck. She hated looking at that one, even if she should be proud of it. It curled around her, three large claw marks on the left side of the column of her neck. It wasn't because it almost killed her, no, that wasn't the main reason for her habit of averting her eyes from the mirror. The angle was exactly the same as _his_ scar on _his_ neck, and maybe that was why she couldn't bear to look at it.

Like a constant reminder of what she left behind, and what resulted from her actions. Sometimes she wondered if she was fated to always remember him. No matter where life took her, she _had_ to have him lingering in the back of her consciousness. Now, she even saw him when she looked herself in the mirror, scarf on or scarf off.

Taking a deep breath, Lucy tried to quell the shaking of her hands as she moved away from the mirror. She'd just been released from the hospital three days ago and she was already assigned to a group mission. About a week had passed with her bed ridden as her health came back to her. The month in the forest had left her malnourished, gravely injured, and close to dead. By the time the sunset on the last day, healers came for her. She overheard one of her nurses talking about it outside her door on the day of her discharge from the infirmary. No one had told her, but it seemed like all her medical staff knew that for at least fifteen minutes during her transfer from forest to sick room she had lost her heart beat.

As easily as it'd left her, it'd come back. No doctor or healer could explain why. The nurse she'd been eavesdropping on had chucked it up to nothing less of a miracle.

It'd taken three top healers of the military a full week to heal her; but Lucy was sure Wendy could do it alone in half the time it took them. The girl-even seven years ago-was a much better healer than the three combined. Lucy missed the little girl. A lot.

Shaking her head, she turned her bedroom light off. She lived within a military base now, and because of her rank in the army they gave her a room to herself. It was a ten minute walk to the meeting room. She had to be there in five.

Lucy sprinted out the door. Leave it to her to be late to her very first mission debriefing. She hadn't even met her coworkers yet! Scoffing to herself, Lucy figured that first impressions weren't really her strong suit anyway.

* * *

><p>The leader of her squad was no other than the man she met on the docks of Claytondale fresh off the dock. She recognized him instantly, short dark hair, a mole in the center of his forehead, and a muscular frame. From the looks of it he recognized her. He smiled halfheartedly at her, poking the newly acquired badge on her uniform.<p>

_I see you were able to get one of these for yourself after all._

Smiling, Lucy nodded shyly. He welcomed her to her new team, introducing himself and the other to her as he guided her to her seat at the rectangular table. She thought it was weird that he introduced her to them using first names. She figured there would be honorifics and last names involved. His name was Troy. He was a mage that specialized in telepathy. It took Lucy a second to realize that no one else had heard his confession about his magic besides her.

Lucy was reminded of Warren.

Out loud Troy continued around the table, the other guy was small-almost frail looking. His pale skin brought out the milky brown of his eyes. It freaked her out a bit. The guy's eyes were nothing like she'd ever seen. He had bright red hair braided down his back. His mouth was pulled down into a thin frown.

His name was Beck. Troy explained that he was blind, but was blessed with the magic ability to morph what others could see. He could also see the surroundings through another's point of view with great clarity if he touched them. He could see in the dark when no one else could. Lucy wondered if that was because he lived in a world of darkness anyway.

Without giving Lucy time to introduce herself to Beck, Troy launched into debriefing her on the upcoming mission. He went on to say he was very surprised that the council chose this mission as her first, as it had a five out of five star difficulty level. It was called the _Dark Forest Investigation_, and was a mission directly from the council. The weird part about the mission was that the objective was identical to a mission completed a good five years ago by the Fairy Tail Guild.

For her part, Lucy only averted her eyes. It took a ridiculous amount of self control to not blurt out questions about the guild. She couldn't remember the last time she heard anyone speak of her old guild without knowing her full history with them. She hadn't heard any news of her old comrades, and now that she was she couldn't help but ask for more detail. Troy was more than happy to give it.

_The mission was given to Fairy Tail after six failed attempts from the military. _Troy passed over a folder, nodding at Lucy to read it.

In it was the original flyer, she hadn't seen one of these in seven and a half years. Her heart flip flopped in her chest as she touched the crumbled piece of paper. She wondered if Natsu had touched it to. Mentally shaking her head to clear her thoughts she focused on what the flyer said.

_S Class Mage Team Required for Dark Forest Investigation_

_Repetitive Military Failure to Complete Mission_

_S Mage Team will Team up with Special Force Team from Military_

_Case: Unidentified magical disturbances in massive natural magic force field around center of forest. This field seems to be protecting unidentified matter._

_Objective: Find Magical disturbance in Dangerous Magical Driven Forest and vanquish it_

_Reward: Cash reward to be debated._

_*More information will be given by Master Makarov*_

Lucy flipped the flyer over, smiling to herself. So that old pervert was still alive five years ago?

Underneath the flyer was an ending analysis of the mission, complete with death totals and various details about the forest.

_The Dark forest is notorious for its wildlife and climate. Within the dense foliage the plants prey on the animals. Scientists have proven that the bigger plants do have heartbeats, and have stomachs that can digest meat. _

_The animals are fierce, most violent. Avoidance is recommended._

_Navigation of the **lit trail** (revealed during exploration 32) is recommended. The center of the forest has only been reached once by military forces (accompanied with Team Lucky of Fairy Tail) and this trail lead that group to it._

_Case: Unidentified magical disturbances in massive natural magic force field around center of forest. This field seems to be protecting unidentified matter._

_Possible consequences (from less to worst): Earthquakes, fires, floods, supernovas/ complete depletion of magic on Earth._

_Possible cause (most likely to least): Magic overload, Outside interference, Inside interference._

_Warnings: Do not touch magic force field._

_**Cause: Dark guild [Bloody Bone] interference 45 members**_

_**Motive: Obtain ultimate magical power, rebellion, obtain inner source of power behind force field**_

_**Conclusion: Disturbance resolved.**_

_**Notes: Source of magic for force field unknown. Inside force field unknown**_

_**Total deaths: 114**_

_**Military: 68**_

_**Guild: 1**_

_**Ememy: 45**_

_**Wounded: 67**_

_**Military: 63**_

_**Guild: 4**_

_**Captives taken: 0**_

_**Criminals escaped: 0**_

_**Bodies found: 1/2 **_

Her eyes zoomed in on the death toll from Fairy Tail. One. One person had died on that mission. One person had passed on, and she had no idea, not even a clue that one of her Nakama now resided underneath a grave.

_Who?_

The word left her mouth before she could stop it. Her hand cupped her lips in mortification at her slip up.

Troy raised an eyebrow. _What?_

Sighing, Lucy shook her head, eyes trained on that one number.

_You are an ex Fairy Tail mage, right?_ Troy asked as he stood. Eyes trained on the death toll of the mission as well. Lucy nodded, not trusting her voice to remain calm if she spoke.

_I don't know whose behind that number Lucy, but I do recall who accompanied me to the forest._ Lucy looked up in shock, he'd been a survivor from the Special Forces team that accompanied Team Lucky?

_Team Lucky was made up of six mages. Erza Scarlet, Gray Fullbuster, Levy Mcgarden, Gajeel Redfox, Lisanna Strauss, and the leader, Natsu Dragoneel._

Lucy's breath hitched. All the people she cared about had gone to that forest. One of them had died. One of them had passed away, and she missed the funeral. Tears prickled at her eyes, but Lucy refused to let them fall. Across from her Beck stood up, hand grasping Troy's arm as he stood as well.

_I swore I would never go back. _Troy whispered as the clock struck noon. It was time to depart. He looked to Lucy. _I'll give you and Beck more detail about our mission on the ferry to the main land._

Sighing he grabbed his bag, his gun, and his canteen. He muttered something under his breath, but Lucy only caught the very end of it. _Off to Magnolia we go._

Lucy choked on her own spit.

**End of Intermission.**


	11. Chapter 11

Warning: There will be swearing, lots of swearing in this chapter. You have been warned!

Previously:

Lucy spent the duration of her seventh year participating in military training. After making in through basic boot camp by the skin of her teeth (and being targeted by bullies in her platoon for the entire six months) she finds out that the jerk receptionist at the main office sorted her into the wrong class. Instead of being placed in a level two training regiment she was placed in a level five which is advanced. Because she never gave up and even improved enough to keep up with her peers Beefy, the drill sergeant decided she had the stuff to go into the special forces after all.

During her training as a special forces agent Lucy developed her survival skills, her magic capability (she can now use Loke's attacks without summoning him, and even without having his key on her), she also became an expert martial artist, taking out the elite masters she had to fight against to get to through the training-even if she did this with the help of a heat wave.

She only encountered real trouble on the final exam, which was a test of everything she'd learned. She had to live in the harsh environment of the wilderness for an entire month without help from the superiors training her (people have died on this test). Fearsome monsters thrive in the mountainous area she has to live, and on her first night she encounters an beast she calls a 'bear cat' because of how it looks. It beats her up pretty well, leaving deep wounds on her neck and shoulder. She gets the better of it after a struggle, and has the option to kill it but doesn't because of something Natsu once said to her.

She spent the rest of the month simply trying to stay alive as she has no medicine to treat her severe wounds. She has a close encounter with death, and would be dead if not for the superiors that rescued her after the test had finished.

After she heals she is appointed to her new team: The leader Troy, and her coworker Beck who is blind. They debrief her on her first mission which takes place in The Dark Forest which is on the outskirts of Magnolia. They will be teaming up with Fairy Tail for the mission. She also finds out that The military had teamed up with Fairy Tail for a similar mission involving the forest. That mission ended with a hesitant victory, but with lots of casualties. Including one from Fairy Tail.

Now Lucy is one her way with her new team to Fairy Tail.

* * *

><p>Part Two: Miracles<p>

I.

Lucy always thought that the members of the military would have some sort of special privileges. She pictured large rooms, good meals, free trips, and good pay checks when she first signed up for the army. How wrong she'd been. Her entire trip to the main land of Fiore ended up being rather unpleasant. Even though they traveled wearing the Special Forces uniform there were no special accommodations, no special treatment.

The three day ferry trip to the main land had been the worst situation so far. The captain had an obvious hatred for military personnel, and when he saw them waiting on the deck she could imagine him smiling evilly-jotting down notes on how to make their stay as miserable as humanely possible. The mental image of one of those cliché bad guys from the children cartoons with the curly mustache, _maniacal laughter, and fiddling fingers came to her as she looked upon him with narrowed eyes. She would never know why he held the army in such low regard, and truthfully she didn't want to know because that would mean encountering the man more than this one time. _

_He gave them a small room that smelled of _asbestos. The cheap white paint on the walls peeled when touched. The stained carpet felt crusty on bare feet, and when the lights went out at the end of the day, Lucy swore she saw movement in the dark recesses of the room. The bed, small and lumpy, squeaked with every minute movement she made.

To top it off, the room had little to no ventilation unless the door was propped open. The stagnant air constricted around her, making sleep exceptionally hard to grasp. Not to mention Beck. The blind man had a tendency to become gassy when he relaxed. The only sign of an incoming stink bomb would be his sheepish snort, as he happened to be the 'silent but deadly type' as Troy had put it.

Beck by nature didn't seem to be a talkative man. He rarely spoke, and when he did the sentence could be counted on to be short, precise, and curt. Or at least when the words were aimed at Troy. In the rare occurrence that Beck spoke to Lucy his comments always borderlined on being rude. It didn't matter what she did for him. Once, she brought him some lunch when Troy left to do some work, and even the small 'thank you' seemed scornful to her. It felt like her first couple weeks with Fairy Tail all over again. Back then she'd been constantly worried about being judged, but now, she need not worry of being judged. No, she already knew Beck had been judging her. The more time she spent with him the ruder he treated her. By the last day on the ferry Lucy found herself close to snapping at him.

To say the least, Lucy wanted to jump with joy when the Ferry touched land in Fiore. Despite it meaning she'd have only five more days to mentally prepare herself for reuniting with Fairy Tail, the thought of spending another night in that nasty room with Beck made her want to pull her own hair out. Although the man remained silent most of the time she could _feel_ his resolve to not make contact with her. She just wanted to go up and ask him what he had against her, and on several occasions almost did. But one look at him, looking all displeased and irritable had her deterred. If he already held her in such low regard and disliked her company that much she could only imagine what he would do if she told him off. The fact that she needed to work with him still held her anger at bay. Barely. She couldn't quite wrap her head around that he decided he didn't want anything to do with her without uttering more than a couple choice words to her.

Instead, she tried to focus on the town she'd just landed in a little bit ago. To think it'd taken over a month to get where she currently stood on foot from her old guild seven years ago befuddled her. She remembered the harsh trip like it happened yesterday. The last time she ventured into Cresten held dark memories for her, and as she remembered she wondered if she'd be better off picking a fight with Beck after all. Although at lot had changed since she stayed at the inn, for example she no longer had to struggle financially, she no longer had to wander around without a cause, and her pain had been under control for months. Mostly. But in some instances parts of her hadn't changed at all. She still felt angry and hurt when she thought about her old friends. She still had a hard to time dealing with the reality of her past, which she hoped she'd come to terms with by the time she returned to Fairy Tail—if she returned to Fairy Tail.

Now, due to some twist of fate, she'd be returning to everything she ran from, everything she aimed to forget about in order to start a new life, very shortly. The one real change in her metal stability that she could count as a positive point was that unlike before, she had a decent picture of what she might be walking into, and she no longer walk into it alone. It put her nerves to rest a little knowing she wouldn't be facing Natsu and the others completely alone like their last encounter together. Her mom once said there were strength in numbers and she hoped she could draw some strength from her knew team. Even if one member had an aversion to her. At least she had Troy.

"Lucy, we got the tickets to Magnolia. We leave at five tonight for the trip. I would freshen up now if I were you 'cause it's already around three." Speaking of the plopped down next to her on the bench. He left her with the task of watching their luggage (which consisted of mostly fire arms) as Troy and Beck went to buy tickets and food. Beck, with a frown, handed her a meatball grinder. It wasn't Lucy's favorite meal, but she no longer 'hmmmed and 'h'awwwed' about food she disliked. A life of no money and lots of travel didn't leave much room for a picky eater. So she ate it without complain, mumbling a thanks offhandedly without enthusiasm. If he wanted to be cold and distant to her then two could play that game.

Troy nodded as he ate his own grinder, but Beck didn't say a word. Asshole.

XXX

The motel she stayed at last time she stopped in Cresten let them use a room to prepare themselves for the train ride for a minimum fee. Lucy jumped for the opportunity of a shower, barreling her male companions over for the bathroom. She 'accidently' pushed passed beck roughly, and secretly relished in the grunt he let out.

Troy laughed in good humor, steadying Beck so the grumpy man wouldn't fall over. "Don't you take too long in there! We still have to get a shower in too!"

"I'll make it snappy!" Lucy replied from behind the closed door. All in all, the bathroom was no prize. She felt cramped in it, and she figured Troy would-what with his height-tower over the showerhead. Snorting, Lucy turned to the small mirror above the even smaller sink. Slowly she unwrapped the scarf from around her neck, folding the olive colored material and placing it in a corner after. Her fingers traced the length of the three scars on her neck, wincing at how deep it her thumb sunk into it-about up to her nail when she put her thumb down flay. The odd texture made her a bit queasy because although the skin felt smooth to her fingers she couldn't actually feel the touch on her neck. She could fit her entire thumb in each of the scratches, and the angry red color of it made her want to avert her eyes.

But what really made her queasy were the staple marks. The wound had been too big for stitches, so the doctors and healers had to use staples to make sure it healed correctly after the infection waned. Good sized dots lined each individual scar, and Lucy remembered every staple being removed and the dull pain she felt over the painkillers with each pull. Every once in a while she could feel it like phantom pains.

Shaking her head, Lucy began to unzipped her brown and green pixilated jacket, revealing a white T-shirt with the Fiore Military symbol embroider on the breast pocket. The jacket weighted heavy in her hands, she slipped her hand into the tilted chest pockets in search of the fresh underwear she slipped in there while the guys weren't looking. It'd been years since she wore panties that were actually cute (because she didn't have the money to replace the ones she had to throw away), and now that she had the pink frilly luxury back she forgot how much she liked wearing them.

After folding the jacket, she placed it on top of her scarf, soon her T-shirt followed, her bra (another thing that hadn't changed over the years-she was still as busty maybe even more so), then her matching green and brown pixilated pants, which were tucked into her tan combat boots. She untied the boots, stuffing her socks back into them as she placed them beside the neat pile of clothing.

She looked up to the mirror again, taking in her nude reflection. She was far more muscular than she'd ever been in her life, maybe a little but slimmer too. Her hips had rounded out more, giving her a more womanly curve to her figure. A hand came to touch the bottom of the scar on her shoulder. She wondered what her old Nakama would think when they saw her. Would they recognize her? Her face, still heart shaped, now held a tan that could only be obtained from long days of training. Her brown eyes not as innocent and naïve as before tended to be narrow and calculating more so than not now. Her lips had filled out, giving her a firm pout when relaxed. She also liked to think she'd gotten better at keeping a wrap over her emotions. It would be bad if her enemy could read her emotions as easily as they could when she first started out as a mage. Now, as a military member, it could get her killed.

Her hair, which she pulled back into a tight bun due to the code for her military uniform, had grown and changed the most. She'd last gotten done any work on her hair was at the hospital with Rea a year or so back. Her blonde friend had trimmed her hair free of dead ends and given her long bangs that dropped over her face. Back then, her looks were the least her worries, so Lucy took the hair trim like a grain of salt. Reaching up, Lucy undid the bun, and let her long hair cascade down her back and over her shoulder. Her long bangs started from the center of her head and fanned out in a curve down the left side of her face and over her chest. There was this one chunk of hair that she couldn't get to follow the same path that stuck up a little and fell in a wavy trail over her left eye only to meet up with the rest of her bangs at the end. It didn't matter how much hair spray she used. It just wouldn't stay. The rest of her hair hung in voluminous curves down her back to her butt, a couple long stands falling over her right shoulder.

Of course, seven years later, she would look pretty different. She left the guild when at the age of seventeen, and now as a twenty four year old Lucy looked like the woman she always wanted to be. The reflection reminded her of her late mother, and she wondered what her father would say when he saw her. Sure, he'd probably scold her because seven years of no contact is quite a lot, but a hug would be in order too. She also wondered what Natsu would say; would he be shocked by her changes? Would he worry over her scars? How had he changed?

A knock on the door snapped Lucy back to reality. "I don't hear no water running in there, and it's already been ten minutes!" Troy's voice held hints of annoyance. In ways, Troy reminded Lucy of Natsu. Like Natsu had, Troy lead the team. Most of the time he exhibited his impatience, he had a weird habit of complimenting people but still coming off somewhat insulting. He knew how to be funny. He knew when to be caring (even if she'd only seen he sympathetic once). She also imagined he'd be a bit rash too. Like when he told off the captain of the ferry boat, saying that he needed to hire another cleaning crew at the very least.

Giggling, Lucy rolled her eyes. "I'm going, I'm going!" She reached over and turned the water on, "Happy now?"

"Yes." Was the only thing Troy said back. Lucy figured he went to keep Beck company.

She stripped herself of her underwear and climbed into the tiny shower. As the water hit her back, she sighed, the warm sensation loosening her tense muscles. Her mind trailed back to the guild. Her heart hammered in her chest at the mere thought of walking through those doors. From excitement or trepidation she could not tell, but her stomach began tying itself in nervous knots either way.

She'd been doing some thinking about the whole 'death count in Fairy Tail' thing. She had mixed feelings about the statistic. She cared a lot, even though she felt like she shouldn't because her 'mission' had been to forget about the guild in order to begin a new life free of pain and drama. She figured that if she still cared so deeply for the people of Fairy Tail then seeing them again would still be just as painful as saying good bye to them. Not to mention how often her train of thought lead back to Natsu. Even hundreds of miles away the guy haunted her.

Errr…not haunted. That would involve him_ being dead_ and no matter how severely he hurt her she couldn't picture a world-her world-without him. So, he didn't haunt her. He just…followed her. Or something.

She went over the people who'd gone on the mission in her head. Natsu, Erza, Gray, Levy, Gajeel, and Lisanna. She didn't want anyone of them to be dead. Even in the short time she knew Lisanna she seemed like a sweet girl, and after finding out about her and Natsu Lucy's opinion of her only changed a little.

Yes, Lisanna will never be among her favorite people, but she wouldn't wish death upon her.

Shaking her head she decided that thinking about this would only give her head ache. Why dwell on something she didn't have any hope of figuring out on her own? The rest of the shower she focused on thoroughly cleaning her hair because she wasn't sure when she'd see another shower within the upcoming days.

* * *

><p>The shadows casted the room into darkness, curtains pulled tight against the window. The clothes strewed across the floor, the dirty plates on the dresser, the dirt embedded in the wooden floor boards made the room messy. The bed, oh lord the bed, he can't remember the last time he made it, not alone changed the sheets. The walls were splattered with food he'd thrown in bouts of rage and littered with holes the size of his fist. The ceiling had cobwebs lining every crease and corner, and the only places left bare from their intricate nests were either charred or crumbling.<p>

Rubbing his eye with the back of his hand, Natsu heaved a heavy sigh as he slumped down onto his knees, his bed making creaky noises at the movement. It'd been another sleepless night full of predictable nightmares. It didn't matter how each dream happened, it always ended the same. He would be _so fucking close_ to her. He could smell her smell, hear her voice, and taste the tangy sweat off the air, but right before he could see or touch her everything would fall away. He'd be back in that _fucking forest_ with the _fucking_ man eating plants watching her _fucking die_.

He'd thought that after the twentieth time (yes, he counted) the dream would get old, because it starts the same way, and ends the same exact way every single time. He'd thought he'd get sick of waking up in a cold sweat, with panicked tears streaming from his strained eyes. But no. He'd wake up just as scared, and just as upset every single _fucking_ time. Then, in a fit of rage he would begin to swear viciously because of how ridiculous his day to day life had become. Everything he did, or thought, or saw-even if it had nothing to do with her-she _fucking_ turned up. And the dreams, oh those _fucking_ dreams! Since they started he'd suffered roughly 2,830 sleepless nights. You could only imagine what that did to his mental stability. But as long as he was being honest, when the dreams first started they weren't so bad. Well, back then they seemed bad, but now they were a piece of cake to deal with in compared to the ones he'd been having as of late. It was always her laughing, her being happy, her not missing their relationship. Her slowly moving on.

Then, as the years went by, the _fucking_ dreams got worse and worse, _and fucking worse._ They escalated from her living a nice life with a man that wasn't him, to him finally getting to her, and she outright rejecting him. That was around the second year. The third year was by far the hardest yet though. The dreams weren't sad or anger inducing, the opposite actually. He would convince her to finish what they started, and she'd leap into his arms and kiss him, and then they'd do the nasty until he couldn't see straight anymore. Every time he woke up, he'd wake up happy and roll over expecting to see her smiling at him, but only to find an empty bed. Those dreams broke him. They put him in such a horrible downward spiral that sometime he would _fucking_ cry. He missed her like Happy missed his fish and Charles, and considering the two now had a kitten, that's _fucking_ saying something!

Because Natsu wanted his own _fucking_ kitten!

But no matter how hard he wished, how much he yearned to have her back, how many times he went over what he could have done to come out of this with her by his side, he had to accept the reality that she's gone.

A knock on the door jolted Natsu into the now and happening. He'd forgotten that gray had said he had some news for him and that he would stop by after his mission with Erza to tell him.

Natsu zigzagged his way around the piles of trash and dirty laundry to the front door. He had to kick some of the trash bags out of the way to open it wide enough to see Gray. The past seven years have been kind to the ice mage. He'd become one of Fairy Tail's many S class mages. He _finally_ got a grip on his stripping (sort of, but not all the time), and most importantly, he and Juvia got together after many _many _years.

"You look like shit man." Gray's gruff voice greeted Natsu.

Crossing his arms, Natsu glowered at him. "Fuck off, what do you want?"

"Ohhh, touchy touchy," Gray lifted her hands up in surrender, "Walk with me, on the mission Erza and I bumped into Gildarts. He said Laxus has an important mission for us waiting at the guild."

Swallowing down a yawn, Natsu scratched his head. "I don't know. I'm not sure if I can make it to this one. I haven't gotten even close to a good half a night of sleep in months."

"Well just hear the mission out first. Gildarts seemed pretty serious about."

Natsu let a heavy breath out through his news. "Whatever, not like I have a choice in the matter anyway. Do you know anything about it?"

Gray scratched the back of his head. "There's going to be Military involvement, and they're coming here again."

Natsu paused mid step. "Do you think it has to do with that fucking forest?"

Gray shrugged, swiveling to look at him. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"If it is I'm not going back there. We already lost so much to that forest and we're still suffering from the lost. _I'm_ still suffering from it." Natsu roared in hysterical outrage. Fists burning up with pent up fire, he had to fist them to keep the flames at bay.

Gray eyed him carefully before speaking slowly as if to calm him. "Chill, like I said I don't know. The sooner we get the guild the sooner your questions will have answers," He turned around, kicking up dust with his heels, "Besides I haven't seen Juvia in a _month_ so much be making it rain all over the guild by now."


	12. Chapter 12

II.

Do to her circumstances; Lucy didn't know how lacking of technology her life had been in the colonies. During her stay there the only thing that mattered to her was staying alive, and getting through another day in hopes of the next one would be better. She could say that a lot of things changed for her in seven years. She could now go days without heat wave attacks. She could defend herself pretty effectively, and now, after her incident with the bear cat on her final exam in the army, she'd picked up a habit of always being aware of surroundings no matter what. The last time she traveled through this part of Fiore had been a blur of pain and suffering to her, but now with clear eyes she saw what life on the colonies was really about.

There were three main ways to get from point 'A' to point 'B'. Most of the traveling from town to town had been done on foot because of the poor status of the economy. Jobs were rare there and more so than not Lucy recalled herself doing the dirty jobs that no one else wanted, like tending to sickly old people or cleaning rat infested houses to make the money to pay her bills and buy food. The wealthier of the colonist were the only ones privy to other methods of transportation, and by other methods, Lucy meant horse and buggy because the few mages that ventured over to the colonies wouldn't be caught dead using their magic for driving vehicles, or at least cheaply. There were no labors willing to work for low wages, so the train tracks were never finished. Lucy remembered passing a couple train stations in her travels. They had large fret trains sitting there rotting. The other method-and most expensive-were the ferry boats. Lucy had to sell almost everything she owned to get one measly ticket from Cresten to the colonies. And the boat itself had been small and rickety.

In the main land, things were different. The economy in Fiore had changed over the years she'd been away. She remembered it being manageable seven years ago. Thing s used to be so expensive, but her wages as a member of a guild weren't anything to take shake a stick at either. But now everything seemed to be booming. Prices for almost anything were ridiculously cheap. While waiting for the train to pull into the station with Troy and Beck she decided to check prices at a merchant's store. Her Plue key, which she'd haggled to bring down the price to 19,000 jewels, had dropped to 12,000 jewels ,and that's in a place that typically had more expensive prices than a department store.

Their train tickets-although she and her travel companions didn't have to pay for them, the military did-were also marginally cheaper than they were if she were to buy them seven years ago. But prices weren't the only things that had changed over the years. Technology had advanced too. The changes were minimal in the colonies, but now that she stood on main land soil she noticed the differences like night and day.

The train, which would have taken two weeks to get to Magnolia, now only took five days. Security seemed tighter and way more involved with every transaction made between customer and employee. Now everyone needed an ID to get on a train. People went through magic detectors too, which apparently can tell if someone is a mage and their magic capacity. She asked Troy about the step up in security and he explained about the dark mage attack that wiped out an entire line of trains using her tracker magic. He then went on to say that that type of magic can put a target on anything however far away.

How had she not heard about this?

"There were no survivors after the train attack." Troy added, his shoulders tensed. Lucy opened her mouth to say something but found her sentences failing her. What could she say to something like that?

With a loud blow of a whistle, the train rolled into the station, saving her from her word fumbling. Picking up her bag, she turned to face Troy. Beside him stood Beck, one hand tightly grasping Troy's upper arm for balance and sight. He had large black glasses on that served to help him keep his magic under control. Apparently if someone looked into his eyes for too long, his magic would reach out to them and cause hallucinations-real or fake. Usually horrifying ones. Lucy felt lucky that she had no reason to look the grumpy man in the eye. Could he have been trying to keep her at arms length away to protect her from his magic? Lucy snorted. Probably not.

"The trains are made of a type of iron developed by the iron dragon slayer of Fairy Tail, you probably have heard of him, Gajeel Redifox. It is resistant to all types of magic, particularly tracking and fire magic. The man made himself a fortune by lending his abilities to the council to make the stuff." Troy informed, stepping up to the platform with the rest of the civilians waiting to get on board.

Lucy smiled to herself. She never thought that Gajeel wound ever do something with his magic that _didn't _involve destroying entire cities, beating other dimwitted dragon slayers into the ground, or any other type of violent tendencies she knew him for. Despite herself she began to wonder if a certain blue haired book worm had something to with it.

Then, she wondered if Levy was indeed a book worm still.

Shaking her head with a grim frown she followed Troy and Beck onto the train. Lucy touched the cool metal coated over the walls on the inside, she would bet money Gajeel made that metal too. A deep maroon carpet lined the floor and it looked fresh and clean like the train company finally decided to hire someone to clean the traveling quarters. The seats were in much the same fashion she remembered; little rooms with slider doors. Troy slipped into a larger one and scooted into the window seat. Beck pushed passed Lucy, and when his arm touched hers she caught a fleeting grimaced snarl curl his lips up. He took the seat next to Troy, no longer holding onto him, but making sure he stayed close enough just in case he needed to see.

Fuming Lucy stepped into the booth and closed the door behind her. Really, she couldn't see how Troy and Beck got along so well. Troy, what with his likable attitude, his mostly positive leadership technique, and his odd sense of humor couldn't be more different from the quiet, cold, and rude Beck. Troy could carry on a conversation where Beck would let it fall into an awkward, tense silence. Where Troy would be blunt about something that bothered him (like in confronting the captain of the ferry), Beck kept silent and nasty. But yet the two seemed to get along fine. It baffled her.

Clearing her throat Lucy sat across from Troy. The man had dark eyes that reminded her of Natsu's. Somewhat innocent, but if one took the time to look they'd see traces of hardship and lose within them. But unlike Natsu, who put on some sort of show whenever he became unsure or confused, Troy would come right out and say his day turned bad and that they better stay out of his way for the rest of it. She learned quickly while on the ferry that when Troy went into one of his moods, he could get nasty. Not like Beck, Troy's blow ups were much more verbal. The first couple days in the ferry were bumpy, and Lucy could be sure his foul mood could be chalked up to his return to the Dark Forest.

Troy dreaded returning, and after hearing a couple of his stories before bed about the forest she couldn't blame him. He told tales of horrible, vicious plants that ripped his friends and comrades apart limb by limb. He spoke lowly of the dark mages that triggered the disturbance in the force field and how they were out for blood. He painted gory pictures with his words and the more she heard about his trials in the forest the more she respected him for going back. The guy had seen hell, tasted it and touched it, then lived to tell the tale. Only to somewhat willingly go back not two years later.

But today Troy seemed to be in an oddly peaceful mood, a hopeful smile on his face. She decided to take advantage of his mood and get a couple of her questions answered.

"Hey Troy," Lucy started, "As you know I was a member of Fairy Tail and lived in Magnolia for a good amount of time. So why hadn't I heard of this Dark Forest before?"

Troy rubbed the dip in his chin, looking thoughtful. "The Forest was off limits to all people-civilians, mages, even military personnel because it was rumored to be the source of the magical balance of Earthland. The council feared that if humans made it into the forest the magical balance could be interfered with and cause imbalance in the world of magic. That, and this exceptional source of magic also gave special-animal like-qualities to plants making venturing into the forest very dangerous." He answered, wide black eyes starring directly at her. He seemed edgy, his leg bouncing up and down as she mulled over his answer.

Nodding, Lucy decided that that sounded plausible . "But then how did an entire dark guild get into it?"

"The Train bombings. The deranged mage I'd mentioned earlier was the guild leader of Bloody Bones. She used the bombing of the trains-the death of hundreds..no _thousands_ as a distraction for the police and military. It's a shame the plants got to her before I did. My three younger sisters and my mum were on one of those trains. I'm not one who enjoys getting my hands dirty, but if I had her blood on them, I wouldn't feel ashamed."

Lucy gasped, a hand flying to cover her mouth as her eyes widen. His words _No survivors_ echoed in the back of her mind. She knew what it felt like to lose everyone she loved in the blink of an eye-she did leave the guild after all. But she couldn't imagine losing them _permanently._ The fact that she'd lost _one,_ her mother felt like acid to her heart. She at least knew her father was still alive. She couldn't imagine being in his shoes, losing four people all at once forever.

"When the trains derailed, Bloody Bones snuck into forest. The military didn't figure out something was wrong until a month after the crash. The magical force field's power had flared up to dangerous, destructive levels. Nearby towns had to be evacuated because we didn't know if it could explode. And thus the military started the exploration to try and find it and its source of disturbance." Troy finished, letting her know he finished his explanation with a curt nod of his head. Lucy looked away in thought. Outside the sun hung low in the sky, night time would be upon them in less than an hour.

"Now," Troy took on a serious tone, his voice on edge as if something big could be happening, "Have I answered all of your questions?"

Lucy narrowed her eyes. Something about the change in Troy irked her. After she got out of the shower before they left for the train he'd been less playful with her and instead watched her as she moved around the small hotel room organizing their stuff. He seemed to be trying to figure something out, like something about her bothered him. When Beck returned he seemed to snap out of it though. But that look, the very same one plastered to his face now, made her want to escape him and his prying eyes.

"I have some questions for you now." He straightened, hands folding in his lap. He looked like the picture of professional. Lucy didn't like it. She didn't like anything about the situation. She had a pretty good idea what he wanted to know, and she didn't feel comfortable telling him. She'd told a total of two people about her past in seven years, and telling them had been hell on her body and mind. If he thought he could just out right demand her to tell him her personal story he had another thing coming. Especially since Beck didn't seem like he was about to leave.

She leveled her emotions to a stern deadpan stare. Eyes narrowed in reserve.

"Ok then. You are a former member of Fairy Tail, right?" troy asked, everything about him screaming formality.

Lucy nodded, mouth pulled into a straight line. She felt her defenses rise along with a little bit of anger. She didn't push to know about his past even if she wanted to know-he chose to tell her. Why couldn't he give her the same luxury?

"Beck here wanted to join Fairy Tail if his military training didn't go the way he wanted it too. Over all do you think he would have been accepted there?"

Lucy made a face, confusion muddling her anger in a mixture of perplexed apprehension. If possible she became more uneasy about the conversation. What exactly could Troy be getting at? "Yes, he would have been accepted. Fairy Tail is a guild with a strong sense of comradeship, and as long as the Master didn't see you as a threat he would accept pretty much anyone. Plus, the guild was built with strong core values, people, and spirit. All sorts of people fit in, They even accepted mages that were considered enemies at one point." She answered, eyes straying back and forth from Troy to Beck.

Troy nodded in understanding. "Sounds like a wonderful place to work."

A somber smile found its way onto her lips, but in a flash she replaced it with a firm frown. Troy hadn't missed it though, she could tell from the quirk of his eyebrows. "It was." She spoke the truth.

"Then why'd you leave?"

Lucy looked up in shock, not because the question surprised her-she knew it'd come up eventually. But because it had been Beck who'd asked. His voice held no contempt-for once-and in its stead she heard genuine curiosity. Something inside of her realized that he might resent her for being a part of a part of his dream guild only to leave, but frankly, she didn't care what he thought. He had no right to judge her, and in her opinion no right to even think of asking her that question.

"Frankly Beck, I don't think it's any of your damn business." Anger built up in her stomach again, but this time much more potent. It surprised her how fast it flared up, but the way it made her feel surprised her even more. It felt like she released something heavy. Like she dropped a weight she'd been carrying around for god knows how long. So she embraced her anger. Her anger at Beck for asking, Her anger at Troy for not stopping him from asking, her anger at Natsu for putting her in this damned position, her anger at Fairy Tail for not having her back when she needed then to the most, and her anger at herself for being the helpless girl that runs away from her problems. The urge to stand up and leave weighed heavily on her feet, because that was what she did when she became angry. But she would take this conflict by the horns, it was time for her to quit her running and act less like the helpless girl and more like the strong woman.

"Lucy, that's where you are wrong," A sense of alarm tinted Troy's professional persona, "As your new team mates we think it's important to know what caused conflict between you and the guild. Especially since we will be working with them in a couple days time. And as your leader, I deem it necessary for you to share it with us."

"'We think it's important?' So you guys talked about this? Did you plan this too?" Her anger slipped into her voice, but she didn't care.

"Yes, I admit, we talked about it while you were in the shower. We-no _I_-think it's important for us to know why you left Fairy Tail because we will be working with the comrades you left. You don't have to go into detail or anything, just the main reason."

She knew he wasn't asking much of her. She just had to say 'my boyfriend cheated and all my friends supported him while he did it', but she felt irrational. Confrontational even. The rage that pumped through her veins took hold of her tongue, and before she could comprehend her words, they'd already spilled from her mouth, her tone portraying her unrestraint bitterness towards the subject.

"And what makes you think you have the right to know, huh? Don't get me wrong I respect you, Troy, but just because I respect you doesn't mean I feel comfortable telling you about my personal life," She rounded her irate glare to Beck, even though he couldn't see the look on face, "And _you_." She hissed at him.

"I don't even know what to say to you!" She snarled at him, "You just make me so _angry!_ Like what is your problem? I don't recall doing anything to make you treat me like trash, but even if I did the normal thing to do would be to tell me. Not ignore me, and or be short with me, or rude. We are adults, and adults talk out their issues. And do expect me to tell you something I regard as _very_ personal when you've made no effort to treat me nicely, not alone a _comrade_. Besides, for me to tell you something like that would involve me respecting you, and I assure you, I do not."

She thought she'd feel better after telling Beck what she thought of him, but in reality she didn't. If anything she felt more anger, not necessarily at Beck, but at the people she never really got to tell off. The years of pent up emotion seemed to finally be welling up in her chest and as much as she wanted to swallow it back down she couldn't make herself because a part of her knew that they deserved her anger and fury.

The cart descended into a thick silence after her outburst. She felt jittery, like she wanted to say more but had nothing else to say to the two men in front of her. A roaring sense of injustice had her wanting to jump out of her skin. She found it weird that during her seven years away none of these feeling reared their ugly heads. Could she have been pressing it back subconsciously ? She mentally shrugged, maybe. But was it a coincidence that all the pent up rage decided to make itself known five days before she would see the people of Fairy Tail again? Unlikely.

The ruffling of clothes brought her attention back to Beck, who now towered over her in a menacing stance, one hand gripping Troy's wrist knuckle whiting hard. Lucy looked him straight in the face, brow creased with barely concealed frustration. He reached for his glasses.

"Beck, don't—"

He pulled his black glasses off, and his milky eyes connecting with hers. A tight feeling settled over her throat, making it hard for her to breathe. Her thoughts raced, flashes of light exploding behind her eyes in a disorienting display.

"If you liked Fairy Tail so much, then why'd you leave?" He repeated his question with more conviction.

She opened her mouth to tell him to 'bug off', but the words caught in her throat as a headache split down the middle of her head, forcing her eyes shut. Another, longer, flash of light burned over her vision. It hurt so bad she felt like she wanted to vomit.

The light intensified, and she opened her mouth to scream out in pain but the ache fell away abruptly. She hesitantly opened her eyes, cradling her head in her hands. She no longer sat on the bus, but instead she stood in a familiar room. With wide eyes she scuttled backwards, mouth gaping in disbelief. In front of her stood Natsu, a taller, more muscular Natsu. He had dark bags under his eyes, he wore different clothes, his facial structure had narrowed, but the same hopeless look on his face from when she gave him back the necklace on the day she left the guild stayed in place, but unlike her dreams of him, he wasn't foggy, or blurred. She watched the tears roll down his cheeks in horror because it looked like she could reach out and brush them away. The sensation, the vivacity of it all had her shaking and whimpering under her breath. The righteous anger from before faded away, and finally she could _feel_ the sense of betrayal that drove her out of magnolia. She acknowledged the emotional pain she shoved to the back of her mind in favor of trying to move on. The vast pool of fury that sat dormant in her stomach grumbled, making itself known. All her excuses fell away under his gaze, and she realized that she wasn't alright. She didn't leave to make it easier for him. She left because she couldn't deal with herself. Just like with her father, when things got tough, she turned tail and ran.

She took a step away from him because his breath on her face made her heart flutter. That'd never happened before. She locked eyes with him again, and the emotion in his eyes made her wonder if she'd missed something before because for someone who was supposed to be in love with someone else, Natsu looked _so hurt._ So desperate.

She turned away, hot tears dripping down to the corners of her mouth, the salty taste upset her. She couldn't handle it. Between him being there and how detailed everything was, she felt like her knees might give out. Her heart thudded erratically in her chest, her breath coming hard. She couldn't feel her fingers, her toes tingled, and then she fell, just like she predicted. Knees hitting the ground with such force it hurt. Dreams weren't supposed to hurt. She always thought she'd wake up right before anything hurt.

The floor fell away, and like shattering glass the scene broke into pieces. She looked over her shoulder, and her eyes connected with his broken stare. He just stood there watching, brow creased and mouth frowning. She needed to get away.

She felt like she was being torn from the scene, and as quickly as Natsu came, it left, like a ghost. That sent a chill down her spine, but she didn't dwell on it. She couldn't. The headache returned, and she opened her eyes to the interior of the train, her vision dotted with stars. Her bun fell out sometime along the way, and her long hair lay matted to her forehead. She laid on the booth, all sweaty and heavy breaths, but not in the guild. Not with him, his eyes weren't on her any more. Her heart hammered in her chest at the thought. She reached up to move the hair out of her face, but her arm wouldn't move. She felt weak. What happened to her? Her vision was slowly de-blotching, and soon she could make out the concerned expression on Troy's face. He looked panicked.

She couldn't tell, but she might be upside down, or he might be. But either way Troy lingered above her, pressing something cold to her forehead. His mouth went a mile a minute, but she couldn't make out anything of what he was saying over the ringing in her ears.

So she focused on calming her breathing down instead. The rhythm of her heart beat scared her. It must have been going faster than when she ran five miles straight in boot camp. The beat could be felt high up in her throat, and ironically that was the only thing she could feel at the moment. Everything else remained numb.

"Lucy, are you ok?"

Blinking, she refocused on Troy.

"Y-yeah." She sounded like a frog.

He sighed, slumping his tense shoulders. "Oh god, what the hell was that?"

"What was what?" Her head still spun.

Troy frowned down at her. "You didn't feel it?"

She shook her head no, dread filling the numbness.

He turned around to pick something up. He held up a bloody cloth and she gasped. "What's that from?"

"Beck used his magic to induce a hallucination of what made you leave Fairy Tail so he could get an idea of what to expect when we arrived at the guild when you started reacting weird. I know you have a peculiar illness from your records, but…" He looked down at her, "I didn't expect it to be like that. In the middle of the hallucination you cried out and grabbed your stomach. I reached out to steady you, but I couldn't get close enough without getting burned. You were radiating heat like you were on fire."

She'd had another heat wave, and from the sounds of it, it'd been a bad one. The majority of her heat waves were hot only to her. Except for the one she got when fighting the trained martial artists of the military, that one knocked them all out. And now this one. If she focused she could feel the lingering effects of it tingling in her stomach, but other than that she had no recollection of the familiar searing agony. The only proof of the incident clung to her face, crusted over. She'd never get used to the feelings of dried tears. That and the weakness of her body. She hated it.

"And the blood?" Lucy closed her eyes, wincing at the soreness of her body. She'd never actually bleed from a heat wave before. That was new.

"Your scar on your neck. At the beginning of my hallucination it began to glow, and by the end it was bleeding." Beck explained. His usually tight braid hung loose, strands of red hair falling around his angular face. His dark glasses had been replaced over his eyes. Lucy reached up to her neck, fingers coming in contact with her bare skin. The indent from the scratch seemed clean to her. Still fully healed. Looking down at her fingers she saw no blood on them.

"I cleaned it to see if it reopened." Troy explained.

Lucy sighed in distress, closing her eyes against the throbbing of her head. She focused on taking deep breaths again. That was simple and easy, but this…new experience had her mind going in circles. She wished they'd let her be after the confrontation. She probably would have told Troy a bit about it after she cooled down anyway. "I told you to leave well enough alone." She bit out, shooting a glare a Beck. Now, being friendly with the man was definitely out of the question. Talk about an invasion of privacy.

"You didn't like the easy way, so I showed you what the hard way entailed." Beck replied in a choppy manner. From the looks of it, the usually indifferent man had gotten shaken up by her violent reaction.

"I hope you got what you wanted."

Troy put a hand on her booted foot. "We did. When you're ready to talk I want to talk to you about Natsu Dragoneel and your unresolved feelings for him. "

* * *

><p>He came to on the floor in front of the bar in the Fairy Tail guild, sprawled out and sore all over. His vision blotched around the figure hovering over him but he could make out the red color of Erza's shoulder length hair if he tried real hard. "He's wake. I don't think we need Wendy." She said with a sigh.<p>

Natsu blinked, trying to remember what he'd been doing _before_ he wound up on the floor. He remembered talking to Erza about the Dark Forest and their new mission involving it. Erza said something about a group of three from the military. He went to take a sip of his liquor before he told _Erza_ no. One does not simply tell that woman no to _anything_. Especially of that something was a mission given by the Magic Council. He thought hard…no, he deffiently didn't get that drink. Maybe Erza predicted his response beforehand and just went and knocked him out before she heard it from him straight?

Then why had she been worried about him?

He swallowed, thinking back hard. He remembered a throbbing pain. Like he got punched in the face, expect not, because this hurt way worse. Then…something happened. A dream? Not like anyone he'd ever had before, but then again he didn't make a habit out of randomly passing out at the guild.

He suddenly remembered two men, one with a red braid and freaky glowy eyes. Another with dark hair and black eyes. They were both military, he recognized the uniforms. Then the vision blurred, and flickered out of focus. He felt hot, hotter than when he used his magic. It centered in his stomach, creeping out and taking over his limbs. He now looked at a ceiling, but not the guild's…but a train?

Then he heard screaming—shrill, ear piercing, female screaming. Not male, the other two guys looked at him with shocked expressions but closed mouths. So the scream was coming from him, and it was _female._ What the hell?

Then it all stopped. He woke up on the floor.

Sitting up, Natsu held his head in his hands as everything began to spin. A gentle hand gripped his shoulder to steady him. He looked up, fighting back the impulse to let the lunch he recently finished hit the floor. It was Erza, and she looked worried.

"Natsu," She said in that firm, no nonsense tone of hers, "Has the scar on your neck ever glowed before?"

Furrowing a brow at her odd question, he shook his head 'no'. He instantly regretted it though because the hammering in his head tripled and before he could really think to stop it his stomach emptied itself onto the floor.

Erm…or more accurately on Erza's boots.

Boy, when he could stand again he'd be doing her laundry for _weeks_ after that.

But of course that would be _after_ the horrible mission in the Dark Forest she would surely make him do first.

* * *

><p>AN: Yeah...so yeah. I feel like i should say something along the lines of 'I'm sorry for giving you another question without answering any of the other questions...' But you know what, I'm not XD<p>

This chapter was so ugh to write. Like I just don't know how to feel about it.

Although I am really nervous about the up coming chapters. I've rewritten them each like four times and I'm still all ufdsfslkfdskfhjdskfhkjs. about them.

Oh, but a little something that might excite you guys! One of my bigger worries is that there is nothing fluffy about this story, and in one of the up coming chapters there's a little bit of fluff, and I'm freaking out over it because I'm not sure how to write it the way I want it. If that makes sense.

Any who. Until next chapter folks! Which will be...when it gets done XD!


	13. Chapter 13

III.

The train station in Magnolia had not changed very much, and as she stepped onto the familiar cobblestone of the road she couldn't help the hitch in her breath. Stepping back into the town she'd once called home resembled the feeling she got when stepping back into a dream, especially sense night had fallen over the quiet town. Street lights lined the roads, casting shadows onto the sidewalks as people walked home. The weather, cloudy and damp, put the vibrant town she remembered into nothing more than a memory in gray scale. She exhaled, a tight knot forming in her chest, because of everything she envisioned her return to be, she never expected the truth she faced now. The town looked like it'd been suspended in time for seven years. She could see families still bustling through the lit windows of the small and close together houses. The people looked jubilant and carefree. The image she always wanted to be, too bad fate had a different plan laid out for her life.

A cool breeze ruffled the stray strands of blonde hair that framed her face. The remaining train ride had been awkward and filled with emotional outbursts, and by the time it reached the station everything about her screamed of disarray and stress. She didn't bother tidying herself up, not when she would probably become more disheveled when she arrived at the guild. Biting her lip at the thought, she let her eyes glaze over with feelings that had been long since suppressed. She always thought that when-if-she were to ever return to Magnolia she'd see her trials and sadness reflected in the walls of the town, in the smiles of the people. But the eyes of young lives starred back at her instead, clean walls mirrored in the puddles on the street. In that moment, Lucy had never felt so old.

A hand clamped down on her shoulder, and if she'd been younger mentally and physically she would have jumped from the sudden contact. Instead, she heard the heavy footsteps of her squad leader as he approached seconds before he reached his hand out. She frowned, realizing that if she wanted to, she could have turned on him, caught his wrist before he even touched her, and brought him to his knees with a simple maneuver of her legs. Although he would deserve the attack after what he made her go through on the train, she instead ducked away, avoiding his attempt at comfort. She didn't need his sentiments. If he thought he should treat her any differently because he knew of her trials (he made her tell him _everything_ ranging from Natsu to her travels) he had another thing coming.

"How ya holding up?" She scowled at his question, shifting just enough to give him a withering look.

She didn't reply, as he probably already knew the answer, and even if he said that she should accept that she wasn't okay with what happened at the guild, she preferred acting like nothing bothered her. She never noticed, but in her time at the colonies she'd become quite the actress. She got good at playing a certain character, and now that someone saw past her persona and wanted her to act out the truth, a strong sense of childish rebellion came over her. He couldn't make her do squat.

"I see," He said, and she wondered if he actually did see, "The rain will start soon, we're probably just a half an hour ahead of the storm. We should get going." He stepped around her, one arm folded behind his back, the other gripped tightly by Beck. The illusionist made himself scarce around her during the last couple hours on the train. She couldn't know for sure, but maybe her heat wave had knocked some respect into him.

Troy took the first step, his boots splashing into a puddle. Lucy followed, eyes averted to the gray sky. From the looks of it a decent rain storm passed by already, leaving the town wet, chilled, and dark. Her fists clenched and inwardly she wondered if it was too late to turn back, to go ask for another mission. If it was already hard for her to _look_ at the town she couldn't imagine looking at the guild.

She bit her lip, blinking away a stray rain drop that had splattered onto her cheek. The sky rumbled the growl of thunder still in the distance, but it bared over her. The heavy atmosphere and sticky air couldn't have been a better setting to bring her 'inner demons', as Troy had called them, to rest.

Shaking her head, she decided that her train of thought might be destructive to her emotional stability. She needed to have a somewhat clear mind for the reunion, so she instead focused on the details of the mission instead. She knew they planned to leave mid afternoon tomorrow, she knew a modified Team Lucky would be accompanying them. She also knew that the trip into the forest could take anywhere between a week and a month to get to the center depending on if they get lost. A couple insignificant questions bounced around her head, and she decided to ask them because what better option did she have?

"Troy, where are we going to stay?" Lucy's eyes bore into the back of his head, her teeth gritting together as they turned onto a street so familiar it made her skin crawl. She'd taken this route so many times when returning from missions with team Natsu, and if they kept heading in this direction they'd be at the double doors of the front entrance of Fairy Tail in no time at all.

Troy paused in his stride, and if Lucy hadn't spent five days on a train with him she wouldn't have noticed the sudden tension in his shoulders at the question. Lucy stopped in her tracks, eyes going wide in fear of the answer. "We will be staying at the Fairy Tail guild, of course. We will be leaving there early afternoon tomorrow, so why get a room we'll use for a couple hours?"

Lucy bit her tongue, refusing the urge to argue over the matter. There were a million reasons to _not_ spend the night at Fairy Tail, and Troy knew every single one of them.

"Oh, and Agent Heartfilia, I am Agent Griffin to you from here on out. We are on a job now." Troy continued on, not being cold, but not warm either. He guided Beck around bystanders and large puddles. Lucy remained rooted in her spot, her bottom lip trembling with the effort to keep herself professional and composed. She wanted to throw a tantrum.

Another rumble in the sky, much closer this time, announced the arrival of the next heavy rain. Large droplets begun to wet her hair, the cold water trailing down her face and marked her clothing as it gained speed.

Letting out a heated exhale through her clenched teeth, her eyes fluttered closed when twin warm drops ran from her eyes down to her cheeks. They were warm compared to the rain water. Reaching up she wiped them away with her gloved hand, using the back of the hand that used to bare the Fairy Tail symbol. The anxiety from her argument with Troy and Beck choked her, adding onto the stress of the entire mission. She hadn't had a moment alone since she boarded the train with them, and now that they moved on ahead of her she took the small timeframe to steady herself for what waited ahead of her.

She stifled a small sniffle under her breath, eyeing the back of her comrades as they rounded a corner. Squaring her shoulders, Lucy took a calming breath before quickening her pace to catch up with her squad leader. She needed to be a professional now, and as a member of the army she had a reputation to protect. One of the first things taught to her by the military explained how emotions could put people in danger while on a job. The military looked upon feelings in a negative manner, the exact opposite of what Fairy Tail preached.

A child rammed into her, no older than ten, he ran squealing as a large crack of thunder shook the tranquility. He ducked into a nearby house just as an impressive bolt of lightning lit the sky. Maybe, that child could have been a son of one of her friends. Enough time had certainly passed.

She rounded the same corner Troy and Beck had moments ago, upping her pace to a light jog to finish catching up. Lucy fell into step with her comrades, not meeting their eyes, not even acknowledging them. She kept her attention on the path in front of her, lined with lights that did nothing to brighten the streets through the spontaneous heavy down pour. If she squinted she could make out the outline of the guild building though.

She put on a brave face, not for her companions, but for her. Something about her had to look confident, and if she couldn't delude herself into feeling that way herself she'd bluff the hell out of the situation. They already knew too much in her opinion, and she couldn't bare anymore pity. She didn't want it.

Not when the shadow of everything she never wanted to be leered down at her in the shape of everything she tried to escape.

* * *

><p>Magnolia was never known for its rain, but the past week couldn't have proven that statement more wrong. In all of his years of living there, Natsu had never seen it rain more in one storm than it did in that one week. He raised his head, letting the cold droplets hit him in the face as the next bout of rain begun it's descend from the sky. The little refreshing beads of water felt nice on his heated skin. Years ago, he would have hid from the rain because the cold and wetness of the weather objectified everything a fire mage wanted to avoid. His dark eyes watched the heavy clouds speed by over head. If someone was to tell him he would think that storms, in their own way, were majestic, and even from him they demanded respect, he would tell them to get lost because he only gave his respect to those who deserved it, and a bunch of rain didn't warrant that. He never saw the cleansing property of a good storm, never paid attention to the calm that fell over the ever busy town whenever the forecast foretold of a good thunderstorm. Not until <em>she<em> left him. He remembered her always praising the rain, cheerfully stating that the bad weather gave her and the rest of the guild an excuse for a much needed day of rest.

He hadn't realized how true her words rang until she departed, taking the rain with her. He swore up and down that all good things followed her around, and that included the calm tension of a storm. It took him a bit to realize it, but eventually he noticed how low the river flowed, and how dry the burnt grass grew. He still couldn't remember the last time a storm blew through Magnolia like it did now, prior to this cell, the rain came in spurts that lasted less than half a day.

He couldn't help be hope that the return of the rain meant that _she_ had returned to him. Just because she left his life didn't mean that she couldn't come back into it at any given moment. Don't get him wrong, Natsu never believed in miracles, and as long as he was being honest he never would. But that didn't keep him from hoping. Sometimes he thought that it was that mentality that got him through the day.

He took a step forward, leaning up against the stone wall that served as a fence around the guild. It'd been built years ago, and to this day Natsu had no idea why. Laughing bitterly, Natsu snarled. He didn't know a lot of things. His thoughts drifted to a young woman with blonde hair. If he concentrated hard enough he could hear her voice still-no not the angry and betrayed one that came to him in his dreams-but the happy one that came with her bright smiles. It made his stomach churned. Not much now-a-days made him feel useless. His magical capacity and brute strength made sure of that. But whenever he thought about what happened between he and Lucy, and her last words to him a layer of burden would settle over him because he did nothing to stop it.

Mavis knows that he would do anything just to see her, look her in the eye and say sorry. He spent more time than he would like to admit thinking about her. Wondering if she was okay. Wondering if she went through everything he went through. He yearned to ask her, to hold her close again. But Natsu didn't believe in miracles. If she wanted to come back to him she would have, but it's been seven whole years of nothing. No sign of her, no word from her.

But that wasn't from lack of trying to find her. Closing his eyes he thought back to the day he broke into her apartment in hopes of setting things straight with her, and possibly even claiming her as his. He snorted at the thought. Imagine his surprise when he found the apartment in shambles, sans Lucy. He spent a good half an hour looking for a clue to her whereabouts, but the apartment yielded no answers until he went outside using the front door, and by chance looked in the mailbox for heehaws. He spotted the lone apartment key, and after staring at it for a while, things shifted into perspective for him. Lucy would never hide her key there. She usually kept it on her…unless she didn't plan on returning….

Opening his eyes, Natsu let out a hard exhale, his brow creasing with built up emotion. He remembered rushing to the train station like it happened yesterday. He'd almost stepped into a pile of puck in his haste, and as nasty as it may sound, that pile of vomit smelled like Lucy. He resolved himself right then and there to find her and bring her home as she obviously wasn't doing well. If she already got sick only a couple miles away, how did she expect to manage hundreds (maybe thousands) of miles away. He didn't plan on letting her find out. So he asked the lady at the ticket booth if she'd seen her. She answered him with a hard smack to the cheek.

Reaching a hand up to his left cheek, he could feel the phantom pain of the slap. Although the rude action caught him off guard, the girls accusing tone sent him through a loop. _How dare you do that to her!_ She'd cried, angry. _Especially when she was pregnant. What's wrong with you? _

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at how foolish that girl had been. In order for Lucy to get pregnant, that involved _claiming_ her. That never happened. Even so, the girl's words struck him hard. What if Lucy moved on while she was away? What if she got over whatever they had together, and she fell in love with someone else and had _his_ baby?

Natsu couldn't let that happen. So his resolved to drag her back to Fairy Tail strengthened. He'd sprinted back to the guild, telling everyone about his plan to bring her back. Much to his pleasure everyone leaped into action at his words and devised a plan of action. By dusk that day every team was boarding a different train to a different town. Their assignment was to search that town and all the surrounding ones for clues. Naturally, Team Natsu-him, Happy, Erza, Gray, and now Lisanna-went to the town furthest away from Magnolia. They knew Lucy, and if she wanted to get away, she would go as far away as possible. So they were off to the town of Cresten.

But they never found her. No matter how close they got. She was always a step ahead of them, a couple days travel away. And the people who'd seen her had all been real worried too. They told them she seemed sick, and in pain. Some even said she acted much like Natsu did.

It wasn't until they arrived at a rundown inn in Cresten that an actual clue was found. Erza had been asking a maid about the blonde that stayed one night and left, and much to their surprise that maid pulled out a photograph from her bag. The group photo of the entire guild right after Lucy joined. On the back, written in her rushed hand writing was a note to the maid.

_I can't carry these clothes with me anymore. If they fit you please take them._

After the maid handed over the photo for them to keep, Natsu suggest going to the colonies to search, but once they got there everything went downhill. It felt like he was chasing a phantom the entire time. A whisper. And by the time they made it to the colonies all the hints and sightings suddenly disappeared.

An entire year of searching , only to return back to the guild empty handed. He'd failed her.

Straightening, Natsu dipped his hand into his jacket, pulling the photograph that they found in the inn from one of the inner pockets. He kept it on him more times than not because that one photo was the last thing he had with her in it. Sure, he had memories and keepsakes, but none of them held time suspended. They didn't have her face.

The photo had seen better days. The colors began to fade years ago, the edges of the paper frayed, but her smile still looked real, _his_ smile still looked real in it. His finger traced the outline of her face, and he swore, if he could go back in time, he'd take more pictures.

Behind him the door opened, and he looked over his shoulder to see Gray approaching him—shirtless. Like he said before, Gray had improved on his stripping issue, but that didn't mean he stopped. The man had a solemn look creasing his forehead.

"Hey," He came to a stop beside him, dark slanted eyes zeroing in on the photo in his hand. He didn't say anything for a while as he frowned. After all, Lucy didn't only leave Natsu, everyone in the guild missed her, "Odd weather we're having." He spoke in a soft voice. He now looked to the sky, blinking away raindrops.

Natsu nodded, putting the photo away before the rain damaged it any more than it already had. "Yeah. It's kinda nice I guess. Juvia must love it."

Gray smiled. "Yeah, she made Mirajane go play in it because…well yeah."

Natsu's breath hitched. "Yeah, her usual rain buddy isn't here anymore."

"Which reminds me," Gray faced Natsu, a hand coming up to play with the necklace around his neck. Gray did that when he was about to venture into territory that made him uncomfortable, "So do you think you'll be alright on the mission after what happened last time?"

Natsu opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated when he really thought about the question. Whenever he thought about the Dark Forest he saw his friend getting skewed through the chest and then beheaded right before him. He saw her blood spilling onto the ground and splattering onto his sandals and toes.

Gray sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Natsu, look, I know what happened was hard for you to deal with, especially after what happened with Lucy. But Lisanna wouldn't want to see you like this—"

Growling, he pulled away from Gray's touch, eyes narrowed into a venomous glare. "And how would you know what Lisanna wanted? Did she tell you, huh?" He hissed, wiping at his eyes as they begun to sting.

"No Natsu, she didn't, but—"

"Exactly! Lisanna didn't tell you because she couldn't! I was right there Gray, I could have prevented it, but I stood there like an idiot and watched as the life left her eyes! Just like with Lucy! I could have done something, but I didn't! So don't even try to tell me how I should act when you haven't even begun to walk a mile in my shoes Gray!"

Gray scowled at him, pinning him with a hard stare. "You're not the only one who got hurt by what happened Natsu. So you should stop acting like it. I'm going to go look for the Military Team now. They were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago."

Natsu watched Gray go back in the guild-probably to find his shirt. It didn't occur to follow him into the guild until after the doors swung closed. Pushing away from the stone wall, Natsu ran a hand through his hair in aggregation.

He didn't believe in miracles, but he could sure use one right about now.

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

This was sooooo hard to write. Oh my god. I must have rewritten Natsu's part a gazillion times and I'm still making faces at it. Asdfghjkl;' I hope it answered some of your questions at the very least! XD

In other news:

I've done a bit of thinking about Fort, and oh lord guys, it's nearing its end. I'm estimating around 20 chapters all together, and that's not all that far away from now.

(this will be on all my updates of all my stories for a while)

So, as of now, we've agreed to break the 'joint account status' because I'm the only one writing in it. Although Kora might come around every once in while. So there will be a good amount of changes in my profile SO CHECK IT OUT BECAUSE THERE IS A POLL.

Because of Fort's closing approaching, T.T I'm trying to decide my new project after it. There will be summaries/info on the options in my profile so you should look at those. Please PLEASE PLEASE vote.


	14. Chapter 14

IV.

Lucy stood off to the side of the entrance to Fairy Tail, one hand resting on the stone wall she didn't remember being there when she left. Rain pooled in the dips of the rocks, and she traced a finger through one of the bigger puddles. Her attention then shifted to the actual building. She couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed bigger—taller even. The paint looked fresh. The double doors even seemed unbeaten. Odd, considering the nature of the typical Fairy Tail member. On the roof swayed the orange guild flag, rippling erratically in the storm. She would bet money that that flag was probably the only thing the same on the exterior of the guild from when she still wore her Fairy Tail mark proudly.

She flattened a hand over her hair, smoothing the wet strands back. Troy and Beck stood in front of the closed double doors, and as Lucy joined them Troy rested his hand on the door handle but did not turn it. Her hands decided to busy themselves with her uniform, smoothing over the drenched wrinkles of the once pristine outfit.

Troy's dark eyes met hers over his shoulder, a serious edge to his typically carefree gaze. He eyed her fidgeting hands, and when he returned his gaze to her face she forced herself to stop. When she did he nodded in approval and then tensed his body. She supposed this was what Troy looked like when he dubbed it time to serious about a job. "Agent Heartifilia, as a rookie you will stick close to my side during this mission. If something were to happen to you on your first job it would be over my head. Beck, you will keep the Fairy Tail mages in line. The last mission I went on with them was chaotic and disorganized resulting in a death. I refuse to let that happen again."

Lucy nodded, fighting back the questions that arose when Troy mentioned that one death, squaring her shoulders she put the thought to the back of her mind. Yes, it bothered her, and yes, a grave curiosity churned the unease thoughts dwelling in the dark corner of her mind. But this was a job. Her first job. She had to act professional and make a good impression on her superiors. That meant no tears, no warm reunions. Not while she wore a badge over her heart.

"And as for mingling with the local Fairy Tail mages, do at your own risk. They have a mighty liking for parties, so don't be fooled into drinking. I don't need an agent with a hangover on my team in the morning."

It looked about ready to say something more, but then the doors busted open, nearly knocking into Troy as they swung open. Lucy's breath hitched as a mage with dark hair stood in the entrance, his chest bare, the symbol of the guild tattooed on his left peck. At seeing the group he crossed his arms, a lazy smile gracing his handsome features.

"Hey guys! Looks Like they didn't get lost after all. They're right here. And look, Troy's back!" His voice was deep as he called to the rest of the guild, his slanted black eyes sparking with merit. "How ya doing man?"

Taking his hand in his, Troy shook it with a strength that only a man could. Lucy always wondered why guys shook hands as if they were trying to hurt the other person. She always chalked it up to a pride thing. "Decently, and how have you been Gray?"

Swallowing hard, Lucy averted her eyes, shifting so Beck's height over powered her own short stature. The years had been good to Gray. He stood a good four inches taller now, his dark hair sat a little droopier on his head, some of the strands that used to stick up now falling in his face. His features had sharpened, his jaw line more prominent, his cheekbones more defined.

His physique, still impeccable, had maybe even improved. Arms built with strong muscle, chest just as fit as she remembered, he could probably make a living as a professional stripper if he wanted to do that. Although the faint outline of scars marred random parts of his body that used to be flawless skin, but he still had the pale complexion that she remembered. That and the striping habits were still intact as he currently stood without a shirt and a loose belt.

"Good, getting hitched soon. You remembered Juvia?" Gray's smile radiated happiness, and Lucy almost choked. So the oblivious ice mage finally smartened up? She could only imagine how thrilled Juvia must have been.

"Congratulations," Troy stepped into the guild and out of the rain, motioning for her and Beck to follow. Lucy stayed close to Beck, placing herself so Troy's height obscured her from the prying eyes of the rest of the guild. Funny how Beck became the lesser of the two evils once she stepped through the guild doors.

Trying to act inconspicuous she glanced around the guild. The area seemed bigger to her, as there was no way so many tables could fit in the space that she remembered. A lot of the faces in the guild were unfamiliar to her, younger bright eyes looking on with curiosity. She looked to the bar, and at first she didn't recognize anyone, but then her eyes befell onto three mages sitting together in a group. One sat with her legs crossed, long brown hair falling down her back in waves. She wore a sheer tank top, the baby blue color complementing her pale skin. She held a large mug of foamy liquid in her jean clad lap. Lucy deduced it safe to assume the substance was liquor and the pretty brunette had to be Cana. A man with graying dark blue hair sat next to her, wrinkles crowing from the side of his face. He also held a mug of beer in his hands as he leaned on the counter as he craned his neck to get a better look at the new comers. Considering that a young boy, maybe even a teenager by now, with the same color hair sat next to him Lucy figured it had to be Macao and Romeo. Behind the bar stood Mirajane, her hair style remained the same, and from the distance her bright blue eyes looked tired. Averting her gaze Lucy looked to the ground. They were all looking their way. She could just barely pick up the whispers of her old nakama.

'_She looks a lot…."_

"_Only three people this time?"_

"_Wow, the blonde resembles…."_

"Ah, these must be your new teammates…." Gray comment brought Lucy's attention back to the conversation at hand. A hint of sadness could be detected in the tone of his voice. A faraway look glazed over his eyes like a memory came to him. Judging from the grimace pulling at his lips the thought hadn't been pleasant.

Troy faced the rest of the guild, "Some of you may remember me from the mission in the Dark Forest from five years ago, but for those who don't I am the squad leader of that military investigation, and now this one. You may call me Agent Griffin." Troy stepped to the side, a hand extending to Beck, "And these are my new subordinates. Agent Zimmerman," He motioned to Beck, the red head nodded his head in a formal manner, "He's been with me for about two years. He is skilled in illusion magic."

Lucy could feel all the eyes on her, gritting her teeth. She lifted her head to meet Troy's eyes. This was it.

"And this is my rookie. This will be her first mission with the military, so don't be too hard on her if she slips up," Troy laughed, and Lucy sent him a threatening glare, although it felt a bit weak to her, "But she graduated at the top of her class, so overall I think she's pretty reliable. You may call her Agent Heartifilia. She is very skilled in the lost celestial magic."

The room broke out in heated whispers, and Lucy raised her gaze to look at some of the mages around her. A large man with shocking white hair and a scar underneath his left eye looked upon her with a mixture of shock and relief, she remembered him as a giant man with strange arms and seven years later he looked about the same except for the fuzzy mustache on his upper lip. Lucy never imagined Elfman would like good with facial hair, but it worked for him. He had an arm around a marginally shorter girl with dirty blonde hair cut in a bob that framed her face, just like before, she wore glasses and had a stare that could still make her shiver. Evergreen held a bundle wrapped in a purple blanket in her arms, and Lucy smiled despite the heavy atmosphere in the room.

A couple feet from them stood the scary iron dragon slayer. He still had a lot of piercings (maybe even more now), and his red eyes were just as serious and narrow as she recalled. But all of this could be expected from Gajeel. But the little boy in his arms took could not. He had a messy mop of blue hair on his head. Wide red eyes blinking away sleep like he'd just woken up moments ago. He looked to be no older than five, and as he squirmed in Gajeel's arms Lucy could tell the young boy could run circles around the older dragon slayer.

At Gajeel's leg stood another young boy, arms wrapped around his knee. This boy looked a tiny bit older. He had the same blue hair, but cut short. He had identical red eyes, which made Lucy conclude that the two must be brothers. Blue haired brothers. Lucy didn't have to think hard on the mother, there were only a few blue haired mages in the guild. Lucy could be sure Gajeel didn't do it with Wendy. Or Juvia. After all she had marriage plans with Gray.

Brown eyes searched out her fellow book worm in the guild, locking eyes with the bluenette's watery large brown ones. Something in Lucy quivered. Her friend was a sight for sore eyes and she wanted nothing more than to catch up with her, but there's a time and place for everything.

Judging from the size of her stomach, Lucy figured she had another baby on the way and it would be born any day now. But Lucy could tell that the girl had grown in more than stomach size. She remembered Levy as a teenage girl with soft curves and a small chest, but within the seven years of her absence Lucy could say that Levy no longer fit that description. She seemed to be struggling to get up from her sitting position when Gajeel came to stand next her, children in tow. He placed a large hand on her shoulder to calm her, serious narrowed red eyes trained on something to her left.

Lucy's gaze followed his, and when it met the heated gaze of a boy-no man-with wide dark eyes she thought that her heart may have actually stopped. Her palms broke out into a sweat as they fisted, and despite her resolve to keep her eyes dry and her facial expression neutral, when she saw the messy, damp like he'd been outside, pink hair she couldn't help but let out a tiny sob. Even in dripping clothing he made her heart hammer in her chest. She'd been so worried that he'd done something stupid to get himself killed, because face it, out of the group he had the reputation to be the most reckless. Her horrible suspension had been fueled when she'd had that weird heat wave vision. In the back of her mind she'd wondered if he'd come to her as a ghost. But there he stood, alive and well. She hadn't relieved how worried she'd been for him. Not like she'd ever tell anyone that.

His eyes flickered up and down for a brief seconded. He began to steam, and she guessed she'd never know if his intentions were to dry off or what but the relief in his face spoke volumes.

He wanted to see her.

Before she could think any deeper on the matter, Natsu began to approach her, his pace slow and steady, weird for someone so remembered as hyperactive. As he got closer, Lucy's nerves began to double, a cold sweat breaking out over her cool skin. He'd grown taller and probably rivaled Gray's height now. His face narrowed, his eyes bereft of the carefree happiness she always pictured on him. In its stead a deep seriousness boiled that could only be put there by true trials and loss. She figured her eyes held a look very similar. He wore a long sleeved jacket that came down to his thighs made from the same material as the vest she'd last seen him wearing. The sleeve with his guild tattoo must have been cut off to show it off, and his baggy half pants now covered the entirety of his legs.

He came to a stop a couple steps away, completely dry, and breathing hard. Emotions varying from apprehension and excitement flitted across his face as he reached out with one hand, finger tips grazing her cheek. She stiffened at the touch, his warmth spreading from his finger tips until her cheeks were ablaze with a heavy blush. She took an unsteady breathe as she got a better look of him. Like Mirajane, he looked tired. Maybe even more. Dark circles encased his eyes like he hadn't slept in days…months even. His lips were chapped and bitten. He pulled his fingers away from her cheek, something in the way his mouth quirked, like he'd accepted that what he was seeing had the potential to not be real, made emotion coil in her chest, and she had to fight to keep her feelings under control. She felt her eyes sting.

"Lucy…."

His voice, slightly deeper and rougher than she remembered, uttered her name as if he had a secret. He shifted, coming a couple inches closer to her, coal black eyes shining with something like hope. She wondered what she must look like to him, all flustered and breathless. Probably not very professional.

She looked over his shoulder, seeking out Troy she found him by the bar, a sandwich in his hand. He nodded at her. Furrowing her brow she inwardly swore at him. What in the world was he trying to convey with that?

Licking her lips, she squared her shoulders and straightened. Returning her attention to the man in front of her, she lifted her chin to try to pull off a more confident look. She needed to explain their boundaries to him. The relief from seeing him with a heartbeat had started to wear off, and at the moment she saw that things would never be like they were again, and if he didn't know that she would tell him. "…Natsu."

He perked when she said his name, a small smile warming his lips. All determination sunk to her stomach in a gooey lump because one thing seemed like it would never change-his smile would always disarm her even if It didn't quite reach his eyes anymore (and _no_, that did _not_ bother her). He shuffled closer to her again, invading her personal bubble. She opened her mouth to say something, _anything, _to gain some control, but her words caught in her throat when she inhaled. He smelled different. Not peppermint like Lisanna-thank _god_, but not smoke or woods either. He smelled like brimstone, soot, and fumes of searing heat. She let out a strange strangled sounding noise from her throat born from both panic and nervousness. It almost felt relieving. He took the incentive, closing the mere inches left between them. Wrapping solid arms around her, he pressed her firm against his chest, his chin resting upon her head. He sighed, the hot breath spanning along the crown of her head and sending chills down her spine. Despite herself Lucy relaxed into his hold, her head resting upon his shoulder blade. Her eyes shut on their own accord, and for the first moment in a long time she felt at peace. She felt tingly, like she'd just woken up from a horrendous dream, and now everything she lived for in the past greeted her. She saw them laughing over dinner, kissing in the bedroom, cuddling in the morning, battling together, laughing together, _loving together_.

But too bad all good things come to an end, including dreams.

Something wet dropped onto her head, starling her a bit. At first she wondered if she'd been feeling things. Until she felt another, and another, and _another_. Natsu begun to shake and his hold on her tightened to a point in which she thought he'd never let her go, and it was at that time that she realized she'd reached up and wrapped her arm around his torso. She didn't remember doing that. In fact she had no plans in returning the embrace at all. That wouldn't be _professional_.

Opening her eyes, she stared up at the column of his throat. His adams-apple twitched when he swallowed down hard, and with the jerky movement a tear drop trailed down his neck right in front of her face. "Lucy," He whispered again, nuzzling his face into her hair. She swallowed hard once, twice, and then decided that now was as good of a time as ever to introduce herself as Agent Heartfilia. Who knew something as small as a change in title could be so hard for her to handle?

Steeling herself, she decided to ignore the wetness under her own eyes as she put her palms onto his (still very toned) chest and push him away. He struggled a bit, obviously not ready to let her go, so when she put even an inch in between them he dropped his head to the crook of her neck.

Sniffling in her ear, he whispered again. "I was so worried about you Lucy."

Now, Lucy imagined a good dozen scenarios regarding this moment. Each one ending differently, and equally as sad. But never, in the wildest recesses of her mind, would she imagine the people she abandoned to welcome her with open arms _literally_. Right here, right now, it seemed like he missed her as much (maybe even more…maybe) as she missed him. The desperateness in his voice made her want to comfort him, apologize even, because he sounded _that_ distraught. Then again, who was he to look so beaten up when she'd been the one to go through living hell and back?

Gritting her teeth, she looked down. Comforting him wasn't her job any more. Nope, she gave that position up when she left. She wondered who filled in her spot. Lisanna?

Dipping out of his embrace, she took a couple steps back. She now stood by the doors again, her back resting upon the cold wood. She felt like a caged animal.

"Lucy—" Natsu begun, sounding close to breaking down. Lucy took a moment to gather the few coherent thoughts she had left after the encounter with him. She interrupted him, voice still shaking but tone as professional as she could muster. "Agent Heartfilia. I-I am Agent Heartfilia from here on out."

She leveled her attention to the rest of the guild. They were all watching her with hawk-like eyes, drinking in the interaction between her and Natsu like a bunch of alcoholics. She wanted to break down right then and there. She wanted to scream, and bite, and kick and cry because all that sounded at lot easier than acting like an adult. One look from Troy had her remembering herself though. Her mission, her new life.

"I know that most of you know me from my prior work here," She locked eyes with a couple new members, "But for those who don't know me, I used to be a part of Team Nat—Lucky. Team Lucky. I am no longer a member of Fairy Tail and as long as I have this uniform on," Motioning to her army uniform, she turned to lock eyes with Natsu to make sure he understood what she was saying, "I expect to be treated like an Agent. Not Nakama. But as Agent Heartfilia. I am here on official business." Lucy finished, exhaling deeply. If anything the tension in the room doubled after she finished her little speech.

A wounded look crossed Natsu's face. His mouth hung open like he wanted to say something in retaliation, and Lucy waited, giving him the opportunity to voice his thoughts before she went over to join her team. Much like all those years ago he didn't utter a single word. His face turned an odd pale color, and his mouth snapped shut, his jaw tightening in obvious frustration. Lucy shook her head, scratching the back of her neck as she passed him. It annoyed her that he had the audacity to pull that type of pathetic face on her, but not actually say anything to convince her he deserved her pity and forgiveness.

Who was he to look hurt? She didn't cheat on him. He destroyed her, and it made her all shades of angry just thinking about it. If he wanted sympathy or pity from her he had another thing coming. As far as she was concerned if he wanted to reconcile he would have taken the initiative instead of standing there like a sorry idiot.

Sighing, Lucy slipped into a stool in front of the bar where Troy and Beck were sitting. Troy didn't say anything, but instead flagged down Mirajane. She came over with only one flick of the wrist, eyes train on Lucy the entire time. Her blue eyes shone with tears, happy or sad she could not tell, but they did not fall. Closer up now, Lucy decided that Mirajane was immortal. She didn't appear any older, her hair long and white like she remembered it.

"Let me guess, you want a drink?" The take-over mage whispered, sounding breathless.

"Hell yeah." Lucy nodded, forcing a smile. She could use some alcohol to dull her inner turmoil. Mirajane returned the smile, but hers seemed genuine.

"Make that two!" Troy added, voice hoarse, yet somewhat cheerful.

"Make that four," Natsu took the seat beside Lucy, and when she looked to him his eyes held hers in a strong trance, "I think I need a couple drinks." He finished, not looking away from her.

After a moment Lucy slumped in her seat, resting her head on the counter. A loud clap of thunder shook the guild from outside. For once Natsu might have the right idea. "I think I'll take another too. It's been a long day."

* * *

><p>Mirajane rushed over to the liquor stand to make the orders, but his attention wasn't on the white haired mage. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but when he first noticed Lucy he spent a couple minutes trying to figure out if she was another one of his fucked up dreams or not. It didn't <em>seem<em> like one. He knew he couldn't make something like this up, he wasn't creative enough for that, and after a couple pinches to his side he decided that he was both conscious and still only flirting with insanity.

Then she looked at him, and every instinct in him told him to go to her, but he resisted. He wanted to look at her, re-familiarize himself with her eyes, her lips, her curves. She looked so different standing there in her military uniform, water dripping from her bangs. He wished she'd worn her hair down, so he could see how long it grew. Or that she wore the same skimpy clothing she used to so he could see how her body had changed. Did she have new battle scars? A tattoo?

Before he knew it he had her in his arms, nose buried in the top of her tight bun. For him there was no thought that lead to the action, his body saw her-wanted her-and then obtained her. Having her back in his arms, safe and sound, had a surreal effect on him. He'd dreamed of that very moment so many times, and now that it'd happened he found it hard to comprehend. Not because she was so different, but because he didn't believe it'd ever happen.

She'd begun to shake in his arms, and could smell the saltiness coming to her eyes. He wondered what could be possibly going through her head. He hoped she was as happy to see him as he to see her, that maybe it would be easy to put things back the way it used to be before she left them. Before she left him. He inhaled, embracing the warm liquid trailing down his cheeks.

She smelled so good. Like fresh air and honey. Or something like that. Too bad the embrace didn't last long enough for him to figure it out for sure. No, she had to ruin the moment by acting all professional and serious. He supposed it was true-time does change people, and that didn't necessarily mean for the better. The Lucy he knew loved spontaneous adventures and sudden decisions, but something told him that the Lucy sitting next to him at the bar now would frown upon such ideals. The way she looked at him, eyes void of emotion and posture stiff physically hurt him because he'd imagined their reunion a million times but it never begun in such a cold state.

And then her voice, quiet, stern, and practiced, speaking words that should never be said by her, in the manner that she said them. It killed him to see her so…wounded. He longed to take all her struggles for his own so she could regain the innocence he remembered. He would take a million blows, a billion life threatening attacks, and a trillion breaks of the heart to change what'd happened seven years ago.

Glancing over with teeth clenched hard, eyes squinting to keep the tears at bay, he looked at the Lucy he made. He could see all the broken promises in the dullness of her skin and the shadows in her eyes. He could sense the love he craved buried underneath all of the bridges he'd burned down. When she walked away from him, he could see the weariness in the way her steps lagged. He got the feeling that he frightened her by the way she hid her face.

And it killed him, because he'd asked for a miracle, and he got one. But seeing her like this made his nightmares a walk in the park. When will the world stop throwing him a hand of bleeding hearts? When will he get his break? And why was it that whenever he loved someone, they suffered just as badly as he did, and most of the time even worse?

Just look at Lucy.

Just look at what his affections did to Lisanna.

Mirajane returned with the order, and as she handed him his two drinks she looked down at him with a meaningful stare. She always did that. Like he could figure out what the fucking woman wanted him to do. When he didn't respond with anything other than a deadpan stare, she narrowed her eyes and looked at Lucy rapidly. He followed the hint.

What exactly was he supposed to fucking say?

'Hey, I know I was a fucking jackass the last time we saw each other, but I never stopped loving you?'

He couldn't just come out with something like that. Lucy seemed rather fragile, sitting there swirling her drink, and if he didn't know what would happen if he admitted his feelings to her right off the bat. He couldn't visualize a happy conclusion though.

So he would keep it to himself for now.

"Thanks Mirajane," Lucy spoke up and Natsu instantly zoned in on it. She sounded conflicted, "I see you still make the best drinks around."

Mirajane laughed, the sound giddy. It made Natsu flinch. The last time Mirajane had sounded like that had been before Lisanna died. Another thing he couldn't change. "I wouldn't go _that_ far, but thanks. So tell us Lucy—uhm…tell us about yourself Agent Heartfilia. "

Lucy looked stun at the rephrasing of the question. For his part, Natsu would bet money he looked confused. Sometimes he wondered if Mirajane went off the deep end. Not like she didn't have a reason to take the leap. Out of everyone affected by actual death, Mirajane took it the hardest. losing someone once, have them come back to life, only to have them die again. The world had a funny way of working. He refocused himself in the conversation on hand because that train of thought would have him spiraling into the darker parts of his mind in no time at all.

Something sparked in Lucy's eyes, and for the first time since she entered the guild a genuine smile moved onto her lips. It made butterflies in Natsu's stomach. He couldn't tell if they felt nice or made him want to get sick. "Well, I was once part of this guild, they were kind of jerks to me so I left. I traveled a lot," She paused here, eyes darting over to him before looking down, "and uhh, met some people at some…neat places, and then eventually joined the military."

The majority of the guild had moved towards the bar to catch Lucy's vague words. Natsu had a million questions brimming at the end of the tongue._ Did she ever get hurt? Where did she stay? What did she do for SEVEN years?_ _Who did she meet? Did she meet someone else?_ But he would wait. Now was not the time to ask those questions. That would have to wait until they were alone.

And they _would_ be alone. Mark his words.

Because Natsu didn't believe in miracles, nope, he never would. But the world had a way of making things happen, all he had to do was be patient.

Of all the things he'd learned, patience happened to be one of them. He endured seven years of waiting, he could do another seven more. But only for her.

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

THERE. THE AWAITED MEETING OF NATSU AND LUCY: COMPLETED. I EVEN UPDATED QUICKLY BECAUSE EVERYONE SEEMED TO BE FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT.

So, any thoughts on it? Was it what you expected (this was the fluffy part I was worrying about, the original version before I edited it was much…happier. But that just didn't fit the story, so I changed it XP)

And about the poll on my profile. Some have been PMing me or posting in a review their choices for the next big story but not actually voting! You need to vote on the poll otherwise your preferences won't be tallied!

And in regard to the actual reviews: I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH. I write for the sake of sharing my work with people who have the same interest, but without the reviews I don't think I'd actually update any of my stories. You guys keep me going as an author! SO THANK YOU. HONOR ON YOU. HONOR ON YOUR FAMILY. HONOR ON YOUR COW.


	15. Chapter 15

V.

Sometime between the bottom of her first drink, and the first couple sips of her second a gruff, calm voice called for Natsu from the second floor of the guild. Lucy looked up, eyes pausing on the staircase for a fleeting second in remembrance of the last time she marched up those stairs before moving up it to see if she could spot the speaker of the curt voice. She had no such luck, who ever shouted for him probably retreated back into an office or something.

Beside her Natsu pushed away from the bar, the legs of the stool creaking underneath him. He ran a hand through his slightly longer pink hair, stressed eyes zipping over ever so briefly to her before he started for the stairs. He walked different now. She didn't notice before when he approached her, but now that she looked with her judgment unclouded she started to notice small changes. Like the confidence in his stride, the slight gimp in his right leg when he stepped on it, and the way his shoulders never seemed to relax. He had an edgy twitch to him, like his mind wouldn't let him settle down. She knew that feeling well.

Maybe that could be from her presence, being in Natsu's presence sure put her on edge.

Since her spiel about professionalism and boundaries Natsu hadn't spoken a single word to her. Not like she wanted him to, she could call herself content with the awkward silence between him and her, and if she didn't have to work with him in the morning she'd keep it that way. But not for the reason one would expect. Sure, a big part of her wanted to give him a good taste of how upset she still felt. She wanted to see him crumble, wanted her words to tear threw him the way her heat waves tore through her. She wanted to play his game, and win, but truth be told, she knew she couldn't be outright cold to him-even if it killed her to be nice-because being courteous to her employers or temporary team members played a big part in the persona of the military. She couldn't do the things she wanted to do, but she supposed a nice cold shoulder would do. Her mother taught her that 'if she had nothing nice to say then not to say anything at all'. So she'd go by that ideal for now, until a better one arises.

"Ahem."

Lucy turned her attention back to the bar. Mirajane stood in front of her, eyes narrowed in that all knowing way of hers. Color Lucy embarrassed because she'd just been caught watching Natsu by _Mirajane_ of all people. Wonderful.

"All formalities aside: It is real nice to see you again Lucy." Leaning down so their conversation became more private, she spoke in a hushed tone, sincerity buried in the depths of her deep blue eyes. Now that she got a look at them up close and person, her irises were rimmed in red.

Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but realized she had nothing to say to her. So she gulped down another swig of her drink. She had no idea what the concoction was, but it did its job well.

"I won't push you to drop your titles, even though it's weird calling you by your last name when we don't really call Troy 'Agent Griffin', but we'll do whatever makes you comfortable. Also if you don't mind I would like to catch you up on the now and happening," She looked passed her, and Lucy resisted the urge to follow her gaze, "I'm sure you're wondering about the new additions to the guild."

She couldn't deny that she wanted details. She wouldn't have asked because of the fine line she was forced to balance on, but as long as Mirajane offered Lucy didn't see the harm in listening to her. Thinking back to the two blue haired children, Lucy couldn't help the half smile. "That would be nice, Mirajane."

"Great." The white haired woman propped herself up onto the counter, a dish rag in one hand, and an empty mug in the other. Lucy looked down the row of people along the bar to see most of them without a drink, but not exactly put off by that. Most of the faces were familiar, but the two people she needed to see were not in the bunch. Erza still remained missing, along with Lisanna. Lucy never considered Erza falling in battle. The idea simultaneously terrified her and surprised her.

"We'll start with the guild master. Are you aware that Master Makarov passed away?"

Lucy caught her breath. "No." The single words came out rough. The old man treated her like a daughter, and she looked up to him more than her own father.

Mirajane smiled sadly, a sympathetic gesture. "We have good reason to believe he knew of his…limits because he reintroduced Laxus to the guild. A couple weeks prior to the late Master's decision, he'd made the news—in a good way. Laxus traveled a lot, and he came across a town ravaged by bandits. He saved a young boy's life. Master Makarov had decided that the one good deed proved that Laxus had grown up. A year later Master Makarov died at Porlyusica's from old age, and Laxus took his place as guild master."

Lucy had just gotten her emotions together not even ten minutes ago, and here she sat, ready to bawl her eyes out again. Taking a deep breath that burned all the way up her throat , Lucy stammered out a response. "Does he have a grave?"

Mirajane nodded, and Lucy silently resolved to visit it before she left.

"But there's more. You do know that a guild member passed away during the last visit to the Dark forest?" Mirajane averted her eyes, and Lucy got a sinking feeling in her stomach as she nodded her head.

"L-Lisanna…." Mirajane set the glass down, her now free hand clenching, "She was killed in action."

Lucy had been dying to know, but now that she did, her feelings got all jumbled up. She couldn't say she could grieve for Lisanna like she would for Makarov. For starters she didn't know the girl very well, and the one real experience she had with her wasn't a good first impression. But she would grieve for the sake of her friends. For Mirajane and Elfman who'd lost their little sister for the second time. This time permanently.

"I'm sorry," Placing a hand on the other woman's hand, she started a bit when the skin she expected to be warm was cold, frosty even, "No one deserves to die by the hands of another. In my opinion that's a premature death."

Blinking, Mirajane turned her hand so it grasped Lucy's. "Thank you. You don't know how happy it makes me to here that, especially coming from you."

"Okay then," Lucy tried for a smile, but she knew it fell short, "Now how about some happier news."

The white haired mage nodded, retracting her hand and looking up to the ceiling. "Let's see, Gray, Natsu, Juvia, Gajeel, Freed, Elfman and Cana became S class mages. When Gray became an S class mage, he grabbed Juvia and kissed her, starting their relationship. That was pretty great."

Lucy smiled at that. She could so picture that happening. Lucy would bet money that Gray didn't even think before he did it either because Gray was that type of guy.

"Uhm, Elfman and Evergreen got together. That was a bit of a shocker at first. No one saw it coming until we caught them in a pool together. They have a newborn girl together now. Her name's Feya. She's cute as a button and carries on the Strauss blue eyes and white hair!"

Lucy looked behind her, eyes rooming the guild until they landed on Evergreen. She lovingly held her daughter, the purple blanket from before curled around the tiny body. Lucy caught tuffs of white hair poking out from the top.

A poke at her thigh tugged in her attention to the bar. Peering down, she jerked out of surprise after meeting the red eyes of one of the blue haired children. "Who are you pwedy lady? Why's eweryone talkin' bout chu?" The little boy wiped at his eyes with the hand that did not remain fisted in her pants.

She didn't know what it was about children, but they always put her in a good mood no matter how awful of one she'd been in earlier. This little boy, what with his curious red eyes and innocent smile, melted a little of coldness she'd put in her heart when entering the guild.

Mirajane giggled, leaning over the counter to get a look at the child. Her long hair fell over her shoulder, piling up on the clean countertop. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, Blade?"

The boy, Blade, grinned. The devious smile reminiscent of the iron dragon slayer's. Now that Mirajane mentioned it, he looked a little tired. From just waking up or never falling asleep she could not be sure, but when the little boy yawned Lucy had to hold back the swoon. He reminded her of the children at the hospital she played with while there. They'd brought light and laughter back into her life, and for that she missed them. Maybe she'd write to the hospital when she finished the mission.

"How could I sleep with all this noise!" Blade exclaimed, pudgy arms flinging into air. The motion had his short scraggily hair bouncing around his forehead, the straight locks mused from what Lucy believed to be a bout of the tossing and turnings.

Chuckling, Mirajane placed her hand on Blade's head. The boy flinched playfully. "So whose she?"

"I'm Agent Heartfilia…." Lucy looked down at him, and she couldn't keep her professional demeanor with him. Not when she wanted to take him into her arms and blow raspberries into his neck, "But you can call me Lucy if you'd like."

Blade's eyes narrowed in thought. He reached up, tiny fingers touching her uniform. He perked up a bit after a moment, leveling his curious stare at Mirajane. "Is this _the _Luwcy? The wone Natsu tells me bout sometimes?"

Stricken, Lucy tensed as she closed her eyes. So Natsu was close to the boy? Enough to talk about her to him? She could picture it. Him sitting cross legged on the ground, Blade across from him while Natsu spoke of zealous adventures. She could see the excitement and happiness in his expression as clear as day. Then, she'd come up, and he'd frown. The thought sent a shock of bitterness through her.

"Yes, she's Natsu's old partner." Mirajane answered, less energetic than before. The question had a sobering effect on the conversation, and it seemed Lucy wasn't the only one to feel it.

Blade, oblivious to the shift in the mood, bounced on his toes, laughing. "I can't believe I'm actually meeting you. This is _so_ cool!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you too." Lucy smiled, but it fell short. Kind of like everything else that had the potential to be good in her life.

"Blade!" A high, loving voice called, and the boy turned, smile falling. "What are you doing out of the nursery? You know how grumpy you can get when you don't get a full night's sleep." Levy stepped up to the bar, eyebrow quirked in warning.

"But _mommy," _Blade complained, stomping his foot in protest, "There are new people here. And look! Lucy!" He motioned to her, over his shoulder. For the first time she noticed the dinosaur footy pajamas he wore, navy blue in color with dino-head printed pokadots. She never really thought about having kids of her own, she didn't have time to while traveling. But now, sitting at a guild where children now milled about, Lucy couldn't help but wistfully think about it. If she had a little boy would she dress him in adorable footy pajamas too?

In front of her Levy shifted her gaze up to meet Lucy's, and when it did the solid script mage bit the inside of her cheek, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her hair. So no longer wore her hair in a bandanna, and it fell down to her chest in wild waves. She wore a baggy black T-shirt that cut down into a low neckline. She filled it out nice, and it also covered her swelling stomach adequately.

Her brown eyes, still bright and hopeful like before she left, seemed to smile at her. It made her heart feel lighter seeing something familiar in a place she used to know better than the back of her own palm. She tended to worry about missing everything while she was away, but the loving innocence dwelling in Levy's stare reassured her.

"I see," Levy spoke, bringing the conversation back to life, gaze never wavering, "It is awfully exciting, but that's no excuse for you to sneak out of bed. Now go before your father sees you out and about."

Blade made this adorable 'eep' sound, nodding enthusiastically. He bolted from the bar, head darting from side to say as if looking to see if the coast was clear. When he deemed it safe he dashed back to a room on the other side of the guild. Lucy remembered it as the infirmary. Another thing that'd changed.

She almost fell off her stool from the force of the bear hug Levy crushed her in moments after Blade disappeared through the door. Gripping the counter hard, she struggled with keeping herself sitting up straight. The last thing she needed was Levy falling over and hurting herself.

The woman tucked her head down on to Lucy's shoulder blade, sobs shaking her body to the very bone. Nasty sounding sniffles tore from her nose as the blue haired mage wound her arms tight around her neck, pressing her body so close that it made Lucy all sorts of uncomfortable. She'd never dealt with a pregnant woman before, and as much as Lucy wanted to return the hug she didn't want to accidently hurt her either, like what if she burst? It felt nice to be embraced by someone she could openly return it without there being any strings attached though. Too bad she couldn't return it the way she wanted to.

"Lucy, I've missed you so much. So much has happened…." Wrapping a single arm around the girl to offer the tiny bit of comfort she could, Lucy ducked her head to whisper to her old friend.

"I've missed you too." She felt something being pressed into her free hand, and on further inspection she found a wad of tissues there courteous of Mirajane. Mouthing a 'thank you' to the white haired barmaid, Lucy used one to wipe her own eyes. So much for a tear free, and professional reunion.

Levy's frame shivered as another loud sniffle ripped through her nasal passage. Pulling away from the embrace, Lucy offered her a tissue. With a silly grin on her face and a choked chuckle, Levy took them an blew her nose dramatically. She then wiped the underneath of her eyes with the remaining clean ones, wiping smudged make up away. Placing the used _Kleenex_, on the counter, Levy took a calming breath.

"Lucy, I-I just want to tell you I'm sorry. For not telling you." Lucy saw guilt in the way Levy looked down, like she couldn't meet her eyes.

Fighting back the urge to cry again, Lucy swallowed down the strangled noise dancing on the tip of her tongue. "I was angry back then. I said things that I shouldn't have said. My anger was at Natsu, but I took it out on you guys instead. So I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry too." She didn't know where the words came from, but they were true. Everything she wanted to say to Natsu, she said to them because back then she didn't have the gall to yell at Natsu directly.

"Oh, Lu-chan," Levy probably would have pulled her into another tight hug if a rough hand hadn't clamp onto her shoulder to keep her in place. Lucy halfway expected to see Levy blow up at Gajeel's act of subduing her excessive movement, but instead she leaned into the touch, calming back down. She looked so at peace, so content and joyful that Lucy couldn't bring herself to tell Levy that she'd prefer it if she left the 'chan' part off her name. So she let it slide. God, her resolve was weak when it came to these people.

"It's good to have you around again, bunny girl." Gajeel, what with his syndical smirk, devious narrowed eyes, and overall wild appearance still had this air of danger to him. Even with Levy pressed up against him. But, if Lucy could say anything changed about him, she'd say that Gajeel…expressed his happier emotions more. For one, he sure seemed happy to see her again..erm, well, as happy as Gajeel could manage without wrecking his 'badboy' reputation.

A loud, indignant snort sounded from behind her, bring her head back down from the clouds. Craning her neck, she frowned at Troy who looked about ready to split his gut. "B-Bunny girl?"

Rolling her eyes, Lucy downed the rest of her drink. She didn't foresee herself living that one down anytime soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I know little of your spat with Lucy, other than you two have some issues to duke out. I would suggest getting them squared away before you leave for the mission, because as the team leader from Fairy Tail, you need to take the reins and steer. There's no good in being a distracted driver, Natsu."

Natsu leaned up against the wall of the small office, feeling too edgy to sit down. He never liked having conferences here, and now that coming up here meant having conferences with _Laxus_, he disliked it even more. To add onto his discontent, he also hated being told what to do, especially by a man he barely respected. Laxus telling him what to do equaled someone like…_Jose._

And in reference to his situation with Lucy, Natsu didn't see it Laxus's business. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew that these types of things were delicate and couldn't be rushed. His team had never been without drama, and in time he became good at quelling fights or arguments. Unless ice face had something to do with it. Then he'd beat the shit out of him. Regardless of that, some might say he'd grown into a sensible leader.

He'd like to call it avoiding the wrath of Erza.

"Laxus, what happened between Lucy and I cannot be patched in a single night. There's seven years of unknown feelings built up between us," He replied, dark eyes serious, "I think she's still holding a lot of anger towards me still, anger that will take more than a night to resolve."

"And if that is so, how do you think that will affect her performance on the battlefield?" A hint of iciness chilled Laxus's voice, and Natsu tensed as the direction of the conversation turned darker.

"If you're saying that she might get hurt then I assure you I'll protect her." He could feel his anger building up as he got more defensive. If Laxus thought he'd let something bad happen to Lucy after just getting her back then the guild master was denser than he looked.

"You mean like the way you vowed to protect Lisanna?" Laxus said sarcastically, "You did a stellar job there."

Lurching forward before he could process his body's movement, Natsu moved away from the wall and maneuvered around Laxus's desk, stopping when he stood inside the new master's personal space. Laxus stood up, eyes challenging. Natsu snarled, if the guy wanted a fight, he'd give it to him-verbal or physical.

"You can't judge me when you weren't even a part of the guild yet when it happened! I nearly killed myself trying to save her. I must have barreled through the bloodshed of a dozen men to reach her, men I could have saved, only to end up covered in her blood anyway. Do you know how hard it was for me to walk away from that? To have the responsibility of telling the guild about her death?" Poking him in the chest, Natsu dared Laxus to make a move to fight him. It wouldn't be the first time they'd had a spat that resulted in violence since Laxus became master, and he was itching to put his fist into that smug mug of the novice master. Natsu found himself constantly trying to push Laxus, make him snap, and Laxus seemed to like to do the same thing to him.

Laxus let out an exasperated breathe from his nose, sitting back down in his chair. Natsu deflated, somewhat disappointed that Laxus didn't want a fight. Pushing away from the desk so he faced Natsu, Laxus spoke evenly. "And that's what worries me," He raised his hand in a lazy flyaway gesture, "Two years later, and you still have all that pent up guilt and frustration."

Natsu was taken aback at that. "What, I'm not allowed to be angry or upset over the loss of someone close to me?" He sneered in retaliation.

"No, I didn't say that at all. But what I am saying is that you've always had a hard time keeping your emotions in check," Natsu opened his mouth to protest, but Laxus gave him a stern glare, "Yeah, yeah, I admit, you've grown more responsible. You're a good leader for the team and you take charge when things get tough. But I'm not talking about how you handle a situation."

Crossing his arms, Natsu glowered down at the master. "Then what are you talking about?"

"How you first react to a situation."

Natsu stilled, eying Laxus with barely concealed venom. Natsu knew he struggled with doing the calm, cool, and collected thing in the past. He knew that better than anyone and as an adult tried to right his wrongs, but he couldn't change his personality completely. His rashness was just a part of him that he accepted and he really wished Laxus would learn how to accept it like Makarov did.

Natsu flared his nostrils, letting Laxus know he had no intention of responding to him. So he continued with his thoughts. Natsu could see him stringing his sentences together moments before he said them, like he planned on explaining something big to him. "Okay, I made it clear to you that your team was chosen because you guys made it out of that forest alive for the most part right?" Laxus paused here, and Natsu nodded.

"You know that Troy is back because of the same reason? He was the only one from the military to make it back." Another nod.

"Good," Laxus leaned down, opening the bottom drawer to his desk. He pulled out a letter, the paper neatly folded, "With that being said, I assigned Gildarts on a secret mission weeks before I assigned the Dark Forest mission to you. Can you guess what Gildarts's objective was?"

Natsu stared, thoughts racing to come up with an answer. When he didn't answer immediately Laxus continued. "I sent him to the Dark Forest for to run an analysis on the forest so that way if it changed, you'll have a heads up. His results came in this letter yesterday."

Natsu squinted, a mixture of overall negative feelings making him dizzy with doubt. He didn't approve of the side mission, especially since Laxus sent Gildarts alone. Sure, the older man had power far beyond the average mage, and age had only given him more experience and wisdom, but a number of things could have gone wrong in there as the Dark Forest held mysteries that could kill a man-no matter how talented.

"Aside from a few more man eating plant breeds, Gildarts exploration went smoothly until the fourth day. He keep on the lighted path, replacing some of the damaged lamps as he went, and on day three he figured he'd be at the center in a couple more days time. The fourth day he got to what he approximated as the half way mark to the center of the forest."

Despite himself, Natsu wanted to know what happened next. Crossing his arms across his chest, he huffed in attempt to look disinterested.

"He met up with a powerful mage here, Natsu, and this is what bothers me about you going on this mission. I'm not sure if you can handle it, emotionally." Laxus's hard tone grumbled, his brow creased in something that might have looked like sincerity if he wasn't Laxus.

"This mage took Gildarts out before he could move into an offensive stance, but didn't hurt him. Gildarts woke up outside the forest on the ground, all his supplies, samples, and weapons gone." Laxus leaned forward, seriousness glinting in his narrowed eyes.

A mage that could take out Gildarts? Natsu wouldn't mind meeting them in battle. "Do you know anything more of this mage?"

Laxus nodded. "She is an exquip mage." His voice sounded grave.

Natsu's breathe caught, and a dark bitterness settled into his chest. Anger crawled through his veins, searing fire gathering at the tips of his twitching fingers. Flashes of blood, gleaming metal, and a horrible sickening smirk made his anger boil over into rage. He remembered the way Lisanna's murderer just slipped away, disappearing before his very eyes. Her body blending into the carnage of a battlefield. A brutal wave of barely reined in resentment bubbled under his skin. He knew nothing of that mage save for her magic. She fought with swords, her skills matching Erza's, and even exceeding the talented red head. Natsu had never seen an equip mage move through suits and swords quite like that one did, and two years ago he would have never wanted to see it again.

But now, he wouldn't mind watching her burn.

"Before you burn down my office again, you should realize we don't know if it was the woman who killed Lisanna." Laxus stood up, lingering by the door, "I expect you to debrief your team now, including those from the military." He opened the door, motioning Natsu over with a nod of his head. He looked eager to get him out of the office. Natsu shared the feeling. He avoided Laxus as much as possible, and after that conversation, Natsu would dodge Laxus's attention for the rest of the month.

"Hurry now Natsu, have I have business." Laxus grumbled, eyes watching him carefully. Really, Natsu couldn't blame him. When Laxus first took Makarov's office, he 'accidently' set it on fire twice.

As soon as Natsu stepped out of the office, the door shut behind him, the click soft. Closing his eyes, he let out a deep sigh, gathering his thoughts and swallowing the rage from before down. Natsu by nature never liked getting serious. Not when the possibilities of fun could be had, but he understood that life didn't work that way and especially because he didn't want to do something usually meant that he really needed to get it done.

"Ahem," Eyes snapping open, Natsu faced the S class mage request board. Troy rested his back on the wall next to it, arms and ankles crossed like he'd been standing there for a while, "Hello Natsu. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to you since our arrival."

Inwardly, he groaned. What was it with people coming up to him with obvious intent of having a serious conversation. Natsu didn't do serious. "Sorry, I was a little distracted." He all but sneered; after all, he couldn't be outright rude to him. It wasn't Troy's fault that everything troublesome thing festering in his life decided that _today_ seemed like a good day to come to a head.

"About that," Kicking off from the wall, Troy came to stand a foot away from Natsu, intense dark eyes glinting with curiosity, "Any thoughts about my rookie?"

Suspiciously, Natsu tried to get a read on Troy. He had no idea what the military officer knew of his past with Lucy, and out of embarrassment, Natsu had no intentions of sharing it to him. From the last mission he had with Troy Natsu figured out that he liked to pick on people when they did stupid things. Troy would have a field day with Natsu's blunder.

"Well…she's a lot different that how I remember her." Scratching the back of his head, Natsu narrowed his attention to the creaky old floorboards. He hoped Troy would take his vague answer and leave him be so he could gather his thoughts for the meeting he was being forced to hold downstairs.

Troy's feet shifted, his mud caked boots taking on the wood. "It has been seven years since she left. Honestly, I can't blame her for leaving."

With a start, Natsu met the other man's eyes. He didn't find pity there, but instead an accusing glare. So he did know. Grand. "Me either."

"So what are your intentions now that she's back?"

He always admired how blunt Troy could be, he never used fancy phrasing to beat around the bushes. Natsu hated it when people did that, when _women_ did that. It just made everything so much more complicated, but the fact of the matter didn't come down to Troy's blunt question. It came down to how Natsu wanted to answer. He could lie, and say he didn't know. But Natsu never was very good had being convincing when not telling the truth, so he doubted Troy would believe him.

"I not going to let her leave me again without a fight, if that was what you were looking to hear." Instead of gauging Troy's reaction, Natsu looked outside through one of the windows. He couldn't see much. Maybe from the storm, maybe from the set sun. He estimated that it must be around six now, probably even later.

"Hmm, I was hoping for more in-depth answer but I suppose that'll do for now," Troy muttered, "Well, as pleasant as this little talk was, I have some words for the new guild master now." Side stepping Natsu, Troy approached the closed door. At the close proximity, something snapped into place for Natsu, and with a jolt he grabbed onto Troy's forearm.

"I just remembered," Natsu let go of Troy's arm, voice dipping low, "A bit ago I had this bizarre experience. It knocked me out cold, and when my vision blurred back together…I saw you, and agent Zimmerman sitting across from me on what I think may have been a train. I was lying down. Do you have any idea what that could have meant?"

Troy turned, a hand stroking his chin in thought. His forehead broke out in wrinkles, and he closed his eyes like he needed the darkness to help him put together something hard to explain. Thinking that hard looked painful to Natsu. He wondered if he looked like then when trying to finish a stupid jigsaw puzzle or something.

"I'm going to answer your question with a question of my own, it may sound odd though" Troy clarified, a stern, solemn air settling over him, "Natsu, do you have any scars, and if so did they begin to glow during your...episode?"

Blinking, Natsu's hard cupped the scar on his neck over the material of his scarf. His mouth gaped open, stunned. "Yes, how did you know?"

Troy zeroed in on the hand resting on the scarf. He shook his head, like he'd been trying to a grip on a situation that he had no understand of-Natsu could relate to that.

"If you ever get a chance to see Lucy with her military scarf off take a look at her neck. There's a sizable scar there, and it glowed while she had a heat wave. I think her heat waves has something to do with what happened with you because they get her when she's either thinking about you or emotionally compromised." Troy stepped back to the door, one hand bawling up in preparation to knock. Natsu got the feeling Troy was done talking.

Not if he had anything to do with it. "Heat wave?" A sinking feeling dragged down to the pit of his stomach. He had mix feelings about hearing that answer now that he asked. Of course, he wanted to know anything and everything that had to do with this strange, different Lucy, but in the same breathe he didn't know if he could handle any more bad news that directly related to him. He already had a lot of things on his plate to take care of before the night ended, and he could go without having another thing holding down his already heavy conscience.

The decision was stolen from him, as Troy answered. "I wouldn't be telling you this if you weren't the leader of your team, but, Lucy developed an illness approximately seven years ago. No doctors could cure it, but after a while she learned to stifle it. But every once in a while a 'heat wave' as she called it generates from her stomach and paralyzes her. It is very painful for her. During her military training, she had a severe one during a mock fight with a couple martial art masters, she was losing. In this one instance, the heat wave didn't cripple her. It burned forward and forced her magic into a solidly formed attack. It knocked the martial artists out, and a couple seconds after she fell unconscious too. Another odd occasion was on the train. Agent Zimmerman used his magic on her to get a look at what had her so nervous to return to Fairy Tail. That resulted in a heat wave that had her scar glowing and bleeding again, even though it'd been closed for a little under a year." His words were rushed, like he had some reserve with actually sharing the information with Natsu. He couldn't blame the army man though. He could picture how angry Lucy would be if she found out Troy told him such personal information.

Not to mention there was a decent chance that Lucy's suffering could be traced back to him and his attachment to her. Being a dragon slayer had its perks, such as the enhanced senses and awesome magical abilities, but with every good thing came drawbacks. Or at least where he was concerned, he considered it a drawback. The mating principle, when done correctly could be a beautiful thing, like what Gajeel and Levy had together. But when something goes wrong, life transformed into a living hell for the people involved, especially if the feelings shared were strong enough.

Turns out that his and Lucy's bond must have been strong enough for her to have such severe separation symptoms. His own were pretty bad, what with the dreams, the hallucinations, and the empty pit in his chest and stomach that wouldn't seem to fill no matter what he did. But her 'heat waves', those were something only she dealt with. As much as he hated talking about these matters with Gajeel, Natsu resigned to asking him about it later because he never heard of such a thing.

What if she really had an illness, what if Gajeel never heard of something like that either? Natsu clenched his fists at the thought.

"Thanks for telling me Troy," Natsu tried for a passive tone, but it was obvious he was fretting over the news, "I didn't hear it from you." He assured with a weak smile.

Troy knocked on the door. "That's appreciated, she's already not happy with me. I'll be down in a couple minutes, so if you plan on making any announcements wait for me to come back down."

He wondered if Troy had been eavesdropping on his conversation with Laxus. Either way, it didn't bother him. Troy kept most things to himself unless he deemed it important for others to know, so he figured his…emotional status involving Lisanna and the mystery exquip mage was safe with him. Without answering, Natsu strode down the stairs, running a hand through his tangled hair. For some reason, the sounds of the rowdy guild faded to a lull when up stairs, and now that he entered the bar again the roar of the rowdy crowd intensified. He searched out Lucy, who now sat at a table with Levy and Gajeel. The blue haired mother was animatedly talking, and from the way she passionately moved her arms about he had no doubt that she dove into telling Lucy about her children.

With phony confidence he strode over to the table, and about a dozen steps away Lucy noticed him. She visibly stiffened, the warm look in her eyes disappearing and her posture returning to the prior straightness it'd been when he left the room. Natsu's heart sunk.

He couldn't look her in eye. Not when he knew what he most likely put her through. So he focused on Gajeel, who unlike his chatty wife, noticed the change and atmosphere and sat up at attention.

"Gajeel, can I talk to you in private." Natsu said after arriving at the table, efficiently cutting off Levy's chatter about her and Gajeel's wedding.

He jumped up at the offer, more than happy to have an excuse to escape the girl talk. It amused Natsu to see _Gajeel_ dance around someone as small as Levy. But he couldn't blame him as Levy could have quite the temper, especially when pregnant. Anything could set that girl off.

Sneaking a peak at Lucy, who was dutifully ignoring him, he couldn't help but wonder what she'd be like she if she ever were to get pregnant.

The thought had butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

ASDFGHJKL. This chapter is so long. Or should I say longer than the average chapter minus the intermission chapters. But a lot happened in it. The anticipated Levy and Lucy reunion. Some updates from Mirajane. Lucy's feelings towards Lisanna's death (That'll probably be brought back up). You guys also met one of the kids! What'cha think of Blade?

And with Natsu. Well, you got to see a new and improved Laxus, and how Natsu interacts with him. Got a better feeling for Natsu's emotions towards Lisanna's death. Laxus also pushed Natsu forward into talking things out with Lucy. Funfun. Also, a sneak peak at Lisanna's killer. Yay!

And then Natsu gets caught by Troy. At least you guys know what Natsu's intentions are now! Things are starting to get interesting now!

OTHER NEWS:

The last chapter received 30 REVIEWS ZOMG. Thanks for all the support you guys. Yes, I know I don't respond very often to them, but I love each and every one!

The 300th review mark is nearing, meaning that another oneshot will be written for that reviewer!

So far, The Chase is On/Adrenaline Rush is winning the poll on my profile!

I'm gonna work on a NALU AMV! Yay!

My other story Spin was updated! Check that out. It's a lot fluffier than this story if you're looking for a break from the angst!

The Oneshot for TENNIS-w-GUITARS has been posted. So check that out my peeps, it's a Nalu hurt/comfort!

I posted a story called Not Important, It's a funny all dialogue fic. I like just posted a little over han hour ago and people seem to like it well enough. So if you're looking for a light hearted break after this chapter of FORT. Then there you go!

Woah, that was a lot of updating. I'm gonna go to bed now. Bye Bye my lovelies!


	16. Chapter 16

VI.

Lucy wouldn't mind if she just faded away, molding into the shadows to get out of the blaring spotlight that seemed to have followed her ever since she stepped foot into the guild. It would be easy enough, the sun had set an hour ago, and the rain pouring down outside could be a suitable lullaby. She wondered what she would dream of, would it be like all the others now that she'd returned? Would _he_ be there, watching over her like he always seemed to do behind the veil of her eyelids? Rubbing her eyes with the back of her fists, Lucy frowned, biting her lip in minor frustration. Gritting her teeth, Lucy decided that it didn't matter. What mattered was making it through another day.

Full intent on bidding her comrades and the guild good night, Lucy slid off the chair, yawning as she leveled her stare on Levy. Moments before Natsu had stolen Gajeel, rushing the iron dragon slayer out the door. It had a sobering effect on Levy's happy chitchat. Like seeing Natsu had her remembering that things were different now.

Levy had children, a husband, a family that loved her. She found the life she yearned for, and no matter how utterly happy Lucy felt for her old friend, a small part of her resented it too. Seeing the bright smile, the proud glint in her eyes, and the overall content atmosphere around her as she talked about her current pregnancy (despite Gajeel's insistence it was another boy, Levy seemed confident it would be a girl), Lucy couldn't swallow the hard feeling crawling up her chest. It physically hurt her.

Just as Lucy opened her mouth to wish the blue haired mother good night, the front doors behind her slammed open, the sound of the doors hitting the wall behind them accompanied by a dramatic clap of thunder. The idle chatter around the room stopped abruptly, and out of curiosity, Lucy turned towards the doors, expecting to see Natsu being theatrical or something.

Instead, Lucy met eyes with Erza. The other woman stood in the doorway, still half outside, breathing hard like she'd run the entire way here. Her short red hair looked disheveled, dripping wet locks dangling in her face. Intense brown eyes scanned the room, and when they landed on Lucy, Erza stiffened.

Grunting, she left the doorway, the big front doors swinging shut for mere seconds before they were forced open by two equally as disheveled and out of breathe dragon slayers. They exchanged a look, not a reassuring one, but a worried one. What exactly had happened out there?

Coming to a stop a couple steps away from her, Erza remained emotionless, her brow furrowed in an emotion Lucy couldn't decipher. It looked wrong on Erza though, she knew that much. She'd seen Erza angry, upset, wounded, and heartbroken, but never had something so…negative befallen onto the Titania. This emotion was neither pure, nor regretful. The one word that came to mind was sullenness, but Lucy wouldn't peg it as that. Something much darker lurked beneath the exterior. Lucy backed up, a mixture of shock and anxiety adding a frantic notion to her movement. Her legs bumped into the chair, making her stagger into the table where Levy sat. Something crashed to the ground. It sounded like glass.

Erza advanced on her, steps heavy and determined. A deep frown pulled down at her lips as she reached forward, and for a moment, Lucy thought she was going to touch her. Then a blinding light burst from that outstretched hand, and when it receded Lucy came face to face with a sharp sword.

She'd never been on this end Erza's obvious anger, and Lucy could say she never wanted to be again. Give her a bearcat any day. Give her Erza, and Lucy had to fight the urge to turn tail and run. Not from the thought of fighting, no Lucy was confident she could hold her own against the warrior woman now, but the look of absolute betrayal, the disappointment and disapproval churning in her eyes was a completely different monster to deal with, and Lucy couldn't help the catch in her breath as she hesitated.

Starring down the pointed edge, she gulped, eyes catching the gleam off of the polished metal. Sweat beaded up on the bridge of her nose, traveling down her face like little bullets. The pressure of the situation, what with the awful silence, had Lucy reeling. She never had an issue with tight situations, and even excelled at dealing with them most of the time. But something was amiss here, something concealed just below the surface, and it had her feeling positively claustrophobic. Her fists clenched, her palms wet, as she leveled her steady gaze onto ferociously serious brown eyes. She could only hold the gaze directly for a couple seconds before her eyes darted to the side, catching a glimpse of a pacing Natsu in the background. His eyes were trained on them, body tense as if readying to interfere at a seconds notice. Worry reflected in the pull of his mouth. That didn't reassure her.

"Erza." Lucy swallowed after uttering the name. It sounded weak, meek even. Clearing her throat, she straightened, adapting the posture of the military as she uttered the name again, this time with more conviction.

"Lucy Heartfilia," Erza hissed, anger and resentment laced in the snarled reply, "How kind of you to finally show up after _seven years_." Taking a threatening step forward, Erza brought the blade closer to Lucy's skin. The obvious threat, and the disdain in the way she said her name had Lucy bristling. Shouldn't she be the one taking that tone of voice?

Raising her head so the cold metal only grazed her skin, Lucy returned the snarl deciding it best to direct the conversation away from her past, and to the pointed object aimed at her jugular, "Put the sword away Erza."

"I'll put the sword away when you own up to what you did," Erza grumbled, a dangerous-almost murderous-look drawing her face into a dark shadow, "What do you have to say for yourself?" Her eyes never left Lucy, and she saw a flicker of something so familiar to her in them that her breath caught. Despair.

Lucy shivered, the intensity in the room practically at a boil. Despite herself, she felt the itch from the train ride with Beck and Troy returning, it tasted bad in her mouth, and it took all her will power to keep her resolve intact as she chose her next words. She wanted nothing more than to lash out at Erza, to spill her burden onto her in a messy pile so she could deal with it. The urge to yell, to preach, to lecture was almost too much for her, but she managed to bite back the harsh words, substituting them with just, fair thoughts that were far from the neutral perspective she wanted to keep, but not the raw emotion tearing her apart from inside out.

"What I did?" A snort, "I _had _to do what I did because of what you," spreading her arms wide to either side of her, Lucy gestured to the entire guild just to make herself more clear, "did."

Gritting her teeth, Erza shifted her stance, a determination settling into her that had Lucy wondering if she'd just stepped into a battle she had no hope of winning. Something about this new Erza made Lucy nervous, like the once calm, cool, and collected red head was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. She looked about ready to snap, and maybe, much to Lucy's chagrin, she was the straw that broke the camel's back.

But like every other obstacle fate threw at her, Lucy would take it all in stride, and wear the resulting scars with pride.

Settling into a white knuckled, bent knees, and edgy stance, Erza balanced on the balls of her feet as she spoke. "What we did was wrong, and we would have apologized if you'd given us enough time to, but what you did was selfish and cowardly. Because of your choices, people_ died_, and I just hope you're happy with how things turned out, because the rest of us are suffering for your short comings." Lucy twitched, rage pooling in her joints. She wanted to move, whether that movement would be violent or defensive she would never know, as she would _not _resort to a fist fight to resolve this. She could feel Troy's gaze on her back, telling her to keep her wits about her.

"I left for _you_," Lucy clutched at the side of the table with one hand, pointing at random people in the guild with the other, the first happening to be Gray, "And you," then Cana, "And you," and then Natsu because it was only natural, "And especially _you_. I left to make things easier. You guys seemed so happy with Lisanna back, and I was just getting in the way. I left to ensure your happiness." Lucy couldn't tell if the words were truthful or not, they sounded right, but they didn't feel it. Sure, she left for them, but she also left for her own peace of mind. Was that such a crime?

"Regardless of your motives, you left, and we had no idea where to find you, not even Master Makarov knew. And because of that people died—"

Tensing so her arm angled in a manner that could easily block a side swipe of a sword, Lucy prepared for the worst, something with Erza was way off kilter, and Lucy wasn't about to let her guard down as she interrupted the irate woman. "I presume that by 'people' you mean Lisanna. I am truly sorry to hear about her death, but what does me being away have to do with it? Do you wish it was me who gotten killed in the mission instead Erza, would that have made your life easier? Is that what has you so angry at me? Because I couldn't have taken Lisanna's place?" The words, everything she wanted to keep bottled up, were harsh enough to make the people of the guild whisper. It felt good to say them, to say something that had a direct and blunt meaning. No beating around the bush, no elaborate words to muddle it down. Raw, and powerful, just like they're supposed to be. For so long she fought a losing struggle with her jealousy of Lisanna. She dealt with years upon years of doubts regarding her place in Fairy Tail, and finally she might be able to come to a conclusion. Was she a replacement for Lisanna all along?

Erza's eyes widen, and she began to shake. Not from shock, or rage, or realization, but something that Lucy never would have thought to see from Erza. Delirious, delusional, deranged. The picture perfect image of madness. She moved with the type of passion that only a woman who lost it all could manage. Lucy could sympathize with that. Before she joined the Fiore Military, she figured she looked much the same, if not more desperate. Lucy got a feeling she would have to wait longer for her answer. What could another couple days of patience do to her anyway?

In front of her she saw the rest of Erza's restraint snap, and in a practiced motion the red head pulled the sword back, readying for a powerful stab.

Raising her arm, the jerky movement jarred the sword, grazing her throat as it bumped upwards, but loosening Erza's grasp on the hilt as the red head came forward. Bending backwards onto the table, Lucy kicked up, jarring the sword from Erza's hand, and sending it flying into the air. It landed somewhere behind the red headed warrior, but Lucy didn't have time to see the exact Location. Erza's other hand glowed, and out flashed another, longer, sword. With a harsh grunt, Erza bared her teeth and jumped at her, the blade aimed directly at Lucy's face.

Placing her arm across her face in case she didn't make it, Lucy scooted to the side. The point of the blade cut down the length of her forearm, pain blossoming at the slice. Crying out, Lucy rolled off the table just as the sword sliced into it right where Lucy's neck had just been. She chanced a look at her arm, and through the ripped part of her uniform she could see the blood seeping out of the sizable wound.

Holding the injury to her chest, Lucy held out her other hand just as Erza dislodged her sword from the table. The deranged woman turned on her, a faraway look clouding over the dependable brown Lucy wanted to see. Focusing on pushing her magic to her fingertips, she conjured enough energy to launch an attack of her own. She couldn't defend herself without the use of both her hands, especially against a sword of all things. Erza advanced, stalking around the table in a huff as her short red hair swung around her with the momentum of the next swing of her arm.

The air around Lucy picked up, lifting the pieces of hair that had fallen out of her bun from earlier as a light gust spiraled around her. A golden hue manifested around her fingers, lacing back and forth between the digits at a rapid pace, and in mere seconds the golden dust formed into a bright ball around her entire hand. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as Erza neared, only slight hesitance in her approach as Lucy also took a steady step forward, her Regulus Impact attack literally suspended at the tip of her finger tips in wait, the dimmed face of a lion rearing up into the light magic, ready for release. She didn't want to hurt her once nakama, she didn't want to face her in a one on one battle either, but Erza seemed far beyond reasoning, and if she wanted a fight, then Lucy would give her one. She wouldn't let these people watch her get stepped on, she needed to prove herself to them, and if that method involved facing a mad Erza, then so be it.

A guttural, almost animalistic cry, ripped from Erza's throat as the warrior charged, and with a start, Lucy fisted her hand, letting the light magic grow into a full sized lion head. In the back of her mind, Lucy registered the sounds of surprised gasps from the spectators of the guild. Smugness welled into her stomach. It made sense that they would react that way. To her knowledge, it's been ages since a celestial mage proved powerful enough to use this form of light magic.

"No!" And right before Lucy released the full power of the Regulus Impact someone tackled Erza to the ground. The sword in her hand, which had been angled in the 'just right' position to pierce her through her unguarded stomach, clattered to the floor as the red head tumbled to the ground, a pink haired dragon slayer pinning her down to the wood flooring as she begun to thrash and scream.

Taking a deep breathe, Lucy lowered her hand, letting the roaring light magic diminish into the air around her. With heavy eyes she watched as Erza struggled against Natsu, spitting and cursing with every sharp movement in hopes of bucking him off her. Natsu leaned closer to her, whispering something to her. She stilled, eyes widening before large tears breached her good eye and trailed down her cheek. She started to shake.

"But she's a traitor Natsu! How could you defend her when she's a traitor!" She wailed, Natsu slowly let one hand go, placing it on her check in a comforting gesture. Lucy watched in mild interest as Erza calmed a little more at the touch. It seems, that Natsu's looks were not the only thing that aged, but something in the touch told her that the fire mage had matured in more ways than one too.

A hand tapped her shoulder, causing Lucy to jump. Turning to face the new comer, she eyed the sheepish mage in front of her. The teen had long dark blue hair, her hangs pulled back into a heart shaped clip on the side of her head. A sad smile pulled her smooth lips upward as gentle deep brown eyes remained downcast. She wore a dress that fell just above her knees, the plain fabric a deep green color with spaghetti straps.

"Lucy," The teen whispered, the sound of her voice setting off a pang in her chest, "Come to the infirmary with me so I can look at your cuts."

Shocked, Lucy nodded, the throbbing of the wound on her arm and neck suddenly becoming more apparent now that the adrenaline rush had faded. She wondered where the sky dragon slayer had been hiding when Lucy first entered the guild, she sure wasn't anywhere in the bar.

Following Wendy up the stairs, Lucy chanced a glanced behind her. Natsu stood above Erza, who sat on the floor, accusing eyes boring right back at her when they connected. What had Erza meant, calling her a traitor? Sure, she never claimed to be a saint, but she didn't do anything to deserve to be called something like that, and if anything, _the guild betrayed her_.

Uncomfortable with Erza's stare, she looked to Natsu. He looked thoughtful as he watched her, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. Lucy never thought she'd actually say something like this about Natsu, but he _almost_ looked wise. _Almost._

Shaking her head, she returned her attention to the stairs, climbing them one by one. The second floor of the guild had been expanded. The S class mage bulletin board still remained up there, situated in the same corner as she remembered. But instead of the wall beside it being empty, a row of doors lined it. Wendy led her into the one closest to the stairs.

"You know," She said, voice less tense, "I don't think I'll ever understand why they moved the infirmary up here. It's hard to get the wounded up the stairs."

Lucy shrugged, not sure what to say to her. Of course, the blue haired girl had a point, but what else more was there to say?

"Why don't you sit in that bed in the back?" She sighed, her shoulders slumping as the door closed behind her. Wendy looked tired, like the last couple of days had been hard on her, "There's someone behind there you should probably meet." She added as an afterthought.

Narrowing her eyes, Lucy nodded. She complied, if anything because even seven years later she couldn't tell the sky dragon slayer no.

* * *

><p>Natsu stepped to the side of Erza, offering a hand to her as he watched her carefully. The chance of Erza leaping up and darting after Lucy was slim as her fits usually left her winded and regretful, but Erza can be full of surprises. He didn't feel like finding his long lost mate cut up into tiny pieces by the enraged equip mage, so he decided to closely watch Erza for as long as the rift between her and Lucy remained gaping and big. To this day, Natsu knew little to nothing involving what triggered her fits. Some days she could talk about Lucy like nothing bad had ever happened, other times even mentioning her would send Erza over the deep end.<p>

But seeing her for the first time in years, he should have known Erza would react violently. Natsu kicked himself for not warning Lucy, or even mentioning it to her. Of all the things that'd changed, Erza had morphed the most. He'd been so caught up in his own feelings to think of the feelings of the others in the guild. Besides maybe himself, Erza took Lucy's departure the hardest. Not because she left without a single word or hint as to where she was heading, but because of a _situation_ that occurred a year after she vanished without a trace. Natsu decided, as Erza clasped her shaking hand in his that now was as good of a time as ever to bring that _situation _up to the blonde currently in the infirmary with Wendy. He had to at least brief her on what happened so Erza's behavior didn't seem like a random act of violence. As much as he dreaded to bring up what happened in the past, which could have been prevented if she'd still been around, it needed to be said, and he was the person for the job.

Hauling Erza to her feet, he steered the emotionally drained mage to a chair and forced her to sit down. Moments after Mirajane arrived with a glass of water and a reassuring smile. She patted Natsu on the shoulder, signifying that she could take care of Erza while he tied up the loose ends lingering from the brawl.

Heaving a heavy, resistant sigh, Natsu rounded over to the stairs. He slowly dragged himself up the steps only to pause at the first door on the second floor. He laid a hand on the cold wood of the door, pushing it ever so carefully to make sure it didn't make a sound. He shifted so he could peer into the room. What he saw made his heart soar. It was nice to see the tenderness returning to Lucy's eyes. It gave him hope that the Lucy he missed so terribly still remained buried down inside. That he could recover her.

Wendy stood off to the side, her hands on her hips as she smiled at the scene, her legs spread in a steady, proud stance. Lucy sat on the cot in the far corner of the infirmary, clean bandages wrapped around her left arm. He figured that Wendy must have used them as more of a precaution as that cut had been marginally deeper than the one on her neck, which looked completely healed from where he stood. Natsu could still detect the awful stench of Lucy's blood in his nostrils and thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. Thinking about Erza's breakdown in general made him sick to his stomach. He detected no intent to maim in the way Erza had been swinging her sword around, she wanted bloodshed and death spilled onto the guildhall's floor, and wouldn't rest until she got her way. That was why Natsu had to interfere. He didn't want anyone getting hurt, and despite the curiosity to see the result of the magic gathering at Lucy's hand, he had to step in, had to knock Erza away before she did something she would regret.

Twitching in uneasy, Natsu focused on the little bundle in Lucy's arms, a blue tail hanging out from underneath the folded pink blanket. Lucy cooed at the hidden being, a small smile lighting up her face. Natsu missed her smile. Missed the calm, adoring look in her eyes. If only she looked at him like that still. He greeted his teeth at the thought.

Beside her on the bed sat Happy and Charles, both looking stunned as they took in Lucy's presence. Happy, scooted closer, his intense stare boring into her like he thought he may be having a dream. "You look different, Lucy." He gushed, his high pitched voice betraying his excitement at seeing her alive and well.

Using the arm that had not been injured by Erza, she shifted the bundle's weight to the side so she could touch her finger tips to the blue creature, wonderment playing over her face as she replied. "You've changed too. I never thought I'd be able to hold a kitten born from you two."

Happy laughed, placing a paw on Charles's at the comment. For a while, he thought Happy might be beating a dead horse concerning Charles as well. The female exceed seemingly wanted nothing to do with Happy for years after all.

"Her name is Hazel. She hatched a couple days ago," Charles cut in, a blush fixating above her white fur, "She looks a lot like her father huh?" She added in a dreamy voice. Who would have thought Charles would ever speak about Happy in such a way? Natsu never guessed.

The little exceed in the bundle begun to fuss, kicking at the blankets. Natsu blinked a couple times when a blinding light flashed, and when it faded Hazel was suspended mid hair, her little wings beating frantically to keep herself away from the floor.

It seemed the baby cat took more than just her looks from her father. Happy learned how to use his magic pretty early on, unlike Charles, who admitted slightly reluctantly that it took her almost a year to successfully use her wings. Hazel met his eyes, brown eyes identical to Charles looking him up in down through the small crack between the door and the wall.

"I was wondering who would notice you first," Wendy spoke, amusement in her voice, "But I wasn't expecting Hazel to be the first to catch you."

Frowning when three other pairs of eyes landed on him, he pushed his way through the door. "I was perfectly content with just watching, thank you very much." He shot Wendy a sour look. As a teenager, Wendy liked to embarrass him, or pick on him. Whenever he found himself in a less than savory situation Wendy would be there, laughing at his idiotic tendencies and scolding him. Like how Lucy used to before she left.

Really though, he couldn't blame Wendy for it. Between the hole Lucy left in the guild, and the way he teased her about her crush on the oblivious Romeo, Wendy was bound to pick up Lucy's place as the sensible, sweet, caring, and somewhat sarcastic member of Team Natsu.

Coming up to cup Hazel in the palms of his hands, he made a face at the little exceed, a shy smile graced the tiny cat's mouth at the goofy expression. Hazel had yet to utter one word, unlike Happy and Charles who spoke gibberish for the first couple weeks of life. Little Hazel remained mute, not even a single giggle or syllable dropping from her mouth. Natsu was determined to be the first to make her laugh.

Lucy stood up from her place on the cot, scratching the area on her neck that used to have a cut. She looked to Wendy, offering up a halfhearted smile not nearly as genuine as when she thought she was alone with the sky dragon slayer and the family of exceeds. Natsu frowned, bumping Hazel in his hands to make the shy smile broaden into a giddy-silent-grin.

"Thanks for everything Wendy," Turning to Happy and Charles, she nodded to them, "I think I'm going to go to bed, it's been a long day."

Lucy brushed passed him, not offering any sort evening tidings, not even a fleeting glance. Licking his lips, Natsu turned and watched her slip from the room, a knot in his stomach. Grunting, he handed Hazel over to Wendy without actually looking at the young exceed or mage. He marched over to the door, hesitating only to wave goodbye to the occupants of the room before exciting.

"Lucy," He called out, the feeling of her name on his tongue smooth, "I'll show you to your room." She'd already made it a couple steps away from the door designated for her. When the guild was notified that the team consisted of two males and one female Mirajane had made sure that the woman would have a separate room for the sake of some privacy. Natsu had never been more pleased with the white haired mage as the thought of Lucy sharing a room with two other guys had his blood boiling.

"I'm sure I can find it on my own." She bit back, pausing in her steps right in front of her door. She looked at the note tied around the door knob, taking it into her hand. He remembered Mirajane writing it out in her loopy, fancy handwriting.

_One bed guest room-female accommodations_

She moved to turn the knob, but Natsu stepped forward in a rush, grasping her wrist in his hand and pulling her away from the door. He could feel the heat of her skin through the pixilated printed army jacket. It felt nice, and the urge to touch more-feel more-was hard to swallow. Clearing his throat, he released her, taking a step back to distance himself in a form of precaution.

"We need to talk." He admitted, serious eyes boring into her averted ones. It bothered him more than anyone could comprehend that she couldn't look at him when all he did was watch her. He yearned for eye contact, for the personal, passionate interaction he dreamed about during the lonely nights.

Her quiet reply had him sighing. "Well I don't want to talk to you. Good night." He jumped in front of her as she made a go for the door, successfully placing himself in front of it so she couldn't escape.

"I'm afraid to say that this isn't something that can be put off until tomorrow. Our problems-both between us and the guild aren't going to go away without working at it-and anyway, I have orders from Laxus to _resolve our spat_ before we leave tomorrow. Or at least resolve it as best we can."

"Tell Laxus that he can't order me around like he does you, and that I refuse to talk to you. Now if you'll excuse me—"

Natsu growled, the sound low with frustration and irritation as he interrupted her, "Jellal's dead Lucy," It was fairly obvious to him that she wouldn't listen if he didn't catch her attention. What better way to do that than to shock her, "He died from a rare disease he got while in prison. There was only one cure for it, a combination of sky dragon slayer magic and pure celestial magic from a celestial wizard-not a spirit-but a wizard. We had the sky dragon slayer, but our stellar mage went missing two years before Jellal fell ill, and we could never find her. Erza never got over that." He spoke in earnest, his arms crossing over his chest while he watched her struggle with the information. A part of him felt some sort of victory in seeing her cool exterior fall at the horrible news, her mouth hung open as she grasped for words. When none came she gritted her teeth, snarling to herself. Squeezing her eyes shut, she flinched to the side like knowing about Jellal's death was physically hurting her.

Natsu offered no condolences. He never thought he'd revel in watching his love wallow in pity and shame, but he couldn't deny that it felt like some sick sort of justice to him. She'd made him and the rest of the guild suffer in ways he couldn't even begin to explain-and they her-but seeing the pain in her eyes made everything clearer, _realer_ for him. He never realized how cold and hard his emotions had gotten without her around him until he saw the warmth of the suffering reflected in her. Her emotion still ran wild, while his had been snuffed out long ago. Hopefully, time permitted, Lucy would be able to draw out the old energy he used to be known for. "Are you willing to listen to what I have to say now?"

Her eyes shot up, defiance in them. She didn't say anything but instead matched his position by crossing her arms over her chest. The conflicting emotions still spelled out on her face.

"Alright then," He nodded to himself, clicking his tongue in an oddly calm manner as he thought about what thoughts he should speak out loud, "First off I'd like to apologize for Erza's lapse in control. Gajeel and I tried to slow her down, but she'd heard from the towns people of your return and came to the guild to finish something you weren't even there for Ever sense Jellal's death, Erza's been…unpredictable where her temper is concerned."

"You shouldn't apologize for her, she has a right to be angry," Lucy hissed, the anger and dismay in her voice throwing him off. He'd expected her to be sheepish, maybe even coy, but the blatant distaste radiating off of her had him feeling more skeptical about _her_ mental stability instead of Erza's, "I wasn't there when she needed me most, and I can deal with that. That can be remedied if given enough time."

He stared at her, surprised by her bland choice in words. He'd been expecting explosive denial, resistance, and anger with a vengeance. She sounded defeated. Weird, considering the fire in her eyes.

"Unlike our relationship." She mumbled under her breath. The words had his heart constricting. Did she really think repairing their broken relationship was that hopeless? Sure, he'd admit that he didn't know how to even begin fixing a mess to that proportion, but he would be damned if he didn't try.

"Look Lucy," Running a hand through his hair, he decided to just spit it out. What 'it' was he didn't know, but going off his instincts had never failed him before, and after what happened between him and Lucy before-when his instincts were screaming at him not to leave her side, he decided to never ignore them again, "I've made mistakes, I understand that, we all make them, and regret them, then hopefully get over them. But that's the issue. I haven't gotten over mine, and will probably pay for them for as long as I live."

"Why don't you tell it to someone who cares. You don't have to tell me about mistakes or regrets, I've built my life on them. Now, if you excuse me I'm tired, and want to go to bed." She spat, her foot tapping impatiently on the wood flooring.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. _So Sorry_." His words were rushed, frantic even. He practically felt her drifting away from him, and now the only thing left for him to do was to reach out for her—metaphorically speaking of course. He couldn't picture her accepting any type of physical interaction with him, so he would beg for some mental understanding. Can't she see how much he'd suffered?

"You know what Natsu, I'm sorry too," She added evenly, "I'm sorry that what we had ended the way it did. I'm sorry I couldn't be here when Jellal, Lisanna, and Makarov passed away. I'm sorry for all the resentment I saw in Erza when she looked at me. I'm sorry for missing Gajeel and Levy's marriage and children. I'm sorry for making everyone worried," She stepped closer, gazing up to him with stern brown eyes, he couldn't get a read on them, only blank darkness. No emotion, all seriousness. It scared the shit out of him. With wide eyes he gulped as she sneered up at him, "I guess I'm sorry for a lot of things, but I'm not sorry for leaving. For leaving you."

Then, with the strength of a trained warrior, she pushed by him, successfully opening the door to her room before he could regain his balance. He spoke up when she had one foot in the door. "I want you to know that when you were gone, Lisanna and I never happened. I couldn't." He had to tell her at least that. He couldn't let her go to sleep with those vile words on her mind. He didn't know when it started, but his body shook like he'd just fought a thousand and one enemies. She couldn't possibly be serious about not regretting leaving. He knew, that as his mate she still had feelings for him-no matter how deep she buried them-they had to still be there. Emotions like that don't just fade away. He craned his neck over his shoulder to look at her, maybe catch her eye. Instead he got a good look at her back.

She stood frozen in the doorway. Her hands fisted, like she was either holding something strong back or weighing her options out very carefully. She didn't move to face him even once, didn't move a muscle for what felt like hours. Natsu narrowed his eyes, fearing her reaction.

Leaning against the doorframe she slumped. The smell of salt invaded his senses. "Natsu, if there is any chance that you still have feelings for me, that you still care, don't ever let me know." She shook her head, voice small, frame curling in on itself as she stumbled into her room.

The door closed with a soft click, and he did nothing to stop it. For seconds, minutes maybe, hours even, he stood there listening to the muffled sniffles. He wasn't thinking. He just stayed, taking in the scent of her tears, the sounds of her cries until she finally tired herself out, her breath growing more steady and deep as she drifted off to sleep.

Resting his head against the wall besides her door he closed his eyes. _Don't ever let me know_. Her words whispered in his mind, and he wondered how the hell she expected him to act like it never mattered to him. To them. Placing a hand onto the wall, his fingers twitched with the need to punch something, anything. He refrained, for if he let his impulses get the best of him she would awaken and possibly get emotional again.

He couldn't take that again, not when he knew he directly caused her tears. And for that reason, because he owed her so much, he would go along with her wishes. No matter how much it killed him, he would do it for her. He would do anything for her. As long as she remained happy, he could sustain on the memory of what was, and do what he can to survive what could possibly be the worst time of his life.

_If you still care, don't ever let me know_.

Wiping the wetness away from his eyes, he tried to quell the quivering in his lip to no avail. His vision blurred, and in seconds after the stinging almost became unbearable more little drops of sadness and despair blotted his cheeks. The hand resting on the wall curled above his head as his body collapsed into the solid structure, his knees knocking into it with a _thunk_. He slapped the wall lightly, as if the sound would chase his demons away and cover up his gross sobs.

It hurt so bad, to let it all just fall apart, even if it'd been fractured for so long. The worst part the whole thing was that she was so close, the closest in seven years, but never had she felt so distant. So out of reach, so untouchable.

But then again, Natsu never believed in miracles. So why would he consider her return be one anyway? Miracles were things that happened in story books and Fairy Tales, and despite the name of his guild, he didn't live in one.

And as far as he could see, he wouldn't be anytime soon.

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

So this was supposed to be up on Christmas. I had to watch my brother's girlfriend's kids for like four days at their house. I never went home Christmas and therefore never got my computer to write. Besides, they don't have internet so it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

But better late than never right?

Okay, so this chapter was ridiculous, and really propelled this story further into the plot. If you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them within the next chapter or next AN. But beware, I do not give spoilers!

My Christmas fic will be updated soon. Along with Spin. So those are some things to look forward for! Once again, those things were supposed to be finished by or at least updated by Christmas as well. But things happened. Sorry!

I hope everyone have a wonderful holiday!


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